Jun 9, 2014 drivel commented on The Walmart Man Who Would Be Alive Today If He Didn't Have a Concealed Weapon.
I am inferring from this: "He continued: "As soon as he began to confront Jerad Miller with his firearm, " that he did something like point his gun at the shooter and tell him to drop it. If I am incorrect, I retract this. If not:

Do not draw a gun you don't intend to shoot, and don't point a gun at anyone or anything you don't intend to kill. Draw and shoot immediately, or do not draw. Guns are not for intimidation.

(This whole thing is a giant pile of horrible and I'm very sorry for the loss of the loved ones of the innocent victims.)
Mar 13, 2014 drivel commented on Dominic Holden Is Being Promoted to Associate Editor of The Stranger.
he's apparently hotter than I've always pictured.
Jan 7, 2014 drivel commented on SL Letters of the Day: Two Satisfied Customers.
"REALLY, everything's great except the sex."

- regrets
Jan 7, 2014 drivel commented on She Didn't See It Coming.
Dec 25, 2013 drivel commented on Savage Love.
@1, vibrators don't do anything for me unless I'm already pretty aroused. And fuck having streams of water on my clit. I don't dig really intense sensation on my clit at all until right AFTER I come. if

It took me a long time to figure out what made the difference between "that's nice/this is fun/laying in a sweaty pile with you after we fuck is nice" and "aroused."

if you don't like vibrators, try the opposite... LESS sensation rather than more.

(a) turns out what I really like on my clit is nothing at all until I'm pretty aroused. I like lots of touching elsewhere (e.g. gently stroking the spot between my vag and my thigh. Or running a finger along the crest of my labia). TEASING. and then what generally makes me come is sensation so delicate as to not be counted as stimulation at all by many people.

(b) try reading about some kink. or "My secret garden." or erotica in general. read a bunch of stories till something seems interesting, follow that, and don't touch yourself at all until you start to feel something.
Jul 21, 2013 drivel commented on This Weekend in Great Reads Behind Paywalls: The New Yorker on Domestic Violence Homicides.
Also, this is a really good article on why saying abuse and love are mutually exclusive hurts victims and delays them from getting out: disruptingdinnerparties.com/what-is-love…
Jul 21, 2013 drivel commented on This Weekend in Great Reads Behind Paywalls: The New Yorker on Domestic Violence Homicides.
Holy victim blaming.

I would venture to say that women staying with their abusers has a lot less to do with delusions of their own power to change someone and a lot more to do with believing they'll never find anyone else that will love them and be with them.

They don't believe they deserve better. The bit about many of the victims coming from abusive background is not a throwaway tidbit, it's identifying a huge risk factor.

As for why women love their abusers, the human brain's capacity to fall (protectively) in worshipful love with someone who holds the power of life and death over you is pretty fucking well documented.

As is the mammalian brain's immense sense of reward when pleasure and affection are dispersed only intermittently and unpredictably.

As is the human tendency to place a higher value on that which comes to us at great cost (band camp, the Marines, children, relationships that are horrible for us).

None of that is news.
May 12, 2013 drivel commented on The Spazz Age.
my favorite jab that none of the college kids sitting around me seemed to get was when Daisy slipped a pen into Buchannan's pocket in the party scene "in case you need to write down any phone numbers." aka, "whatever, I know you fuck other people. why don't you go chase that for a bit and leave me to my flirtation." I laughed.
May 10, 2013 drivel commented on What Do You Think of the Gravity Trailer?.
This trailer played last night in front of Gatsby, and I lost my faith in humanity (again) after just about the entire theatre burst into laughter when the astronaut spins away unthethered to her presumable death. I was sitting in the front, and looked behind me incredulously to see dozens of people making the spinning motion with their hands, throwing their heads back laughing.
May 2, 2013 drivel commented on Watch SPD Liberally Apply Pepper Spray to Protester Faces.
The 'correct' protester response would be to lie down in the road. The 'correct' police response to that is to drag you into a paddy wagon and arrest your protestin' self.

Unfortunately... I think protesters in this country no longer believe that the police will act in good faith and not kick/abuse/pepperspray the shit out of anyone sitting in. see also, Occupy Berkley.