commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Painful Subject
Despite the careful description of the wife, the husband sounds like a capital A asshole. So he hides his primary sexual interest from his spouse until AFTER the vows. Then when she cautiously decides to accomodate him he decides that's not good enough because she is still allowed some control (what is his ideal, you crying, begging him to stop, please stop, while he violently rapes you, and only finds out afterwards that you were serious?). So he resorts to uninterested fucking, but trying to make sure it hurts you to take the edge off. He's a real prize, isn't he?
His problem is not that he's a sadist. The problem is that he's being a selfish douchenozzle in the sexual arena. Maybe opening things up could help, but I would definitely include working with a sex positive couples counselor as well, since I'd bet he has issues that go beyond his unrealized fetish.
commented on Press Release of the Day
What an awful description of the novel. Whatever Ender's Game is, it is not about some epic Starship Troopers type war against aliens. It is about how children get caught up in the ambitions and intentions of adults. Like many of the better novels about kids, it is about how kids are not free from most of the complex feelings and conflicts of adults, they merely play them out in what (normally) is a harmless space. Future novels explored how heroes turn into villains through the lense of history.
I deeply resent Card for being such a shitty human being that I can no longer enjoy the novel that I so loved as a child, but I would encourage anyone to pick up Ender's Game (second hand! no money for the bigot please!) and give it to a young person in their life.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mom's Journal, Dad's Porn
The scenario Dan lays out is plausible BUT there are a few details that could change things:
1. Is the laptop used exclusively by dad or does mom have occasional access? Because if she's using the computer, the day porn could be hers. Many women prefer gay porn.
2. Was there ONLY gay porn on the computer, or was porn both gay and straight? This is key. There is a world of difference between dad being gay and dad being bi. Of course, if he's closeted as a bi man in the marriage that's also a problem, but it is a whole order of magnitud less of a problem than if he is gay.
commented on Judge Slaps Moms with $10,000 Fine After Grocery Industry Brings Anti-SLAPP Suit
I find the anti-GMO hysteria tiresome, and rarely very well justified. Just because Monsanto is evil (no argument there) does not make GMOs evil. It is a technology, not an ideology, and from anti-GMO campaigners I see a lot of ignorant or dishonest attempts to steer justified hatred of Monsanto into hatred of GMOs generally. Start demanding labelling of all foods made with pesticides, or preservatives, and I'd be a lot more receptive.
That being said, people should have the right to campaign for labelling without fear of having a multinational use every dirty trick it has to stop you. Not that I'm surprised. Considering the shit Monsanto gets up to in the developing world, this hardly registers on the ethics-o-meter they don't have.
commented on SLLOTD: The Anti-Choice Boyfriend
I hope this girl managed to make it through her (almost certainly long overy) relationship without a pregnancy. The advice was pretty shitty, given that an in-love 18 year old could be pressured into continuing a pregnancy she doesn't want and thus become a teen mother with a controlling boyfriend. I do wonder however how it would be possible to get the need to dump this kid, who was probably just going through a self-righteous phase anyway. It can be easy to forget the intensity of feelings when you are that age, and just saying "he's not worth your time, find someone better" would not be likely to convince an 18 year old in love. I think it migh have been better to play out a possible scenario with her. She continues fucking him, there is an accident and she gets pregnant. She knows she's not ready for a baby, but does she know she could resist his pressure to not abort, since she loves him so much? I think it's more likely that saying that she would see that staying with this boy could lead her somewhere that could ruin her future.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Cousin Couple
Meh. A paper I read some time back said that the incidence of birth abnormalities in children from first cousin couplings is about the same as that of women who have children over the age of 40, and no one is jumping down their throats calling them gross and perverse. My guess is that second cousin couplings would not register in terms of added risk and really if you're using contraception the whole issue is moot.
Yes cousin reproduction can be problematic, but only when it happens many times over the course of generations (see the European royal families, or really family, since they are all related). I get that people will find it icky to think sexually of others you've known your entire life and been told to identify as family, but "ick" does not equal risk. I would hope that at least in this forum, people would understand that their personal discomfort at a sexual idea should have zero impact on its validity, to say nothng of its legality.
commented on Savage Love
MUD has broken it off three times, and this guy is still willing to come back for more? What it sounds like is that MUD isn't "together" at all, but someone with the very definition of mommy-issues, and he's dragging some poor guy along an emotional roller coaster.
MUD, make a decision. Commit to this guy and tell your mom you are gay and your boyfriend is too and to get over it, or break it off with this guy for good and set him free to find someone who won't jerk him around.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Let Me Think...
She says she's vanilla "compared to the kind of letters you recieve". This would indicate that she's read the column before.
Which begs the question; how can a regular reader of yours possibly not know the answer you're going to give to that question?
commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Grateful Cuckold
Here's a thought for AC. He said:
I would love nothing more than to indulge her fantasies in return. I feel like I would do anything for her, but she has never admitted to any sort of unsatisfied kinks or desires; her own tastes are quite "vanilla."
Astonishing how he can answer his own question and not even see it. She DOES have a desire he is not fufilling. She desires regular vanilla sex that doesn't involve cuckolding dirty talk all the time. AC says he does it "on occasion" but that it's difficult because it takes "a long time". I assume that's because he has trouble getting aroused and/or coming. So how about some simple toys, or getting your face or fingers down there? How about you *gasp* not coming and that being OK?
She puts up with a fetish that she clearly doesn't like for you AC, you should give in kind. Sex without the dirty talk is onerous and not as fun I'm sure. Your wife knows all about that kind of sex, because it seems to be most of the sex she gets to have with you. Love her? Think she's the best? Sooo grateful for the sex you get? Prove it by giving her the sex she wants.