Kevin_BGFH
San Francisco, California
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May 21 Kevin_BGFH commented on RuPaul's Drag Race Recap: "Your Pilot's On Fire" Reminds Us RuPaul Is Savage and No One Is Safe.
I have said the exact same thing about having Mystique's power.
May 14 Kevin_BGFH commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: She Wants to Flash You Without Being Creepy About It.
@5 - Many years ago, I heard of a case where a man was arrested for being naked in his home after a woman complained that her young sons *might* have seen him naked. She didn't say the kids *did* see him naked, only that they might have. Case was thrown out after it came out that the only window through which she could see into his apartment required standing on a chair in her closet.

@ 3 - I'm not sure her fantasies are about violating consent. That is, I'm not convinced that it's about "unwitting" people seeing her. It may be about her not having control over who sees her. They're consenting to see her but she doesn't get to decide who does and does not see her. In which case, a webcam *might* fulfill those fantasies. But it might be too removed, too. So the swingers club might be an option that works for her, or a nude beach (especially one where nudity is permitted but not frequently done, so she still has the possibility of being the only one naked), or a trusted partner or friend arranging for a party where she's shown off, etc.

I get the inappropriateness of violating other people's consent in participating in the kinks, but I think there are ways she can still fulfill her fantasies without doing so. I'd love for her to write back and elaborate.
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May 13 Kevin_BGFH commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Reader Advice Round-up.
Regarding Planned Parenthood's federal grant money....

I'm not discounting the rest of LW's cautions around hiring a team of lawyers to decentralize, but it's my understanding that the reason PP's funding has been upheld by the courts in the past is because the funding isn't grant money. It's medical reimbursements from Medicare or similar funding, and the courts have ruled that the government cannot lawfully refuse that reimbursement for Planned Parenthood doing any lawful procedure that they would reimburse other agencies for. I could be wrong here, or my terminology may be messed up. But I think it's important to recognize that there isn't a line item in the budget earmarked specifically for Planned Parenthood, and that's why Republicans have always had a hard time trying to deny funding for them. It doesn't come from a discretionary expenditure, it comes from a lawful reimbursement.
May 11 Kevin_BGFH commented on Welcome to Texas, Where Fewer Foster Homes Helps More Children and Protecting Kids Means Denying Them Life-Saving Vaccines.
@4 - Yes, there are a lot of left-wing anti-vaxxers. But there are also a lot of right wing anti-vaxxers, too. Too many people (even Neil DeGrasse Tyson) make it this false equivalency -- right wingers deny climate change but left wingers deny vaccines. And it's not a fair comparison because unlike chlimate change denialists, antivaxxers span the spectrum but it sure seems that progressives are the most vocal about being pro vaccination. In the last election, Trump, Johnson, and Stein all pandered to antivaxxers and only Clinton as unequivocal in supporting vaccinations.
May 6 Kevin_BGFH commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Her Boyfriend Isn't a Sex Addict. He's a Loser..
My ex and I had an open relationship. They problem wasn't the openness but how compulsive he was about constantly seeking out new sex partners to the point where it was impacting our lives. He'd seek out excuses to leave an event early, claiming a headache, only to pursue sex with me or others after immediately being mysteriously "better" after we left. I don't like to use the term "sex addict" because it immediately creates defensiveness and arguing over the terminology rather than the issues involved. But regardless what you call it, when compulsiveness and obsessiveness around sex is negatively impacting you and your partner's life, it's an issue.
Apr 19 Kevin_BGFH commented on Old, Schooled: Fox News Fires Bill O'Reilly.
@1 - Yes, true. What employer wouldn't dump an employee for whom they had to pay $13 MILLION in harassment claims? And yet Fox paid that money and seemed happy enough to keep doing so until the news went public and advertisers got skittish.

If there's a bright spot, maybe we're slowly getting to the point where harassment claims will be taken more seriously.
Apr 4 Kevin_BGFH commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Blow, Blowing, Blown.
I had a friend in college, a nice Christian boy who despite getting frequent blowjobs from his high school girlfriend claimed to still be saving his virginity for marriage. Same argument is used for only doing anal. PIV was the only thing that counted as "sex" regardless whether or not there was an orgasm. Whatever. Among some gay men like my ex, it wasn't "sex" unless anal was involved.

These splitting hairs always seemed to be about either a false sense of "purity" or a demand to go farther than one wanted to in the moment. Blargh. If you're naked and having fun, it's sexual. If it's sexual, it's sex.
Mar 16 Kevin_BGFH commented on Savage Love.
In fetish circles, "sissy" isn't used synonymously with "gay." It refers to men (generally self-described straight) who are into "forced" feminization -- men "forced" to dress in drag. Sometimes pegging, cuckolding, or "forced" bisexual activities are included, but it varies.
Mar 14 Kevin_BGFH commented on CBO: 24,000,000 Americans Will Lose Health Insurance Under Trumpcare.
@1 - Yes, it was about fucking with his legacy (now) and trying not to give him any wins (back when it passed and was implemented). But also, an even bigger reason that GOP members of Congress want to repeal it is because it includes the first tax on the 1% in decades. And for some, it's an excuse to attack Medicaid as well. They really want to repeal the tax but everything else is a pretext. I suspect that if they could get rid of the tax on the wealthiest and leave everything the same, they would -- but they can't because they spent the last seven years demonizing everything about the ACA *except* the tax.