I have been in a situation that was similar to that of JFJ, only mine was with an ex. I was very upfront with him about how I had no feelings for him but really wanted his friendship, and for a while he acted like, even though he did have feelings for me, that was okay. Then all of a sudden he would act cold and say I was "using him". I told him that if he needed time that I would leave him alone until we could be friends again, but he refused to take the responsibility of leaving, though he did say I was "hurting him" by talking to him. Eventually, I realized that I had to be the one to step up, because, even though it's his responsibility, he was never going to. I had to protect him, because I do care about him, just not as a romantic partner. So I no longer carry on a friendship with him, but I hope that one day he will be over me and we can be friends again. I advise JFJ to do the same thing I did. But don't feel bad. If you've been upfront, then it's not your fault. But if you can see it's still hurting him, but he won't take responsibility, be the bigger person and leave him alone, at least for a while.