I Hate Screen Names
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I really do.

7:23 PM yesterday I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.
Honestly, I'm tired of this. I'm trying to explain why someone might not be comfortable calling a person by a dog's name at work. And while a few (e.g., CMD) are making reasonable arguments, the majority seem to be taking the following tactic:
1. If you disagree with me, you are necessarily a bigot.
2. Any bigot's argument is invalid.
3. Therefore, you are wrong.
Think otherwise? Consider why posters seem bound and determined to establish my supposed bigotry, when motives are entirely irrelevant to logic.

I find I no longer have the patience to wade through this kind of smug self-superiority. I'd rather head home and drink a martini.
5:47 PM yesterday I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.
@79: I suggest you stop attempting to divine my "real" motivations. I know me a lot better than you know me, and your constant ad hominem attacks make you look like an idiot.

I've never met anyone named "Spike," either as a given name or as a nickname. The only human (well, vampire) "Spike" I know is played by James Marsters, as @78 noted. Like "Spot" and "Rover," I can only conceive of it as a dog name, and expect most other people will as well. And I'm not going to call a person by a dog's name in a professional environment. As I said aaaaall the way back @28, "if you want me to use your fantasy name, then you better pick one that doesn't make me feel like a fool."

"Rex" works. So do "Max," "Charlie," "Milo," etc.-- all popular dog names that are actual human names as well.
4:25 PM yesterday I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.
@74: I'm amused that you think you know my motivations.

I don't care about his lifestyle. I don't care about whether, with whom, or how he has sex. What I care about is that *I* look less-than-professional in calling someone "Spike." Looking professional in my place of professional employment matters to me: that's why I dress and act a certain way for work. It matters to a lot of people. We can't all work in tech start-up utopias.

I'd have no problem calling him Spike at a (non-work) party. If he bought me a beer and seemed like a good bloke, I'd even go for Princess Sparkles. But on the clock, when I need to look competent and composed in front of others, I'm not going to "break character" to indulge someone's fantasy life.
3:43 PM yesterday I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.
@71: Right. So for same-sex marriage, the answer to "why is that discomfort irrelevant" is "because the social and economic benefits of being married far outweigh whatever discomfort someone has at the abstract concept of same-sex marriage. Makes sense to anyone who isn't a homophobe.

But that's not the situation with silly names, is it? One person is more comfortable being called X. One person is less comfortable calling someone X. Why does the former always trump the latter?
3:20 PM yesterday I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.
@67: I'm not stomping my feet; I'm disagreeing. That you perceive that as "stomping" is your issue.

Why do their preferences trump my preferences? I agree people have some right to what they are called-- a "Dave" can reasonably object to being called "Mark." But I also think people have a right to use words they are comfortable with. Which is why I suggested working out a compromise if their preferred name makes me genuinely uncomfortable.

You seem to be taking the position that whatever discomfort the speaker has, and no matter how absurd the preferred name is, the speaker should just endure that discomfort in the services of the asker's whimsy. Why is that discomfort irrelevant?
2:42 PM yesterday I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.
Let's phrase this a different way: I get to choose the words that come out of my mouth. Demanding that I use words that I'm uncomfortable using is an asshole move, whatever the origins of my discomfort. So I will never, ever refer to anyone using the N-bomb, even if they are black and insist they like it. I will never refer to a grown woman (who is not my wife or daughter) as "sweetie," even if that's her preferred name. And yes, I'm not calling anyone "Princess Sparkle" in a professional environment. Because I am the owner of everything I say.

In the case of someone who hates their given name, I'm willing to work with them to arrive at some accommodation, e.g. Mr./Ms. Smith, or their initials, or some alternate less-cringe-inducing variant. But I get to choose the words that come out of my mouth, not Princess Sparkle.
Jun 22 I Hate Screen Names commented on Savage Love.
Agree with @26. I'd feel ridiculous calling a co-worker "Spike" or "Rover" or what have you. Just like I'd feel ridiculous calling a co-worker "Princess Sparkle" or ""Rough Rider." Indulging someone's fantasy life is a bridge too far, regardless of whether that fantasy life includes a sexual component.

Sorry DOGGONE, but if you want me to use your fantasy name, then you better pick one that doesn't make me feel like a fool. Otherwise I'll stick to "Bob" or "Mr. Smith."
Jun 14 I Hate Screen Names commented on The Orlando Shooter Might Have Been a Twisted Closet Case.
Are we sure he was a self-loathing homophobe? What if he was like Elliot Rodger-- pissed off that he couldn't get laid due to his toxic personality?

Just a thought.
Jun 9 I Hate Screen Names commented on Canadian Supreme Court: Coming In Sheep Is a Crime.
Since we're getting to the jokes:
A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality.

"I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive and doesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he continued, "who's not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how to pick a jury."

The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his testimony.

"I saw Jed mount his sheep from behind," he said, "and when he was finished, I saw the sheep turn around and lick Jed's pecker."

The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up hope until a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, "You know, a good sheep will do that."