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lolorhone
I walk on concrete, I walk on sand, but I can't find a safe place to stand.
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Bio

Writer, sketcher, occasional singer, good cook, and PJ Harvey superfan, though a lot less depressive… more »

TMI

  • Frank Gehry or Rem Koolhaas
  • What keeps you up at night?: Politics
  • Dan Savage or Charles Mudede
  • What movie can you recite verbatim?: Pulp Fiction
  • If you could bring one dead person back to life, who would it be?: James Baldwin

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lolorhone is doing the damn thang.
Jul 7 lolorhone commented on SL Letter of the Day: Call the Open Question.
Ophian @11: I reserved the vacation package with your brand well in advance of the advertised special here. Not exclusively, mind you. Just leave a mint on the pillow for me. :)
Jun 30 lolorhone commented on SL Letter of the Day: Queens of the Retail Stage.
I've always counted myself lucky that the only type of person who bothers me is an asshole. Mostly because every time someone runs down their list of unacceptable types, I almost always have heard their type run down on the lists of many other people before them.
Jun 25 lolorhone commented on Savage Love.
Joan Price @26: I don't think OBA's cousin would have bothered to specify "lesbian experience" (with the intention of having OBA watch and then join in) if OBA was a woman. That said, has OBA asked the newly divorced/liberated cousin if she had someone- or a type of someone- in mind? It's wonderful that OBA is being proactive (goddamn it, I hate that word BTW), but it makes much more sense for both of them to do the seeking; not only will they be able to draw from a deeper pool of potentials, they can also align their tastes and preferences before they pick their unicorn (escorts included).
Jun 23 lolorhone commented on SL Letter of the Day: Flawed Parents-In-Law.
Or: Good evening, assholes. If you continue your assholic behavior, you will be minus not just your child and your future in-laws but also your future grandchildren for the rest of your asshole lives. Your call.
Jun 20 lolorhone commented on Savage Love.
Allen Gilliam @258:

The concept of hostile work environments are Orwellian bullshit? Your privilege is showing.

How is security supposed to tell the difference between a joke and a 'real' threat? And isn't it quite possible that while they make that determination, a 'real' threat could get through in the confusion?

And please enlighten me on the finer points of offense and feelings in the law fifty years ago. I'd hate to speak on things I know nothing about.
Jun 20 lolorhone commented on Savage Love.
Allen Gilliam @246: When did I say it should be against the law to hurt someone's feelings? The concept I was invoking was the hostile work environment, not 'That mean man made fun of me, Mommy." If you think that's just the delicate feelz of the coddled masses, I hope your insatiable gay boss is real.

You think it's unreasonable to lock someone up for making bomb jokes at the airport because terrorists don't make bomb jokes? How gallingly incompetent would security be if they just assumed that and let the person through? If needlessly mobilizing emergency resources because some idiot thought it'd be funny to make hundreds of people feel inches from death isn't worth getting incarcerated to you, I'm not sure what would be.

Finally, if the law fifty years ago is your ideal template for justice and equality, there's really no need for us to continue this debate.
Jun 19 lolorhone commented on Savage Love.
Mako&Muldrow @191: For you? Hell, I'll even "accidentally" drop my pen...
Jun 19 lolorhone commented on Savage Love.
nocutename @187: Thank you, mon truc sauvage. And as for the link, I sent that to my favorite awesome feminist journalism teacher from high school a few hours ago. To which she replied: "Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa!"
Jun 19 lolorhone commented on Savage Love.
Allen Gilliam @167: Of course there are limits to speech. Of course speech can be victimizing. How ridiculous. You can't make bomb jokes at airports without serious legal repercussions. You can't make sexual advances on someone you've employed without opening yourself up to litigation. You can't tell someone you want them dead or gravely injured without opening yourself up to charges of harassment/terrorist threats. The consequences of how one can make another feel have always been deeply ingrained within the law- and that's hardly a leftist agenda.

P.S.

If your previous scenario with the gay male boss is not hypothetical then I- a gay man myself- would strongly suggest you sue the shit out of him. He's taking serious advantage of the power dynamic- he could always ostracize, demote, or terminate you if you objected to his behavior, whether in jest or not. And I suspect if you were to take that experience and imagine that it more or less applied 24/7 with bosses and co-workers and strangers alike you'd soon gain a much better appreciation for both a woman's perspective and the power of words.
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Jun 19 lolorhone commented on Savage Love.
Allen Gilliam @115

Some selected quotes:

1) Even if my gay, male boss told me that he'd like to bend me over his desk and ream open my tight, virgin, hetero asshole, I wouldn't get lawyers involved.

2) Your feelings of "vulnerability, fear, shame, and embarrassment" are your problems to get over.

3) Stop assuming that how you feel is objectively the correct way to feel and everyone else has to accommodate you.

So one can conclude from quotes 1 and 2 that, personally, you have no issue with uncomfortable sexual propositions at the workplace and feel that one's emotions in reaction to such things are exclusively that person's cross to bear. In response to both those assertions, I direct you to quote 3.
 
 

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