It's not very popular.

Jul 30 slinky commented on Savage Love.
Hey BESTS, do you actually LIKE your friend? Not just wanting to bone him, but do you LIKE him?

Because he's asked you to stop with the sex stuff. You should stop with the sex stuff, not because he may or may not be cheating on his girlfriend, he may or may not be homophobic, but because he asked you to. If you keep on trying to slide on by/in, then you're not showing any respect for him or for what he's asked you to do.

Don't be one of those dudes whose boner is more important than treating friends decently, even if those friends are hot and ambiguously into you.

Back off, and if he tries being drunk and flirty again, disengage gently. You don't have to be ugly, just, you know, you gotta go to the bathroom, and then maybe you have something in the morning but I'll see you Saturday. If he does it again, wait until you're both sober and then you can say, dude, WTF? Gently. Nicely.

Because you're his friend, right? And you like him and enjoy being his friend, right?
Jun 12 slinky commented on Fuck Off, Texas.
@ 45:

"As a lifelong Texan....Bless your heart."

<3

I live inside the Loop. Bill White losing the governorship largely because Good Hair pointed and said LIBBRUL! is one of the saddest things that could have happened. I lived in Houston before White, moved away, came back after White, and was stunned at how much of a transformation one person's leadership could make. I am really sorry I couldn't see what sort of work he could have done on the state level, after seeing what he did in a city where one out of every four Texans lives.

On the topic of where to live and dealing with racist homophobic neckbearded troglodytes, nice things are hard work and if I want nice things, I'd better be prepared to bust my ass to get them. Non-discrimination laws are nice things and a HUGE number of folks showed up in red shirts (insert obligatory star trek joke) to get one passed in Houston. Finally. Public transit is a nice thing; Houston is working on it and the metroplex has got a useful one in the DART. Fair tax valuation for everybody (especially in a state that goes by property taxes) is a nice thing--hence the reason behind Harris County challenging the surveys and assessments that allows corporations to pay as low as 62 cents on the dollar of tax valuation, and county officials in Harris County (Houston) pushing for major reforms in property valuation. Houston is still pretty conservative and yet this is happening.

There are a lot of bible-thumping blowhards. There's also a lot going on too. Don't hit all of us with the same black brush. We need all the help we can get.

As for Good Hair:

Perry said, "I may have the genetic coding that I'm inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way."

Did The Coiffed One just come out on CNN?
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Mar 21 slinky commented on Boy Pussy Gets Its Anthem.
@GasparFagel #27, I live in the 713. When our musicians hit, they hit it clear out of the park (Beyonce, Nate Cole, Robert Earl Keen, Kenny Rogers, ZZ Top, Blue October) and when they miss, boy howdy do they ever miss.
Mar 12 slinky commented on Savage Love.
My sympathies to LW #1, but I do have to say this:

Yes, you promised "sickness and in health" at your vows. But then, you were the one who moved out. You also mentioned keeping separate households, and driving one another crazy when you were living together.

Let's be clear, here. You are ill, and you are not going to get better. At least at some level, are you wanting your wife to be a primary caretaker? When you have trouble even living together in the same house for a long time? After you moved out and sort of kind of not quite really de facto ended the marriage....you want to hold together, and....then what?

Is it the comfort and company you want? Maybe it's both.

If you can't live together healthy, if you can't keep yourselves together in one piece as a couple when you are healthy, it's not going to magically get better now that you are ill. Being a primary caretaker, whether it's of very young children or a frail and dying person, is REALLY rough on a person. It is mentally and frequently physically exhausting. Truly, honestly: is your wife going to be able to care for you without hating and resenting you the entire time? Or checking out of the marriage entirely, even if you never sigh divorce papers? Because that's a recipe for YOU not getting the care you need when you are dying, and that may mean the difference between a death with more pain and suffering than necessary, or as comfortable and pain-managed illness and death as possible under the circumstances.

You need to talk to your wife, and you need to level with her, and soon. Kindly, I hope, and maybe in front of a counsellor. Before that, though, I hope you can tease out what, exactly, you are looking for, and what you hope to get out of the marriage for the future.

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Feb 26 slinky commented on Savage Love.
IQAH---you're on a train to Breakupville. You tried monogamish, it didn't work for him. You want a kind of sex you just cannot get from him, and barring something drastic, never will. You're already thinking of moving out, and you don't like living with him because of cleanliness, maturity, and alcohol issues.

So you're sexually incompatible, and you're domestically incompatible. This is one of those situations where DTMFA is too harsh, because this is normal everyday people stuff. More like, Leave Now While You Still Like One Another.

HOPE--first, go find a counsellor or a therapist. Depression is like a thick nasty fog that obscures everything you do. Unless and until you start learning how to manage your depression (including diet and exercise, cognitive behavioural therapy, medication, or some combination of the above), everything you try to do will be self-sabotaged by your depression-based JerkBrain. If you're low on fund, you may be able to find a support group or a self-help book to get you started.

