Gerald Fnord
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Looking for a Seattle, Portland, or SF tech firm looking for an half-arsed polymath and… more »

Gerald Fnord


Looking for a Seattle, Portland, or S.F. tech firm looking for an half-arsed polymath and mad scientist.

More Than You Need to Know

    This or That

  • Dan Savage or Charles Mudede
  • No legs and a million dollars or A million legs and no dollars
  • Vampire or Zombie
  • Dicks or Vaginas
  • Too many teeth or No teeth at all
  • Barsuk or Fantagraphics
  • Pot or Coke
  • Zune or Segway
  • SF or LA
  • I hate living in Seattle or I wish I lived in Seattle
  • Will in Seattle or Fnarf
  • Folklife or A kick in the face while drowning in fish guts
  • Tushy or Tuchus
  • Tom Skerritt or Dave Matthews
  • Questions

  • What song do you want played at your funeral?: "Imagine Me on the Maginot Line"
  • What song do you never want to hear again?: "I Will Always Love You", W. Houston version.
  • What do you like to read when you poop?: Headline: "Gerald Fnord Gets Big Money"
  • What keeps you up at night?: The prospect of going in to my job.
  • What helps you sleep?: Pot. Codeine. Not enough of either, lately.
  • What song or movie makes you cry?: Any scene implying that there's some beautiful place where you get to meet dead loved-ones.
  • Where's your hairiest square inch?: Back, crotch. or the back (or crotch) of my head.
  • If you could bring one dead person back to life, who would it be?: Payl Wellstone.
  • What book have you read the most?: "Gravity's Rainbow"
  • What movie can you recite verbatim?: None; "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" and the English for "Yojimbo" come close.
  • What piece of art would you steal?: A conceptual piece consisting of large rubies.
  • What's your biggest grammatical pet peeve?: That the subjunctive were in decline.
  • For Trolls Only

  • What's worse: Gay marriage or black people being allowed to listen to R&B?: Blacks
  • Dan Savage started the Iraq war. Why?: Tolerating gay stuff makes God remove his Gardol (r) shield from Murka.
  • If you found out you were going to have a pit-bull baby, would you have an abortion?: Yes
  • Why are people so afraid to learn the truth about building 7?: Because they'd rather belueve exciting conspiracy garbage.
  • Where do you buy your WOW Gold?: Video games are a waste of a finite life-time.
  • What's your favorite Charles Mudede post?: The sexist one with the boobs
  • Fill in the Blank

  • God is: an artifact of the primate brain, but useful as a way of not obeying any actual alpha.

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