Yeah, it's a copy of that.

Kevin_BGFH
San Francisco, California
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Jul 25 Kevin_BGFH commented on Savage Love.
Anyone know what's going on with Dan's blog? There hasn't been a post there in over a week. Unless I'm somehow missing them?
Jul 16 Kevin_BGFH commented on Child Rape, Inc.—Still Open For Business!.
Yes. The Church attracted people who are sexually stunted or sex-phobic for whatever reasons.

Also, people who are repressing their sexual urges -- even if they are perfectly traditional heterosexual urges -- will very often be forced to act out those urges. And they will do so with whomever they can find who are vulnerable to predators (like young altar boys).

Pope Francis himself noted that the Catholic Church didn't demand celibacy for its priests until about 900 years after its founding. The argument has been that priests and nuns should be married to the Church. (Can one not have multiple loyalties -- God, country, and family?)

But it should be remembered that celibacy and chastity are two different things. People assume, incorrectly, that celibacy means you can't have sex. Technically, though the word has probably evolved, celibacy simply means you can't marry, while chastity means you can't have sexual relations. Presumably, Catholic priests are bound by both. But you can imagine a religion that prohibits its priests to marry (to prevent divided loyalties) but allows them to have sex, perhaps in ritualized manners. And in Orson Scott Card's science fiction universe, his priests were chaste without being celibate -- they could marry but they couldn't have sex. Another indication of his broken, twisted psyche.
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Jul 2 Kevin_BGFH commented on Crossword Spoiler Alert.
In the words of Joe Biden: "That's a big fucking deal."

Congratulations!
Jun 25 Kevin_BGFH commented on Savage Love.
The bar I hang out in the most has the largest number of lesbian patrons of all of the LGBT bars in the city (as opposed to the strictly lesbian bars). It also tends to be the most ethnically diverse as well. It's the type of place where a straight couple wanting to have a 3-way (with either another woman or another man) would be pretty welcome. But I would advise against doing the same thing in a predominantly lesbian bar.
Jun 13 Kevin_BGFH commented on SL Letter of the Day: Just Out.
Of course, knowing where you are would help.

If there's a major metropolitan city nearby, chances are they have gay political clubs, gay athletic groups, gay theater companies. Some cities have speed dating, mixers and socials, and events for youth and young adults (usually for under 25s). Gay clubs for all sorts of hobbies. I was once in a gay men's science fiction and fantasy book club. If he's in college, there are probably tons of other options.

As for "not being into the bar scene" ... well, what does he mean by that? Is he thinking of bars as a meat market, where guys are only there to hook up and not date? They are what you make of them, and I've known plenty of guys who met boyfriends in bars and even in bathhouses, for that matter. If he's not much of a drinker, he could still check local gay bar listings to see which ones are having drag shows or male strippers or whatever his thing is, so that there's more to do than drink. Most gay bars have different charity fundraisers that can be a lot of fun for non-drinkers, and not so much a meat market as they are a meet market. Try learning how to play pool. Even if you don't drink (and aren't an ex-drinker that needs to avoid the temptation), bars can be a social outlet and a way to meet guys socially without immediately hooking up.

And if you're in a smaller town with fewer options ... online doesn't work for everyone, but it does work for some. My mother met her husband of now 25 years through an ad in a print newspaper. If the online sites you're using are more hookup oriented, and that's not what you want, keep trying others. When I worked for Gay.com, it was interesting how it would be used very differently in different parts of the country. Some cities would have a disproportionate amount of one ethnicity or another -- disproportionate to that city, even. Some cities would have very social groups that would have meet-ups in coffee shops and do other social, non-sexual things together. And others were very quickie-sex oriented. Try online sites that aren't strictly match-making sites -- sites that are discussions for whatever your hobbies or interests are, especially if it's a gay site for those interests, or has an LGBT chat room or discussion board.

