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Feb 5 college dude from madison commented on Last Night's Broad City Was About Pegging.
@2 "pegging" is typical reserved for hetero/bi woman on hetero/bi man (I believe Dan originally left those stipulations in to hammer home the point that pegging in no way "makes" a guy gay). For two women, I believe it's just "sex" or "strap-on sex."

@8 The Feeldoe has been mentioned, and I've read/heard that it can be a bit awkward (though they do make harnesses now that make it a bit more stable). I've also heard/read that *some* harnesses for *some* woman will rub against them in a pleasurable fashion depending on body+harness synergy. YMMV.
Feb 3 college dude from madison commented on Savage Love.
Dan, I think some of your other go-to advice would have been warranted for BIBFAULT, given the limited amount of info. We know that they haven't been able to figure out how to get her off together, and that he vetoed he suggestion of "mild kinks." Unless his reluctance toward mild kink is shorthand for a general unwillingness to discuss sex and work toward a better sexual connection, (which it very well could be,) I think that there's some possibilities.

If she's dead-set on monogamy and in keeping this marriage together, I would start out with him using the vibrator on her. Maybe once he sees how sexy a mutually fulfilling sexual encounter is (and the sight of a "fulfilled" partner) he might be more open to branching out and focusing on her. He's been a lousy lay (for her) for decades because sex has never explicitly been a priority, and we don't really know if she's actually pushed him to prioritize it other than "suggesting" a few things (not to blame the "victim here, but I can't see someone who waited for marriage and trudged through decades of mediocre sex being a strong personal advocate for her own sexual needs).

As for MMSL, Dan's advice is great and a good way to conceptualize it, but I can think of some more practical advice if you have trouble getting out of your head. Next time you guys have sex, have him tie your hands or tie you to the bed. If neither of you are kinkily inclined, have the "normal"/gentle/lovemaking-type sex that typified your "thriving sex life," only with you partially mobilized. This will give you confidence that you won't be able to get caught up and accidentally hurt him. It will also be difficult to feel like a caretaker when he's explicitly in control and you're "at his mercy." Hell, being able to top you might help him build a little confidence if he's also still feeling a little broken, hopefully setting of a positive feedback loop between you two.
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Nov 20, 2014 college dude from madison commented on SL Letter of the Day: Nobody Expects the Nice Girl Inquisition!.
(Warning: shitloads of conjecture) My go-to explanation for the submissive male vs female demographic discrepancies always come back to eroticized fear.



Being a lady is generally, at least a little bit, terrifying in a very Male world. The negaative aspects of concepts like being "taken," "man-handled," and "objectified" are thrown about so much that some people's minds deal with them by turning scary patriarchal lemons into sexy, submissive lemonade. A dominant male also plays more into the hetero-normative desirability of male sexuality, so it serves as sort of a super-normative stimulus, for some.



You of course see men who are submissive, obviously, but their kinks (in general!) of shame, humiliation and insecurity, are wrapped up in fear of failing standards of cultural masculinity. Perhaps because these fears are less existentially terrifying (failing is less scary than say, rape) fewer men are prone to make those erotic leaps.



Then, on the side of the coin (or the multi-sided, non binary coin) there are people who don't fit this overriding trend and just eroticize pain or service or whatever for their unique own individual-ness. Individual differences are the ultimate scientific way of fudging for things that don't fit the theory, so of course it works *fantastically* for covering for this incredibly unscientific conjecture.
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Oct 28, 2014 college dude from madison commented on Christian Blogger Reacts to Jian Ghomeshi Story: God Hates Fags Kinks!.
One of Dan's better responses in recent memory, IMHO.
Sep 9, 2014 college dude from madison commented on SL Letter of the Day: Forever Grateful.
Dan means the right to *pursue* sexual and romantic relationships.

The extent of that relationship might be initial flirtation followed by a polite decline. Everyone has to the right to seek opportunities for sexual fulfillment, whether or not anyone gets filled is up to the joint decision of the relevant parties.
Apr 9, 2014 college dude from madison commented on NCAA Division 1 Basketball Player Comes Out as Gay.
"This is the happiest I have ever been in my 22 Years of living...No more HIDING!!!...Just want to live life happy and play the sport that I love." -Gordon

This is the only answer you need. When people don't feel the weight of cultural pressure keeping them closeted long enough that coming out brings them enormous relief, it will stop being news.

Coming out is a big deal because being out is still a big deal.
Sep 3, 2013 college dude from madison commented on Savage Love.
@2, "Some-other-point-along-the-gender-spectrum" from earlier in his response.
Mar 25, 2013 college dude from madison commented on SL Letter of the Day: Closed Door Etiquette.
This is one of my all-time favorite Dan responses. Practical, a little sexy fun, and again, practical.
Jan 28, 2013 college dude from madison commented on SL Letter of the Day: Be a Little Selfish.
Uh! Again, these greatest-hits letters make me desperately want an update from the writer. I'm with Dan; I remember needing to excuse myself for a bit after reading this the first time too!
Nov 8, 2012 college dude from madison commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Hole Truth.
A wonderful couple did a hilarious AMA about their experience with this on Reddit about this recently. Fucking great stuff.

I would disclose after intercourse #1, after he's seen that you're totally functional and that nothing seems out of place. Might be a little mind-blowing for pillow talk, but a "hey, by the way..." would fit in pretty easily (hehe, fit in)
 

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