commented on Ted Rall's Cartoons Banned from Daily Kos for "Ape-Like" Depiction of President Obama
@40 "if you are white, you are part of the structure of racism"
I fail to see how my pink European children are part of the structure of racism. The youngest one invited a lovely brown girl to his birthday, and he never ever thought of telling me beforehand of her skin color. I was pretty pleased with my educating skills, when she arrived.
But I clearly see how endlessly asking about someone's "race" in official paperwork is part of the structure of racism. Skin color has never been anything else than skin color, just like eye color. There is only one race in humankind and all of us are it.
"which is the only kind of racism really worth thinking about."
In the US, probably. Not so in other parts of the world.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Partners Still
@43 I agree. Andrea deserves an ending of this being the second-choice one.
But, to be fair... don't you know that most humans are hamsters trapped in human bodies ?
commented on The Neverending Love for Blackface
Just a question.
What about two pink females applying brown (not black) makeup and wearing tennis player outfits, in order to dress up as the sisters Serena and Venus Williams, in a country with no history of blackface or minstrelsy, nor a history of racial segregation ?
Their costume was not worn in a mocking manner, but the brown makeup was so unevenly applied it looked pretty bad, to the point they had to explain who they were despite having "serena" and "venus" sewed on the back of their clothes, and a tennis raquette each. They mainly looked covered in mud.
I'm not defending them, nor condemning them. I myself don't apply brown makeup when I dress up in an actual Malian dress, because I feel I'm dressing up as "an African" and not as "an African who is black" (and I hate makeup). So, I'd like to know whether that's insensitive of them or not ?
commented on George Zimmerman Was Carrying an Arsenal When He Was Arrested
He was the agressor. He chased the child. The child ran away, and cried for help. He killed the child.
Had Trayvon been born with another skin color, or in a country with a less racist police and justice, that cold-blooded child killer Zimmerman would be in prison right now.
commented on The Liz & Mary Show
"Had he been elected, he would have shifted with the wind and been a better president than the one we currently have."
A good leader is not one who shifts with the wind. Especially if the wind blows due money. But also if the wind blows from the street...
Presidents who shift with the wind encourage social unrest, since it is then highly rewarded. You don't want that, do you, raindrop ?
commented on SLLOTD: Curious Business
I see it as a cautious way not to out oneself as bi, to bad consequences (worse than breaking up). It seems the LW and the boyfriend don't know much about her, so her being vindictive is a real possibility.
I assume Dan has info over the LW being out as gay to the girlfriend. If she finds the MMF proposal offensive, to the point of breaking up with the boyfriend, she won't be able to hurt him much in the community. If she stays with bi guy, and is against the MMF, it won't happen, nobody will be outed, no harm done.
If she considers the threesome in a positive light, then only should her consent be sought for the MM sex. And that, not because straight girls shall have a pass at hating MM, but because the asker is M and known to her as straight, so he is supposed to disagree to MM sex by himself. So it's on him to make it clear that MM is indeed on the table, or likewise, that he won't fight it off too vigorously if it does happen.
In Dan's wording, the focus is not on MM sex happening but on the boyfriend looking or not looking forward to it. So it's not "X only with Y clearly off the table", it's "X sure and maybe Y but I'm not after it, even though gay LW will obviously be" or "X sure and I'll try Y as well but only because you find it hot, since I'm not out as bi yet".
If the girlfriend is up for "X and maybe Y", I would expect the boyfriend, before the threesome, to admit to being at least bi-curious, though.
It seems only common courtesy to offer a MMF by saying "are you up for two males in your bed ?" then, if agreed, "we'll both have sex with you and if we're all in the mood probably I'll have sex with LW too, but please don't believe I'm looking forward to it" instead of "are you up for me and LW having sex in front of you but of course we'll both have sex with you too before ?".
There is some dishonesty in it, but it seems that all participants are fairly young, so they may have theoretical ideas about what they'll find hot or bothering that will not be confirmed by experience. I think experience should be acquired, within consent, of course. So there should also be plenty of talk beforehand about how to stop the scene if it's not working for one of the participants.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Painful Subject
PLEASE NO KIDS WITH HIM.
The only reason he's not hurting you more is because you can tell and you can leave.
He'll be alone with the baby sometimes.
Wanna have a sickly, grouchy baby, always crying, with unexplained illnesses ? Until you get it to the hospital, and find out there are broken healed bones of all ages, or it's been shaken and it's mostly brain dead now ?
DON'T HAVE KIDS WITH A SELF-PROCLAIMED ABUSER-IN-WAITING.
And remember : trust him to his word as to what he is. He is someone who's willing to admit he likes to inflict pain on others without consent. Even if you divorce after becoming a mother, he'll have a highway at getting back at you by torturing the child. And until he really does it, you'll never be able to prevent him from having unsupervised visits with the child. You want to live that kind of hell, not knowing whether you'll see your child again whenever it goes with its father ?
commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Painful Subject
LW : You love your husband. Your husband doesn't love you. But ! He really really wants to stay married to you because he needs someone to abuse (= hurt without safewords) and you're the one he has succeded in deceiving into it, after several failed attempts. He won't hurt you more than you allow, because then you'll walk.
And you're already allowing being deprived of sexual pleasure for years already, without safeword, and being cervix-pounded without safeword. That's some hurting he obviously didn't do before disclosing he was, not a honest naive sadist, but an abuser-in-willing - I guess you didn't knowingly marry into bad sex ?
He doesn't love you, you're just a convenient at-home victim for his need to make someone around him miserable. Love doesn't hurt ! (though I grant it may consensually physically hurt, with a safeword).
commented on Savage Love
@nocutename "don't shit where you eat"
I'm confused about the meaning of this, in context. Do you mean : be nice to the person you're about to bed, you'll be safer ?