Also, go check out Dr. Nerdlove. He's made a cottage industry of offering self-help and dating advice to people exactly in your situation.
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Jan 31 slinky commented on SL Letter of the Day: Fucking the Boss, Take 2.
@43, yes I was talking about comic book Loki, but Norse Loki is still somebody I would not want to fuck for the same reasons: deceitful, manipulative, and dangerous to know.

I mean, there's a point beyond which even though they'd probably be an earthshatteringly good (literally!) lay, you can find somebody who will give you a Merely Very Excellent lay and save yourself all the bother.
Jan 31 slinky commented on SL Letter of the Day: Fucking the Boss, Take 2.
@33, Loki isn't kinda cute, he's definitely the hotter of the two and he's also the lying, self-absorbed, manipulative, controlling sack of shit of the two. Fun to watch, and even more fun to PUNY GOD but to fuck? Nope.

As far as documentation, there's lawsuit, and then there's privately going to HR on your exit interview with a documented pattern and saying, "look guys, you have a problem here. Here are all the things that happened HERE, and here are all the things that happened after." Big difference.

This creeper is going to creep on unless and until it is made impossible for him to creep on his employees, and HR can't do anything about it if they don't know about the situation. LW can't do anything about the fact that this guy has creeped on him, but he may be able to do something about this guy creeping on other people.

And I am saying this from the point of view of somebody who has been overtly sexually harassed by a serial sexual harasser (who was eventually kicked to the curb after he did something fiendishly inappropriate), and also after having worked with somebody who was creepy and I'd never be in a room alone with him but who knew exactly where the line was and did not cross it.
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Jan 31 slinky commented on SL Letter of the Day: Fucking the Boss, Take 2.
@Venomminion no you are most certainly NOT the only person who thinks an after-the-new-job-is-secured bonk is a bad, bad, bad idea.

Whether he holds the power of LW being able to live indoors and eat hot food or not, Boss has already shown himself to be abusive and creepy and he retaliates like a five-year-old when he doesn't get what he wants. That's not somebody you want to fuck, even if they are insanely hot. There's a reason Thor is the love interest in the movies, not Loki.
Jan 30 slinky commented on Gracie Gets a Little Brother, MSNBC Yanks a Tweet, RWNJ Has a Ragegasm.
@42, what 44 said, plus those are Beefmaster herefords....the most common breed 'round these here parts.

Although you see some black cattle and some white cattle here, red cattle are most common in Texas because of the climate. The sun is harsh and unforgiving, desperately hot for the black-coated animal and white-coated animals develop skin conditions.
Jan 30 slinky commented on SL Letter of the Day: Fucking the Boss, Take 2.
Okay.

Point the first: this is, as others have said, textbook sexual harassment. Unwanted sexual solicitations? Yep. Work repercussions for turning down those solicitations? Yep. Hostile environment? Yep. And...you wanting to fuck him? Honestly, that's not surprising. He's playing a power game with you. It's normal to want to play a power game right back. But don't. It will backfire like whoa.

Point the second: LW is a young dude. Women learn early that Creepy Creepers will Creep On Them...I think I was 9 the first time I got creeped on by a grown man. There are creepy creepers who will creep on dudes, but they're not quite so pervasive as the creepers who creep on women. So guys don't put two and two together when they are sexually harassed, and recognise it for what it is, in the same way women do. By the way, LW, you are not the first dude I know who has been creeped on by his (supposedly-straight) male superior. And you are not the first dude who didn't recognise it as straight-up sexual harassment. Now you know.

Point the third: so, yeah, the boss is hot. The boss has also already proven to you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he will abuse your trust, abuse his power, and abuse your good nature in order to get his rocks off. Those are huge, glaring red flags no matter what kind of relationship one is in. Hot doesn't make up for dangerous. This man has control over your ability to live indoors and eat hot food, and depending on what profession you are in, may have the power to deny you living indoors and eating hot food for a LONG time. Do not give him an inch more power than he already has (aka do not fuck the boss), because he has already proven to you that if you give an inch, he will take a mile.

So, what you do now? Do like the others said, and document, document, document. Keep a journal. If you think he's escalating, then get your journal entries notarised once every week. If it's got a notary public stamp on it, it addresses the "but you just made this up now" in a very firm way. Don't be alone with the boss (even in the men's room), don't be friendly--polite and professional, yes, friendly, no--and don't talk about this with ANYBODY until you have a new job or some other way out. And then, get out and give notarised copies of your journal to HR.

Meanwhile:

DO NOT FUCK THE BOSS. Repeat that until it's in your head.

Whack it all you want while thinking about fucking the boss, but DO NOT FUCK THE BOSS. There is no thoughtcrime. There is not really any cognitive dissonance between being creeped out by a sexual harasser, thinking somebody is physically attractive, and having a fantasy that puts you in control. So go ahead and whack in private and meanwhile do not fuck the boss.

Or you could find a kind, willing gentleman on Grindr who will be happy to roleplay your boss, and while you're fucking that kind, willing gentleman like you'd like to fuck your boss, you are not fucking the boss. Hopefully the kind willing gentleman from Grindr enjoys himself, and you take the physical pressure off in more ways than one.

But really, do not even be alone in a room with your boss. And definitely don't be alone with him with clothing off.
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