And even if you don't meet Mr. Right in any of these places, you may make other LGBT friends who may invite you to parties, etc., where you can meet more of their LGBT friends. The more you socialize with other LGBT people, the more likely you'll meet someone to date.
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Jun 12 Kevin_BGFH commented on Why Can't Hillary Answer the Question?.
@1 -- Obama was slower to evolve than I would have liked. But you have to admit that when Biden and then Obama announced their support for same-sex marriage, things immediately started to snowball. And I don't think it was a coincidence, nor entirely of them jumping onto an already run-away bandwagon (to mix a metaphor), though that was part of it. A huge part of it was that they provided political cover for those who supported same sex marriage but were too scared to be public about it. Once that cover was there, politicians were falling over themselves to agree.
Jun 12 Kevin_BGFH commented on SL Letter of the Day: You Are Just the Sweetest Thing....
I agree with Dan and with @1.

One of my life regrets is not sleeping with someone when I could have.

When I was first coming out of the closet, I had that that don't-have-sex-too-soon-if-you're-interested-in-dating mindset. I went out on a date with this super cute guy. I was really into him and decided not to sleep with him, with the idea that if I slept with him too soon, he wouldn't want to date me. We went on another date and then he broke it off. I so regretted not having sex with him when I could have. Not that it would have kept him. Not not having sex with him didn't keep him, either, and at least I would have had a chance to sleep with this super cute guy that I still think about occasionally more than two decades later.

I have gay friends who've been together for over 20 years now, legally married since 2008 (that brief window in California before Prop. 8 temporarily shut down the same sex nuptials). They met in a bathhouse, and the guy who bottomed thought the sex was so great that he decided to exchange phone numbers. And names.

Sleeping together right away doesn't necessarily scare off the other guy. Not sleeping with them right away doesn't ensure they'll stick with you. And with the former approach, at least you got to see 'em naked, right?
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Jun 11 Kevin_BGFH commented on Anti-Defamation League Slaps Down Towering Douchebag and Christian Persecution Fantasist Tony Perkins.
I'm sure he thinks the Holocaust is the fault of Jewish people because if they had just found Christ and converted to Christianity, they would have been fine.
Jun 7 Kevin_BGFH commented on About That Hate Crime I Committed at University of Chicago.
I went to U.C. Berkeley in the '80s. I ran with some uber-uber-left political circles where, being gay helped offset my white male cisgender privilege (though somehow I was still more privileged than the white male cisgender STRAIGHT guys), even though they grew up in middle class suburbia and I grew up without electricity or indoor plumbing. In those uber-uber-left circles, everyone professed to support the gays while somehow thinking that being a white gay male was the pinnacle of political power, even more than straight guys.

This sort of bullshit drove me batshit crazy and essentially drove me out of the political limelight.

I have never witnessed anywhere near this level of backlash about the IOP’s hosting of speakers like Rick Santorum, a former lawmaker who has actively used his power to disenfranchise and marginalize virtually all non-heterosexual, non-cisgender, non-male, non-white individuals. It baffles me to think that a longtime LGBTQ activist’s use of certain language, almost exclusively in a historical context, is somehow worse than a powerful politician’s dedicated actions to suppress the entire LGBTQ community, and his advocacy of said actions at our university.

This drives me up the fucking wall. If you think that Dan Savage is worse than Rick Santorum, if Savage is worth protesting but Santorum is not, get some fucking perspective. If you think the "It Gets Better" campaign has done more harm than good, you're a fucking liar. Put some up stats or even some carefully argued anecdotes, or shut the fuck up.

I've been reading Dan since his earlier "Hey, Faggot" days. It has become very clear that there are certain uber-uber-left elements that are so bent on painting him as the worst thing since Hitler that they have come to the conversation with an agenda and will never try to engage in a meaningful dialog.
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Jun 6 Kevin_BGFH commented on Reading the Obits.
I always read every word of the obits of my local gay press first, both to discover the sad news of acquaintances who have passed and to pay respect to the lives of people I never knew. I sometimes turn to the obits of our main paper, too, mainly to see if there are names of friends of my parents or grandparents (and periodically, there are). Sadly, last year I actually had to write two obituaries, something I had never done before and hope to not have to do in the near future.
 
 

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