Not enough like Twitter.

in the past few hours Ricardo commented on The Morning News: Parks, Uzis, Tweets, Assholes.
@ 19 - It's not the water in the milk he's talking about, it's the water needed to produce almonds.
in the past few hours Ricardo commented on The One Admirable Thing About Bigots.
@ 1 - Those groups often overlap.
2:47 PM yesterday Ricardo commented on Can You Spot the Historical Inaccuracy In the Preview for Ridley Scott's New Biblical Epic?.
@ 21 - Are you sure it's "most" of America? Doesn't look like it from the news we get.
1:00 PM yesterday Ricardo commented on Can You Spot the Historical Inaccuracy In the Preview for Ridley Scott's New Biblical Epic?.
@ 12 - Rudolph Valentino as The Sheik in 1921 is an earlier example.
12:29 PM yesterday Ricardo commented on Joan Rivers Has a Heart?.
@ 4 - Throatlift. Her face has already been lifted to maximum capacity.
10:56 AM yesterday Ricardo commented on SL Letter of the Day: Innocent Virgins.
@ 18 - You missed a 70s sex classic - Xaviera Hollander's The Happy Hooker. My parents had a copy of it, and as soon as my English was good enough (age 12, year 1978), I read the whole thing, and discovered everything I needed to know about sex but was afraid to ask. And I do mean everything.

Of course, it was a cheap exploitation book, but in the end, it says a lot about human (sexual) nature, and her attitude towards sex and sexual orientation also helped me tremendously in accepting my being gay and kinky in an environment that was extremely hostile to both.
Aug 27 Ricardo commented on Savage Love.
@ 69 - I said "after the third fuck with a given sex partner" (in the context of commenting on a letter about the beginning of a relationship), not "every third fuck".

As far as the frequency issue goes, as I said, it depends on the people involved. I don't see how you could set up a universal rule. But if someone only does it out of love or generosity, it can't be too much fun anyway.
Aug 27 Ricardo commented on Savage Love.
@ 60 - You mean to tell me that you're not actually a donut shop? I'm so disappointed.
Aug 27 Ricardo commented on Savage Love.
@ 56 - Sorry, but how did you get the impression that I was talking about frequency? It's up to the partners to decide what's ok for them. If they both enjoy something, they'll be happy to do it regularly enough so that both are satisfied. This, of course, implies that if they don't do it regularly enough for both to be satisfied, maybe one of them isn't as much into it as s/he says s/he is.

What I was talking about are the three Ds that Dan mentioned. You disclose the kink, you downplay it, but if by the third sexual "episode" your new partner has not indulged you or brought it up again, it's never going to happen, so you drop him/her if that kink is a crucial part of your personal sex life.

No judgement there towards the non-kinky or those who simply have other kinks than yours, since no one has an obligation to share your kinks. But if you are honest enough to divulge your kinks, you deserve an honest answer.

Unfortunately, too often, I've met people who assured me they wanted to explore my kinks (as I'm always willing to explore theirs as long as they're safe and sane), when in fact they had no intention whatsoever to do so. I waited, and waited, and waited some more (not wanting to PPP about the pee pee pee, so to speak). Then I got tired and asked them about it, and they admitted they'd just said that because they hoped that I would eventually forget about it. Apparently, they thought of themselves as such great persons that I would be willing to make a sacrifice for them even though they weren't even willing to make an effort for me - even if that effort was only being honest with me. So I dropped them, because they were fucking liars.

If they hadn't lied to me, we could have become occasional fuck buddies - my kinks have not taken over my whole sexuality. But they wanted to be more than fuck buddies, they wanted to be my BF, and they thought that lying was the best way to get there. Since, in my experience, a liar is and always will be a liar, out the door they went.

I am not ashamed of my kinks, I enjoy them, they are not going away (they've been a part of my sexuality since early adolescence), and I deserve to be with people who'll enjoy them with me. And my rule of thumb, from abundant experience, is that by the third fuck, you know if the other person is or isn't willing to go there with you.

So, to get back to my original point, I don't think the DDD rule is a good one.

Please note that this might not apply to people under 30, say, who might still find it difficult to accept or explore their kinks. But I'm almost 49 and I date guys around my age, give or take ten years. And if you haven't figured out by that age what you're into, what you might be into or what you're absolutely not into... you're just too much work for me. And you're not likely to be honest about it all.

More...
Aug 27 Ricardo commented on Savage Love.
I've done the DDD thing, and "foolproof" it most definitely isn't.

If your kink is in any way important to your sexual enjoyment and it ain't happening after the third fuck with a given sex partner, the last D should apply to said partner.
 
 

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