Jul 19 sfguy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My 13-Year-Old Son Is Watching Gay Porn.
I look back to when I was that age and knew next to nothing about real sex beyond the crap they taught at school: it's a dangerous, sinful, repulsive thing and then you get married and it's instantly beautiful and the ultimate expression of love.

Seriously, though, there's some pretty extreme porn that's very readily accessible and if, as a 13 year-old, I saw that and thought THAT was what I was expected to do, I'd be a bit freaked out by it. You might want to touch on the fact that porn isn't real and that there's lots of kinds of sex.
Jan 14 sfguy commented on Savage Love.
My take on the first letter was "really?????" I live in a City with a large gay population and know plenty of white-asian gay couples. I'm married to a latino myself. I'm curious at what point a "preference" becomes a "fetish"? I've always liked latin guys, but don't fetishize them in terms of sterotypes and don't watch gay p0rn where the blacks and latinos are advertised as "thugs" since I think that whole thing is demeaning.

Could #1 be misinterpreting white guys who like him as "fetishists"? I'll admit that when I see an attractive latino it does a lot more for me than an attractive white guy, but is this a "fetish" or just simply an initial "preference"?

Dec 9, 2015 sfguy commented on When a Mass Killer Is a White Christian, He's a Lone Lunatic, but When He's Muslim, He Represents All Muslims.
I mostly agree with you, but there is a difference between terrorism and mass murder and it's not as simple as identity politics. Timothy McVeigh, and Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik were terrorists. I would argue that Dear was also a terrorist. Most mass murderers are not terrorists, though that's small consolation to the victims' families.
Nov 7, 2015 sfguy commented on Savage Love.
"" I was bored and asked for some variety, and he refused to do it." I'm calling BS. I will not believe some dude just announced "Nope! 3 Positions only!""

It doesn't go exactly like that, but I broke up with a guy after this exact same conversation. He said "OK" but then it was just same old same old. He said he "wasn't comfortable" trying anything else and by "anything else" i'm not talking fisting or scat, but something other than me behind him every single time and him resisting when trying to move him to another position.
Nov 4, 2015 sfguy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Invisible Man.
The thing about looks is that once you like someone and you get going romantically, looks and flaws melt away and all that's left is hotness. From the outside, I see lots of couples (myself and my hubby included), who I have no desire to watch engaged in the act yet if they're having half as much fun as we are then more power to them.

If you're not super buff or young, you're probably going to have a harder time getting casual sex, but in a real relationship that doesn't matter so much.
Sep 4, 2015 sfguy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: This Guy Says He Slept With Marco Rubio.
I've got to disagree with not even acknowledging someone's physical presence on a long flight. I always at least say "good morning" to my seatmate, and then put on headphones or start reading. Occasionally, someone will talk to me during snack services--which again is totally fine. I do agree, though, that if someone wants to be left alone they should be left alone. I was on flight once with Anna Deavere Smith and she looked thoroughly exhausted so I didn't say a word even though I love her in "Nurse Jackie".
May 31, 2015 sfguy commented on Supreme Court Poised to Fuck Urban America.
So are they also going to change the Senate so that states like Alabama and Wyoming with low populations won't be disproportionately represented in the Senate? Didn't think so.
Jul 3, 2014 sfguy commented on Why Public Tranportation Will Not Work Without Agressive Social Engineering.
When Transit offers time saving compared to driving, people use transit. When transit takes twice as long as driving, people don't use it. I already work a 10 hour work day. It's going to be a tough sell convincing me to trade in my reverse commute (20 minutes each way, door to door) for public transit (1 hour each way, door to door). I'm just not willing to give up 7 1/2 more hours each week to use public transit.
Sep 26, 2013 sfguy commented on Savage Love.
LW1 is right only generically regarding the intelligence factor. In my single days, I dated some guys who were dumb as stumps but great in the sack. If you're looking for a LTR, it doesn't work. If you just want fun, it's fine.

As for the money thing, while I think LW1 is arrogant, there's A LOT of relationship issues that revolve around money and denying it is asking for trouble down the road. I make 3X what my husband makes and it has caused some friction, but not about what you'd think. More about him feeling like he's not contributing as much and me having to be reassuring.

What worked for us was me saying I'd pay the mortgage and he pays the other bills, then I just pay some of them and don't tell him.

All that said, you should NEVER exclude someone from your life because you think they're beneath you in some way. Everyone has SOMETHING to offer. If you're gay, and you find true love, you're lucky. The rest of it is just noise.
Sep 18, 2013 sfguy commented on Pussy Riot '93.
I have all three and people who know me are surprised that I have the Janet Jackson album but it really is a masterpiece in its own right. Top selling pop, yes, but with an honesty and sensuality that my hubby and I still use sometimes.