myStrangerFace Achieve the Four Modernizations.

I Hate Screen Names

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I really do.

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May 21

I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.

@28: Ah, the "how can we know anything?" argument. I suppose a high-school level point is thematically appropriate. Here's a slightly higher-level rejoinder: not all possibilities are equally likely, obtaining additional information can be costly, and people accordingly need to make decisions despite lacking perfect information.

The application: the "truth" of whatever happened is lost. What matters is what she remembers/perceived and what he remembers/perceived. If his memory does not align with hers, then contacting him is likely to be very unfulfilling, for all of the reasons other posters noted. And given the near consensus, its much more likely than not that he will not agree with her. The wiser decision is thus to refrain from pinging him.

Since she's not getting an apology, she needs to obtain "closure" on her own. And the best way to do that is through reprocessing the events-- by shifting her perception. Here again, the near consensus is useful in recalibrating, particularly since it leads to a non-traumatic interpretation.

Dots connected yet?

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May 21

I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.

@18: I only guessed about her response to the boob grabbing. I don't have to guess about what the allegedly "ambiguous" incidents were: we have her words that he 1) came early during a heavy make-out session and 2) once grabbed her boob over at least two months of dating. If you read the rest of the comments, you'll see near-consensus that these are not "ambiguous" at all-- they're perfectly normal parts of adolescent sexual exploration.

That the letter writer has blown them up into a sexual trauma indicates that she is extra sensitive, and that she may be better served by recalibrating her own perceptions than demanding an apology for conduct everyone else considers not blameworthy. And that you see the incidents as "ambiguous" suggests that you may want to do the same.

May 21

I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.

@5: As Dan mentioned, embarrassing premature orgasms are part and parcel of dating at 14. Further, the fact that he grabbed her boobs once-- and they dated for two months afterwards-- actually speaks well of him. My guess is that she told him to stop and/or not do that any more, and he respected her decision. Because let me tell you, if a 14-year-old boy thought his girlfriend was OK with having her tits grabbed, he'd be grabbing those tits all the time.

I won't defend the phrase "hysterical shrew", especially given its misogynistic etymology. But I will say that a 21-year-old that holds normal-ass adolescent sexual fumblings as great psychological trauma has lived a charmed life.

May 16

I Hate Screen Names commented on SL Letter of the Day: Living Discomfortably.

How did LWIR's roommate miss the textbook play for hooking up with a roomie?

1. Get drunk together.
2. Make your move.
3. If you get turned down, attribute it to the alcohol and NEVER DO THAT SHIT AGAIN.

May 15

I Hate Screen Names commented on SL Letters of the Day: Just Say No to DSGs.

I wonder if we're seeing a rare example of female privilege? If I may summarize the comments thus far:

Lesbians: I hate those teasing straight chicks who make out with me and don't follow through.
Straight guys: That happens all the time when you make out with straight chicks. Deal.
Lesbians: But it's not faaaaaaiiir!

I'm reminded of John Hamm's indignation that his apparently sizable package may occasionally be discussed, when there have been volumes dedicated to Christina Hendricks' assets since day one. The thing that pisses John off is a daily reality to Christina...

May 15

I Hate Screen Names commented on SL Letters of the Day: Just Say No to DSGs.

Straight dude here. A girl might put her tongue in my mouth for any number of reasons, and if I'm letting a stranger do so, it's pretty clear I don't care what those reasons are. And it's equally clear that kissing me now is not a promise of sex later. I have every right to be disappointed when kissy-face girl doesn't fuck me, but being angry about it is entitled and quasi-rapist.

Apr 23

I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.

I'm a 19-year-old newbie lesbian Dom starting a relationship with a smart, sexy, wildly kinky 22-year-old. Our relationship so far could not be better. One issue: She's into latex clothes. I have a severe latex allergy, to the point where I would need to be hospitalized if she wore latex clothing. She was GGG about anal, which was something I wanted to explore. I want to do this for her. Is there a good alternative to latex?

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Lesbians have anuses?

Apr 11

I Hate Screen Names commented on How Long Did You Last?.

About thirty seconds, once I heard the lead-up to "God's plan."

Someone needs to shoot an amateur gay porn set to this song.

Apr 1

I Hate Screen Names commented on SL Letter of the Day: Gay Hahaha.

@55: That's not a good analogy. I've snowboarded before and found it semi-enjoyable. I'd rather read a book, drink some scotch, or sleep than snowboard, but it was better than watching a boring movie or bicycling.

In other words, the snowboarding was kinda fun, and I'm glad I tried it, but I didn't like it enough to try it again. The fact that I didn't completely loathe snowboarding does not make me a snowboard addict in denial.

Mar 28

I Hate Screen Names commented on SL Letter of the Day: Gay Hahaha.

@41: Yeah, should probably be a four-dimensional graph. That's what I actually theorize, but I simplified to two dimensions for SLOG purposes. Most folks are not interested in thinking in n-dimensional space. :)