Corydon
Arizona
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Feb 16 Corydon commented on Savage Love.
Another thing that UTAH might consider is exploring other options for financing college. A stint in the military might do the trick, now that DADT is no longer on the books. Bonus: it would probably get her uber Republican parents off her back (What Mom and Dad? Why wouldn't you want me to serve my country? Do you hate servicemembers and veterans?). It's a time-honored means of escape from these situations.

The GI Bill was an awesome deal in my day and, from what I understand, has only gotten better. The downside: UTAH would have to adapt to military life (for many people, this is a very good thing, but given her other problems it could be a issue) and would probably have to delay college by a bit (although not necessarily as much as she might fear; the military strongly encourages post-secondary education among enlistees).

If not the military, there are other kinds of opportunities that can help finance college that might be worth checking into. Is Americorps still a thing?
Feb 15 Corydon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why Is My Gay Son Hooking Up With a Girl?.
@1 Homosexuality is something people do.
Or don't.
It is not what they are.


That's carrying things too far. Homosexuality has been defined from the very beginning as an attraction to members of the same gender often with a lack of sexual interest in the opposite sex. It has nothing to do with acts, everything to do with what's going on inside your head (read Krafft-Ebing if you don't believe me; the word "homosexual" originated with the English translation of this work).

It's entirely possible to be homosexual and never engage in sexual acts at all. Eve Tushnet is basically the poster child for this point of view.
Feb 15 Corydon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why Is My Gay Son Hooking Up With a Girl?.
I've long been of the opinion that truly, 100% straight or gay men are incredibly rare. Most of us are seated somewhere along the long continuum of bisexuality. We've been encouraged to think in binary terms, both by bigots who define their sexuality in opposition to gay men (especially; notice that the Christian right doesn't talk about lesbianism with anything approaching the same level of vitriol, This, too, goes back at least as far as the 19th century.) but also by LGBT activists, who found it convenient to use "born this way" rhetoric to advance our agenda.

Our respective cultures strongly encourage us to pick one. Lots of straight people are invested in a monogamous ideal of marriage (however imperfectly adhered to in practice) that necessarily excludes same-sex relationships. As for gay men, have you heard the scorn heaped upon men who come out as bi?

So to get back to MO's question, it's possible that her son actually is confused. That's OK. You're supposed to be confused as a teenager. He'll work things out for himself as time goes by. The important things are to continue doing all those important parenting things that MO is already doing: being supportive, unconditional love, all that.

And yes, adding in the sex education that he's absolutely not getting in school is an important part of that.
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Jan 30 Corydon commented on Update: Uber Kept Driving Amid Taxi Strike, Announces $3M In Support of Ban-Threatened Drivers; Lyft Donates $1M to the ACLU.
@12 Try it. You might just find that you like living without mega media corporations in your life.

I can't delete Uber because I never allowed them on my phone. Anyone who has been following the antics of the douche who runs the company knows that Uber is not a company you want to be doing business with.

This latest action merely cements what I already knew.
Jan 20 Corydon commented on The Racists Are Not Afraid Anymore.
"Blacks Make Racial Slurs & Commit Hate Crimes Too!!"

Well, yes. In my experience all human beings are prone to prejudice. It's something we all have to struggle with.
Jan 20 Corydon commented on Thanks, Obama: Favorite Presidential Moments from the Last Eight Years.
As someone who was discharged under DADT and who later worked in a small way for its repeal, I've got to say this was really the high point for me. It was really hard for me to believe; I had to walk into a recruiter's office with my DD214 to see if it was really true (it was; at my age they would have let me into the reserves, I would have kept most of my rank, but would have had to go through basic training again. If I hadn't tested positive for HIV in the interim I might have done it too). That was one very personal thing that President Obama helped accomplish.

Speaking more broadly about the country, it's really hard to overstate the importance of the ACA. Democrats have been pushing towards the goal of coverage for all since the 1930s, but it's always been too heavy of a lift. The ACA is imperfect, both in philosophy (a simple, straight-up single payer system has always been my preference) and design (the criticisms about increasing premiums, decreasing benefits and lack of providers are valid), but has unquestionably been a major step forward in coverage.
Jan 16 Corydon commented on Inside the Debate Over Whether the Seattle Womxn's March Should Be Silent.
@3 At the risk of quoting a dead, white, cisgendered, male member of the patriarchy, "We must indeed all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."

@6 Straight-up question for you: what is it about your gender, race and orientation that makes your voice an essential and powerful part of how you assert and defend yourself? Is that less true for people of other races? Other genders? Other orientations? Should we assign greater or lesser value to people's voices on those grounds?

I think President Obama was talking about the power of ideas, argued passionately, convincingly, and with conviction. Surely the ability to do that is independent of the traits you mentioned.

You seem to have accepted an identity based on those traits. To a large degree, society imposes that identity on you. What I'm suggesting is that you are much, much more than that.
Jan 16 Corydon commented on Attorney General Cracks Down on Landlords Who Ban Felons, Citing Disproportionate Impact on Black Renters.
@6 I've lived with people who had prior felonies before. Yes, with unlocked doors and everything. One even had a second degree murder conviction from a couple decades prior. People really do turn their lives around.

I think a better solution would be something like the UK's Rehabilitation of Offenders Act. Basically, if you don't reoffend, then after a certain period of time, depending on the severity of the offense, your felony is considered "spent" and essentially wiped from your record.

In other words, it gives you full rehabilitation into society. You no longer have to report your record to anyone (except in certain narrow cases), not landlords, not employers, not the police. It doesn't turn up on background checks. You are simply no longer a felon.
Jan 12 Corydon commented on About Trump's L.L. Bean Tweet.
See, this is what happens when we allow every single last little detail of our lives to become saturated with politics. We are now reduced to analyzing tweets for hidden meanings and for whether we are being manipulated into boycotting this or that right or wrong person or whatever.

I, for one, am not going to live my life this way. I refuse to cede that much control over my life to Donald Trump.

So how about this: you like LL Bean's products? Their customer service? Then buy their stuff. They don't have the right size or color or design? Then don't.

Simple as that.
Jan 12 Corydon commented on Savage Love Letters of the Day: Reader Advice Round-up.
As far as the Strictly Come Dancing advice goes, I'd agree; if you're going to events like that solely to pick up then, yeah, you're a creeper. Go DIAF.

But that's not how I read the advice. I read the advice as saying, go out and do some interesting stuff. Meet some interesting people. Make some interesting friends. And, as you expand your social circle in healthy ways like that, the relationship piece probably will happen organically at some point. You can't predict when or where or with whom, but it will happen.

It does take patience. But so do most other good things in life.