Jan 17 Ricardo commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Lifelong Straight Guy Wants To Recreate Magical Gay Sex He Once Had With Smooth Guy Whose Queeny Ways Appealed to Him.
@ 39 - I get your point about putting oneself in danger, but still: has that sort of "rebellion" ever achieved anything other than confirming stereotypes? In what way is it a rebellion, then?

And just so you know: I'm neither particularly masculine nor feminine, and I got beat up and bullied all throughout grade school and part of high school precisely because I was neither. The more feminine guys at school didn't get half the shit I got from the Neanderthals. (Incidental evidence, not to be taken as a rule.)
Jan 17 Ricardo commented on Crowd At MLK Rally Boos Cathy McMorris Rodgers.
@ 16 - "That part is so sad. She sounds like she's just starting to realize that maybe he really did mean exactly what he said and, if so, her family is going to be fucked."

I may sound totally heartless (although that's an accusation I would save for all those who actually want to take away poor people's health insurance), but I wouldn't say that's sad. I'd say it's poetic justice. Or karma.
Jan 17 Ricardo commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Lifelong Straight Guy Wants To Recreate Magical Gay Sex He Once Had With Smooth Guy Whose Queeny Ways Appealed to Him.
Bi @ 33 - Indeed, that probably was his reaction to Dan's suggestion.

The only thing that doesn't seem to be a waste of time and money to him is working on his above-average level of physical fitness and putting down everyone else.
Jan 17 Ricardo commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Lifelong Straight Guy Wants To Recreate Magical Gay Sex He Once Had With Smooth Guy Whose Queeny Ways Appealed to Him.
@ 31 - "Is someone suggesting someone hide their "masculine side"?"

Did you not read Wandering Stars' post @ 9? That's the one I was responding to.

"Straight guys getting bullied for being "faggy" are not being harassed for being gay, they are presenting a less stereotypical masculine image"

And that is precisely why I believe that masculine gay men (and their counterpart, feminine straight men) do a lot more to break down stereotypes and expectations than people who willingly try to conform to those expectations, such as gay men trying to appear more feminine than they are. I see nothing subversive in that. Neither do I see anything subversive in the behaviour of those of whichever orientation who try to appear more masculine than they are, for that matter.

What is truly subversive is being exactly who you are, with zero consideration for other people's expectations. That is the lesson WS should have taken away from his friend Topaz, IMO.

Jan 17 Ricardo commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Lifelong Straight Guy Wants To Recreate Magical Gay Sex He Once Had With Smooth Guy Whose Queeny Ways Appealed to Him.
@ 28 - If you (impersonal you) are a naturally masculine man, then it's neither "appealing to machismo"' not "affirming strict gender roles", it's just being honest about who you are. That's a virtue, in case you didn't know.

@ 29 "the idea that someone is "rebelling" by confirming to expectations is ridiculous"

Couldn't agree more. What you don't seem to realize, though, is that society's expectations of gay men is that they are feminine. Being masculine (not pretending, not "playing" macho, but actually being naturally masculine, which is what I'm talking about) goes against society's general stereotype of GAY men, and does therefore much more to defy societal expectations than trying to appear feminine when you're not (which is what Wandering Stars seems to be arguing for: "a lot of it was kinda forced, and therefore came across as fake. Its usually the case that a femme boy is all awkward but tries to be masc- here I was a masc boy trying my damndest to be femme.")

The proposition that one should pretend to be more feminine than they are is what is really ridiculous here. All I'm advocating is being true to one's self. If you've got anything to say against that, then I'm afraid you're not "undead"; you're braindead.

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Jan 17 Ricardo commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Lifelong Straight Guy Wants To Recreate Magical Gay Sex He Once Had With Smooth Guy Whose Queeny Ways Appealed to Him.
@ 9 - One could argue that being openly gay AND very masculine is even more of a rebellion, though, since you're challenging a lot of people's preconceived notions of how gay men are supposed to be.

Personally, I think everyone should be true to themselves, wherever that puts them on the masculine/feminine spectrum. The most subversive stance of all is to not give a fuck what the rest of society thinks.
Jan 17 Ricardo commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Lifelong Straight Guy Wants To Recreate Magical Gay Sex He Once Had With Smooth Guy Whose Queeny Ways Appealed to Him.
I'm not so sure about advising him to hire sex workers. With his entitled attitude, he'd probably expect them to work for free.