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Ballard Pimp
Ballard, of course!
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Keepin' my customers satisfied.


  • If you found out you were going to have a pit-bull baby, would you have an abortion?: Yes
  • Where's your hairiest square inch?: My head
  • Bring It On or Stomp the Yard
  • No legs and a million dollars or A million legs and no dollars
  • Dicks or Vaginas

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Ballard Pimp is on his freaking computer. .
May 15 Ballard Pimp commented on Why Black Slave Liberator Harriet Tubman Should Not Replace Slave Owner Andrew Jackson on the $20 Bill.
All these proposals do not take into account the advantages and flexibility of modern printing. Ot is now possible to change the picture on the $20 every week. Remember how the obverse of quarters were changed several times a year? Why not have a lottery? Every week we could buy tickets to have our ugly faces on the $20?
Apr 26 Ballard Pimp commented on I, Anonymous.
Note to headline writer: Despite what the nuns told you in parochial school, "vomitorium" is Latin for "Exit".
Apr 9 Ballard Pimp commented on Greenpeace Activists Have Barnacled Themselves to the Polar Pioneer, a Shell Oil Drilling Rig Bound for Seattle.
The usual right wing nutjobs have finished posting, so now we can decide what to do with Bob Bryant, whose campaign for governor just got flushed down a very small toilet.
Mar 11 Ballard Pimp commented on How a Bill to Roll Back Payday Lending Reforms Got One Step Closer to Being Law.
"Washington Democrats are corrupt and support their donors."

As contrasted with Republicans, who are simply evil.
Dec 20, 2014 Ballard Pimp commented on The Man in the Unitard Explains How He and His Naked Friends Got Trapped on Seattle's Great Wheel.
This is why I choose not to live in Ritzville.
Dec 1, 2014 Ballard Pimp commented on Returning Column!.
Not unless it explains why anyone reads Ayn Rand.
Oct 31, 2014 Ballard Pimp commented on Republican Senator Andy Hill Allegedly Says He's Up Against Canvassers Who Look Like "Thugs".
As one of Matt Isenhower's canvassers, what the speech means is that Aunt Andy is scared shitless that he will be out of work after next Tuesday.
Sep 9, 2014 Ballard Pimp commented on Carpenter Who Led Hunger Strike at Tacoma Detention Center Could Face Deportation.
#10, i can't let that go by. Are you really so uninformed as to ignore 1836 when the U.S. encouraged settlement of Northern Mexico by U.S. citizens (speaking of illegal immigration) and breaking off Tejanos, renaming it "Texas", and absorbing it? Or 1848 when we simply invaded and took the rest of Northern Mexico--California, Nevada, Arizona, "New" Mexico, and other odds and ends? Or 1912 to 1920, when we periodically sent our army to do the opposite of what you advise; that is, to prop up a corrupt-but-friendly despot? Or 1940, when we cut a deal to take all the agricultural workers they would send us, called "braceros", and we would send back the uppity smartasses who wanted to be paid what U.S. workers got, giving Woody Guthrie the tune to "Deportees"? That program lasted until 1966. Or maybe the support Nixon gave the PRI when it looked like a real reformer might get elected? Yeah, apart from that, we've hardly ever interfered.
Aug 6, 2014 Ballard Pimp commented on What Last Night's Primary Results Say About Seattle Voters, Parks, Jess Spear, and Olympia.
Given the amount of money the apartment owners dumped into the campaign against Prop 1 (Those "yard" signs that are mostly on public right-of-way cost $7.50 a pop) and the whispering campaign run by an as-yet-unfiled PAC, I am surprised and grateful that the voters gave the proposition a win.
Jun 24, 2014 Ballard Pimp commented on Tesco Says "Every Retailer" of Thai Prawns Is "Likely" Implicated in the Slave Trade.
Besides, there's that Leviticus thing...

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