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Apr 19 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love.
BiDanFan @18: Insomnia can be difficulty falling asleep, but it can also be difficulty staying asleep long enough to be well rested the next day. Both are classified as insomnia. Sometimes when I wake up at 3 am and can't go back to sleep, an orgasm helps me sleep. If it's later than 5 am, my partner doesn't mind if I wake him up for sex, and then sometimes I can get another hour of sleep afterward. So it may be that the wife feels rushed and focused on chores later in the day partly because she's been a useless blob all day because of her tiredness, and an orgasm during her sleepless times could help increase her sleep total -- that is, it's not as simple as saying "have sex later." But he is not available to be her dick-on-call at 4 am, so she needs to take care of it herself. Maybe sometimes the buzz of a vibrator will wake him up and turn him on, which would be a bonus for her . . . but if he always sleeps through it, still no problem: she's addressing her own needs instead of expecting her deep-sleeping husband to wake up to take care of them.
Oct 20, 2016 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love.
Jina, your story @43 -- The camp counselor story is terrifying. So glad that the head counselor was there that night.
Mar 19, 2016 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love.
LavaGirl @108 Yes, of course it was a kind gesture on Dan's part. I wasn't suggesting it wasn't. Just was curious about the actual numbers involved and am something of a stickler for precision.
Mar 18, 2016 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love.
LavaGirl @68:
Yes, we do know that Dan paid for the $60 "friend" level, because, as nartweag pointed out @52, the website states that "All members first join as Friends."
Mar 17, 2016 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love.
BiDanFan @23: "A thousand bucks is a LOT of money."
I had to look it up, out of curiosity not only about the price but also about the delights available to people who don't live in the Bible Belt. ~sigh~ Anyway, the membership price for a "friend" is a mere $60/year. The high-dollar amounts are only for higher membership levels (Premium Gold is $750/year and Premium Platinum $1500/year -- The fact that POWER chose to focus on the "extra grand lying around" option rather than the modest $60 "Friend" option does seem to lend a bit of support to MonkeyFetish's read on the situation.
Oct 7, 2015 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: She Can't Unread That.
@30, @32, @39 -- yes, I read that essay when it was published a few weeks ago, and my overall impression was that the husband had really done a nice head job on the writer. It sounds like he's basically asexual (assuming that he's not getting action elsewhere) and has convinced the writer that he is not asexual, simply very-very unattracted to her. But if he were truly interested in sex but not attracted to her, he would either (1) divorce her; (2) cheat on her; or (3) turn out the lights and lose himself in fantasy. It seems cruel to make her feel unattractive.
Jun 18, 2015 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: His Ex-Girlfriend's Texts.
Seems to me that the commentariat is giving the bf too much of a pass on legitimately being a "nice guy." Reread LW's description of his pre-LW relationship with this woman: they were fucking, and he had come to the conclusion that she did not have long-term potential. He may or may not have told her that she was fuckable but not dateable or dateable but not marriageable, but either way he went along content to keep fucking while knowing that she felt *a lot* more for him than he did for her. Given that, and that for all we know she thought it was "a relationship" whereas he thought it was a FWB situation, then he might have some cause to feel guilty for throwing her over so suddenly for the LW. Again, this wouldn't be the worst example of the selfishness of which a late-teens or early-twenties dude might be capable, but a 30-year-old: this is very selfish behavior, very cavalier with the emotions of the ex, and if he feels a teensy bit guilty, he's more likely to continue texting with her. Planned Barrenhood @62 sums it up: "Beware of a man when every woman around him seems crazy."
Jun 17, 2015 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love.
vennominon @8, I think that EricaP was referring not to MM couples specifically but to "fall[ing] in love with a woman and dump[ing your spouse] even without having explicit permission to start having sex with women" -- that does indeed happen a lot, though it would perhaps still be difficult for one woman to break up a dozen couples by teatime tomorrow (charmingly put, by the way).
Apr 28, 2015 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Photo Play.
Am I the only woman who thinks that women in general are a little bit weird when it comes to a sex toy never being put anywhere ever again in anyone ever except the specific person's specific orifice for which it was originally purchased and sanctified? I will admit that I have never shared a sex toy or used a hand-me-down (other than furtively humping my mom's non-penetrative back massager, covered in a towel, when I was a teenager) . . . but I think I could make my peace with using a sterilized sex toy that is not fresh out of the box (I mean, I wouldn't buy it off of eBay, but something that a partner has already as part of a collection? sure). I'm willing to allow penises in my vagina, and they have been in other vaginas. Ladies who only get with ladies, those fingers (and that tongue) -- guess what! -- have been inside other ladies, too. And as for this particular dildo being made of glass? Pffffft! You can honest-to-god sterilize the hell out of glass -- no worries whatsoever about porosity.

So OK, I can see having problems with the husband not asking to use her dildo, but all of these comments about "No, never again, dildos are pair-bonded for life with the original purchase" seem silly to me.
Dec 10, 2014 ManxsomeFoe commented on Savage Love.
@45: I read that as a joke, because it's in the context of hyphen-confusion.

Thanks, uncreative, for your thoughtful description of your experience. For those still trying to wrap your head around what uncreative is saying, I will note that the comment about how being called girl/woman/lady/etc was grating or irritating, reminded me of how, when I was married, being called "Mrs. __________" made me feel icky every single time. Every single time, but that was an "accurate" name for me, until I got divorced and got my real name back. And I know people who hate it when people still call them by the nickname they were known by 20 years ago. If you can think of parallels that have nothing to do with gender, it will help to imagine the experience. People don't like being referred to with terms that don't fit their felt, internal sense of identity, whether that's a pronoun, a "Mrs.," a nickname, or whatever.