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I'm a Canadian so I keep all my guns in the freezer where they won't… more »

Puty talks about snakes too much.


Location: Where Tory backbenchers roam


I'm a Canadian so I keep all my guns in the freezer where they won't melt. I like good comics and bad urges. I have a cat named Henry, a snake named "Scoodles" and another snake named Fred and that's him in the mugshot. He's 15 or 16 years old, I think. He's sure in a twitchy mood tonight! Ha ha! Good old Fred!

More Than You Need to Know

    This or That

  • Punch Buggy or Slug Bug
  • Bring It On or Stomp the Yard
  • Cowgirls, Inc. or Pony
  • Dan Savage or Charles Mudede
  • No legs and a million dollars or A million legs and no dollars
  • Vampire or Zombie
  • Frank Gehry or Rem Koolhaas
  • Dicks or Vaginas
  • Barsuk or Fantagraphics
  • SF or LA
  • Wildrose or Staying Home (Lesbians only)
  • Will in Seattle or Fnarf
  • Folklife or A kick in the face while drowning in fish guts
  • Production or Devel
  • Tom Skerritt or Dave Matthews
  • Questions

  • What song do you want played at your funeral?: "Bermuda" (Jonathan Richman)
  • What song do you never want to hear again?: "Shook Me All Night Long" (AC/DC)
  • What do you like to read when you poop?: I play Tetris on my cell phone.
  • What keeps you up at night?: Procrastination
  • What helps you sleep?: Exhaustion
  • What song or movie makes you cry?: none, I'm dead inside
  • Where's your hairiest square inch?: ...my cat?
  • If you could bring one dead person back to life, who would it be?: My mom
  • What book have you read the most?: Too nerdy to say.
  • What movie can you recite verbatim?: WAY too nerdy to say.
  • What piece of art would you steal?: I'm too honest to steal. (Goya, "Saturn Devouring His Children"
  • What's your biggest grammatical pet peeve?: "borrow me some money"
  • What is your sweetest taboo?: Women who are younger than middle-aged.
  • For Trolls Only

  • Dan Savage started the Iraq war. Why?: He loves too much.
  • If you found out you were going to have a pit-bull baby, would you have an abortion?: Yes
  • Why are people so afraid to learn the truth about building 7?: I dunno, socialism?
  • Where do you buy your WOW Gold?: I'm too honest to buy WOW gold, and shut up.
  • What's your favorite Charles Mudede post?: That one with the picture of a building with incomprehensible Marxist allusions
  • Fill in the Blank

  • God is: best enjoyed in metaphor

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