Jan 29, 2014
commented on Amy Thone Is Abnormally Talented
@7: Over 300,000 people died of AIDS in the US in the 1980s, the vast majority of them young gay men. The epicenter of the epidemic was New York.
That's a national trauma on the scale of 6 Vietnam Wars, with the impact concentrated in our community. Look around at the bars, at the parades, at the political meetings and rallies: you'll notice that there's a generation missing.
The number of dead, BTW, now stands at over 600,000 in the US, and at 30 million worldwide. Over 1.2 million Americans are living with HIV, 20% of them don't know it, and infection rates are rising among young gay men who seem to think that living with HIV is just like living with diabetes. (And why the fuck, one wonders, would anyone be blase about living with diabetes? That shit sucks too!)
Oct 8, 2013
commented on Savage Love: Fisting Fibromyalgia?
@15: The general rule in tort law is that consent is a defense. If the fistee consented, then they assumed the risks inherent in fisting, and the fister is not liable for either foreseeable harm or for negligence. If the injury was caused by something outside the scope of consent, or if the fister inflicted harm either recklessly or deliberately, then they may still be liable.
There is also a limit to what you can consent to -- rough sex that is very likely to lead to serious injury or death is not something you can validly consent to. The top will be liable if, for example, you let her nail your testicles to the wall, even if you'd filled out a signed, witnessed, and notarized consent form.
And there is also the criminal law to consider. State sexual assault statutes may have different mens rea and consent rules than tort law, and prosecutors can prosecute even if your sex partner doesn't want them to.
May 10, 2013
commented on David Sedaris on The Daily Show
@8: No, Sedaris is actually a pretty keen observer and a masterful ironist. The problem here is probably that you haven't been to the Midwest lately. 60 year-olds do, in fact, wear sweatpants and T-shirts to the theater. It's as if every day is laundry day for, like, two thirds of the population.
May 6, 2013
commented on Kinky People Are Kinky
"Most of us agree now that gay people are born that way."
No we don't. We agree that sexuality is a personality trait that is pretty well fixed at an early age. It is not chosen, nor is it likely to change. But we don't really know or care whether gay people are born "that way" or develop "that way."
Apr 8, 2013
commented on Bill Keller Hands Mark Regnerus and Tony Perkins Their Asses in Today's NYT
"In point of fact the plaintiff in Brown v Board won by convincing the court that separate but equal was a bad thing."
Well, sure, the first thing you have to do in a lawsuit like this is show that you have suffered harm. That's very easy in the DOMA case: the widow of a lesbian marriage is getting half her stuff confiscated by a government that thinks it has the right to impose estate taxes on what is, in fact, marital property. It was a little harder to prove in Brown v. Board.
But the *second* thing you have to do is ask the government if they have a good reason for discriminating against you. That's the meat of the DOMA debate (though it was very easily dealt with in Brown).
Apr 8, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Lick It Up
I enjoy the taste of my own come (which I first tasted on the principle that I wouldn't ask anyone else to do anything I wasn't willing to do myself). Not in any kind of fetishistic way - I get no sexual pleasure from eating it - but it is often convenient and tidy to lap it up rather than trying to mop it up.