Mar 5 krissf commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Sister's Womb.
@15 has it right IMO.

The problem is that they keep bringing the LW into it as if she is a therapist and she's not - she's not a neutral third party either.

Ultimately LW you can't make either of them behave in any particular way and even though your advice is very sensible it sounds like neither of them are listening - maybe neither of them are prepared to rock the boat. It may be that your sister still wants kids but wants her partner more. The rights and wrongs of that are for her to deal with.

It sounds like this has reached the point where it is distressing and frustrating you to listen and it would be a good idea to stop - change the subject or just say you are feeling caught in the middle and you don't want to hear about this any more.

While they have you to talk to, neither of them is about to pay a therapist, are they? Best thing you can do all round is bow out and let your sister take the consequences of her own choices, like any other adult. You've done your best.
Jun 24, 2015 krissf commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Rainbow Correction.
I'm afraid the LGBTQ community already has to proudly share the rainbow with the Brownies, hippies, crystal geeks, people who take E and fans of leprechauns, and let's not forget people who like real-life rainbows too. If they can deal with it, why not you?
Jun 23, 2015 krissf commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Ex Texting and Cord Cutting.
Just bear in mind that if you do try to pull away properly, and he doesn't like it, he will find a way to reel you back in, pronto. There will be some kind of crisis which only you can help him with. It sounds like he's doing that already and it will happen to a greater extent the harder you try to get away.

Personally I've found that when I'm getting involved with someone and they don't feel the same, they will cling on just for the ego boost. It's cruel but that's what people are like sometimes.

So it needs to be final but possibly time-limited, so you get your breathing space but he isn't tempted to pull any of those kinds of stunts.
Jun 17, 2015 krissf commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Family From Hell.
Dan is right, they're not coming. And you're not invited to the wedding. Even if your brother is sympathetic he clearly doesn't have the balls to stand up and be counted when it actually matters.

Many congratulations - wishing you many years of happiness together. I hope you have a wonderful wedding surrounded by people who love and cherish you.
Jun 8, 2015 krissf commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: What Should the Duggars Have Done?.
And to anyone who's based in the UK there's a Stop It Now helpline here too, run by the Lucy Faithfull Foundation. If you are tempted to abuse or have, or are affected by abuse in any way, then you can ring them .…

What they do is incredibly important and they deserve our support.
Jun 5, 2015 krissf commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Offering.
"because even if it's on its way out, people need closure and to be sure that ending it is what they wanted. "

Unless they have already ended it umpteen times, in which case they may appreciate a bit of help to break things off permanently this time.
Nov 26, 2014 krissf commented on Savage Love.
@hunter78, I suggest you stop watching EastEnders and start watching Coronation Street, where people don't start drinking till 5pm, and then it's a pint of warm bitter and a plate of hot pot.

@OAU, this behaviour is exactly the kind of thing people get sued over and forced to take down.

@Lacking: if you don't think of yourself as an abuser, and the dynamic you have with someone else is twisting your normal behaviour so badly out of shape that you scream and hit them, it really is time to get out. There is no salvaging that dynamic - don't do what I did and stay with the guy for two years while things got worse and worse.
Mar 19, 2014 krissf commented on Savage Love.
portland scribe, fabulous response.

It's good that they have an amicable family relationship, but this woman should not be allowed license to bully any more vulnerable children.
Mar 12, 2014 krissf commented on Savage Love.
Helenka, you made me laugh out loud. Thank you!
Nov 22, 2013 krissf commented on Savage Love.
@99 - yes there is!

Vegan tiramisu:… (and a whole host of other recipes)