commented on Savage Love
SHUTOUT, it may be worth knowing that these people are bad Catholics too. Catholicism disapproves of any sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage, of course, but that does not mean that heterosexual Catholics are permitted to treat you like shit. The Catechism is pretty clear about how LGBT people are supposed to be treated by others.
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.
If you want to be a Catholic, then you are obliged to recognize that same-sex sexual activity is sinful, that monogamy is required, etc., etc. But, the mere fact of being
gay or lesbian or bisexual isn't in itself sinful, only the acts are. My guess is that you're not all that interested in being a Catholic, so the Catechism doesn't apply to you.
apply to your in-laws, however. So the next time they treat you disrespectfully, you might helpfully offer them some guidance for something they might want to discuss in confession.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: This Land Was Made for You & Me (to Have Sex in Public)
LW already has a partner who wants to fuck outside, so really, unless you are exhibitionists or are trolling for a third partner, the two of you can go anywhere remote and get your groove on reasonably safely.
I really enjoyed cruising outdoors in my youth. Something about the taboo nature, the setting, the anonymity and uncertainty were all very exciting. I actually fantasized about it even before I consciously understood I was gay.
But here's the thing, especially about cruising in urban parks: a lot of people use them for a lot of purposes, including letting the kids run around. I've come around to the idea that having sex where someone who is not a voyeur stands a decent chance of seeing me get it on is kind of rude. I just don't want to ruin someone else's experience of the park.
So if my partner and I want to fuck outside, we go somewhere where we almost certainly won't meet anyone else. And if I want to put on a show or get into something random, I'll do that somewhere appropriate like a sex party or bath or something. Another alternative are the few places where outdoor nudity is expected (like a nude beach). There are also gay campgrounds and resorts (and, I'm assuming straight equivalents).
commented on We Just Bombed Syria
@10 It's not a decision for the President to make. Trump himself criticized Obama for not seeking Congressional authority to launch a war over Libya and Obama declined to get involved in Syria in part because Congress wouldn't go along.
It's not like this was an imminent threat to the US Trump had to counter either. And it's action that will achieve less than nothing. Assad still isn't going anywhere. Relations with Russia are now even worse. Trump would have been better off heeding his own advice and sitting on his hands.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: After 15 Years, Her Husband Still Looks Like A Child & She's Not Into It
Honestly, I cannot for the life of me understand how Dan could suggest divorce as an appropriate response to this letter.
This guy isn't abusive, or dangerous, or disrespectful or even unpleasant to be around, but just because she's just not into twinks anymore physically, she wants to break up with this guy who has been there for her through some really hard times and supported her through some really difficult shit.
Just what kind of a horrible, selfish, shallow jerk would break up a marriage over this? This is how Donald Trump treats spouses.
I got news for you: no-one gets to stay young and hot (or manly and hot or whatever). Old age is coming for us all, and it ain't pretty. LW's husband has already proven he's got the chops to last.
Get your priorities straight, LW. Spouses aren't things that exist for your pleasure. And there are a lot of other things more important than sex.
That's how life is: you can't have it all. Make your choice and make it a wise one.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: PrEP and Prejudice
@12 Since being diagnosed, I've had:
- Student health insurance (pre-ACA) that didn't cover prescriptions (they did help me by referring me to a study that got me treatment for the duration of the study, with the downside being that I had to use the study's medications, which had some pretty gnarly side effects for me)
- Coverage through VA (which, whatever their problems may be, has always been stellar for me, and for which I am immensely grateful)
- Coverage from an employer (varying degrees of quality, but generally decent).
I haven't used Medicaid, because I've had the VA open to me, but I know people who have used it and been covered.
You should know that local organizations which receive Ryan White funding generally have the means to help cover the cost of coverage, depending on your income. Essentially, Ryan White really helps take care of people who don't qualify for Medicaid but whose other insurance options are generally too expensive for them based on income. I had a partner in this situation and the local HIV organization helped him cover his costs immensely.
Happily, Ryan White funding was one of the few areas that Trump left alone in his otherwise brutal budget, so it's likely safe for the immediate future, though we'll see what Congress does.
Basically, if you're not getting treatment, especially in an urban environment with a good HIV organization, you're probably not looking for it.