It's not very popular.

Aug 20 DRF commented on SL Letter of the Day: For Better or Worse.
Attending marriage counseling sessions doesn't make her a hypocrite. It demonstrates that she is willing to try even if she doesn't think it will work. It indicates that she is thorough and that she thinks major decisions through.
Aug 16 DRF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Potential Murder, She Wrote.
Lady, if you think your husband is trying to kill you, WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING AT HOME?! GO STAY SOMEWHERE TO WHICH HE DOES NOT HAVE A KEY. Then consult a professional. It's better to be the woman who was too paranoid and had a counselor tell her "It's nothing you silly" than to be DEAD. Tell him you'll come back if he goes for therapy—you can't afford not to do it; if it were brain cancer, you'd find a way to pay for it—or tell him you'll come back if he gets himself together or tell him you're not coming back, but GET OUT FIRST!!

Mr. Savage is spot-on with this. GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE and then sweat the small stuff.
Aug 14 DRF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Code Breakers.
Again, Mr. Savage is dead wrong. It is not the listener's job to know when the speaker is lying. It's the speaker's job to tell the truth. Mr. Savage also points out, though, that it's not a choice between bluntly pureeing someone's heart and being a gutless liar. It is possible to be both honest enough and nice enough, and there's no excuse for not bothering.
Aug 14 DRF commented on Savage Love.
@60 We can see from the post that no it wasn't clear and honest or else we wouldn't have PUP writing a letter about how his friend just needed time. The guy said, "I love you" and "not now." He should have said "not ever" or even just "no."
Aug 13 DRF commented on Savage Love.
@42, No it's not anyone's job to become skilled at Guess or whatever, but it is a speaker's job to communicate honestly, especially when the stakes are high.

Your post seems to suggest a lot of assumptions, specifically that Pup or I or anyone would define the world in terms of Ask and Guess, and that is not the case.

You also seem to think that Pup's friend had two options, lying to him and bluntly telling him to get lost, but this is not the case. He could have said, as Mr. Savage suggests, "We had some good times but I don't want to pursue this further." Being honest and reasonably nice at the same time is entirely possible, and it doesn't even take that much effort.
Aug 13 DRF commented on Savage Love.
I disagree entirely that it is the hearer's job to tell when someone else is lying. PUP's Fido was a coward and lied about not being interested. No it is not the hearer's job to "tell" that "I love you but" means "I don't love you and." Some people are good liars. Some people are bad at detecting lies. And if you've been in a close romantic or semiromantic relationship with someone, you tend to think that this is someone you can trust. You tend to think that you know each other well enough to tell the truth.
Aug 7 DRF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Truly, Madly, Fairly.
What's the score now? Dan: 3, False Equivalence: 0.
Aug 5 DRF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Tough Choice.
She should chuck the husband regardless of the Dom. It sounds like the husband has been given a million chances already. If he can sleep soundly while she's freezing in the car—neither taking her side with his host nor adding his own body heat to the cramped back seat nor waiting for alternate arrangements—then he takes his spousal duties far less seriously than she takes hers. However, I'd advise LW to wait a while before committing to a romantic relationship (note I said committing and romantic) with the BDSM master. She should let her emotions shake out first and figure out who she is on her own.
Aug 1 DRF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Love and Lyme.
@15 and @19 Either chronic Lyme is real or there is some other disease out there that looks and responds exactly like chronic Lyme.

I know someone who's been diagnosed with chronic Lyme by a reputable physician (more than one, actually). The bottom line: When they designed and implemented a treatment regimen for chronic Lyme, my friend—a young woman in her twenties—got better. When she went to docs who said, "Oh chronic Lyme isn't real! Let's treat you for this instead," she got worse.

The history of science and medicine is full of cases of people going, "Well, logically this can't be true" only to find out that it was, even if the underlying cause was something unexpected. When the midwives washed their hands, the women didn't die in childbirth. Germ theory was discovered after that.

As for the response, I was a bit skeptical about a Lyme PSA in response to a sex and relationships question, but she did address the issue. The LW clearly doesn't want her husband to have sex with anyone else, and, "Well maybe you don't need a sex worker at all; try this and this" will address the problem, even if it doesn't address the specific question of how to find a good prostitute.
Aug 1 DRF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Love and Lyme.
THE LYME TEST IS REGION-SPECIFIC. If you get bitten in a back yard in North Carolina but go see a doctor in New York, they will give you the New York test, and you will get a false negative. You will wander around wondering why you are sick (because the test said it wasn't lyme) until you tell your doctor where you've traveled.

Remember not everyone gets the bullseye mark! Don't assume you're uninfected just because you didn't get a rash.

Also, killer answers to the sex questions. Those were good too.

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