myStrangerFace Yeah, it's a copy of that.

Sancho

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Mar 28 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

So, SIS's brother is going to feel like more of a man after he exploits a woman's financial necessity to get from her what he believes no one would otherwise willingly give him? In other words, substituting the power dynamic of money for what normally gives a person some degree of sexual self-confidence. With, let's not forget, his sister enabling this exploitation. Oh, yes, this is a *great* way to build a healthy future in the sex and relationships department.

Feb 20 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

Nothing in this column (okay, except maybe the threesome story) would encourage anyone to look at weddings - or marriage, for that matter - in a positive light.

Feb 12 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

Just to be a little bit contrarian about the first letter, adolescent boys have been having circle jerks and similar adolescent sex play with their friends pretty much as long as there have been adolescent boys. Somehow it doesn't seem fair to say that it's okay and normal for boys we think will grow up to live straight lives to do this, but that it's not okay when we think a boy will grow up to lead a gay life instead.

Jul 8, 2012 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

Wow. I read CBB's letter and the resulting in-depth analysis of gender power dynamics, and I'm deeply happy that (a) I haven't been an insecure college freshman for 30 years, and (b) I only ever wanted to date people of my own gender (though, speaking of that, the idea that gay men can effortlessly get laid at will, if ever true at all, only applies to certain people in certain geographic locations!). I wish him luck.

Apr 17, 2012 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

I had no idea sex was so much WORK. It's a wonder anyone ever gets laid.

Mar 24, 2011 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

@107 - well, Larry Craig was arrested for nothing more than tapping his foot in an airport bathroom stall. Surely surprising a woman in her own home with an unsolicited and unwanted offer of sexual submission is worse than THAT.

Mar 22, 2011 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

I think it's condescending to tell DRY, an adult woman nearly 30, that while she might think she doesn't like sex, she's wrong, and if she just could become educated enough to enjoy a "real" orgasm, she'd see how wrong she is.

This attitude reminds me of the smug men who declare that lesbians "just haven't met the right man", or the doctors who assure women not interested in bearing children that someday they'll change their minds. It's arrogant to "conclude" that you know more about someone than they know about themselves. I think DRY should be given credit for self-knowledge and given advice accordingly.

Mar 16, 2011 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

Part of the sex worker's art is to help the client persuade him/herself that the sex worker is actually attracted to him/her. For most people, it's not hot to imagine that the person you're with is in reality repulsed by you and is faking pleasure.

ASS used that skill to make Three believe he flirted with and slept with him out of attraction, as opposed to just wanting the money from someone else. That's deception, and it's not in the same category as pretending to be a doctor or single to get someone into bed - the person pretending to be a single doctor is still NOT lying about his/her attraction; that's why he/she lies! But pretending an interest you don't feel so someone else will pay you? That's not cool. ASS shouldn't do it again.

Mar 15, 2011 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

HD - sorry, but no sympathy here. You and your wife had something really good, but then you decided that no matter how good it was, it wasn't good enough. You basically got greedy and overreached, and now you can't un-ring the bell and go back to the way things were. That's what happens when you play grown-up games: sometimes they take us by surprise and show us that we don't know ourselves as well as we thought. You literally made your own bed, so now lie in it and stop complaining.

Sep 21, 2010 Sancho commented on Savage Love.

I was very moved by the video, I admit it.

But on the other hand, there's a certain percentage of kids viewing it that you can't help making false promises to: some gay kids are simply not going to grow up to have lives like yours. Some kids' families aren't going to accept them the way yours have; some kids are not going to end up with long-term partners (much less hot ones!); some kids aren't going to be taking vacations to Paris (or, for that matter, afford surrogate motherhood to become parents themselves).

It's certainly true that a lot of kids are really going to benefit from this video. Someday, though, you're going to hear from or about some viewers who will grow up to be disappointed and depressed when they never realize the idealized, and very lucky, model of gay life that you're presenting here. It would be more honest of you to say that, too.