report this user
2:02 AM yesterday avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Loving Wife, The Dicktease.
If you want an honest communication with her, I would suggest that every time she does one of those dicktease moves, act pleased and attempt to take her up on it. When she turns you down, ask her, "Why did you do that?" Every single time. Get her to examine her behavior.
1:58 AM yesterday avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Loving Wife, The Dicktease.
@3: "She wants to be desired and she wants to be seen as sexual but she may or may not actually want to fuck you (and if you think about it... that's ok). "

No, actually, that isn't okay at all. It's using you. Would it be okay for you to want to be seen as a great chef, to make a point of creating elaborate feasts, sitting her down before a steaming plate, taking a photo of her and her meal (for the benefit of all your Facebook friends) and then 9 times out of 10 whisking away the plates before she could take a bite? And let her go hungry? Perhaps tell her she's welcome to get herself a bowl of cold cereal afterwards? You'd be a fucking psychopath.

"Let her know - or smile and pretend very convincingly (for months if you must) that she is turning you on and that you like the dick teasing. If you don't come to like it, you can stop."

Wrong. You never, ever train someone to do something to you that you actually don't like. What does that get you? Lots and lots of the activity that you don't even like, when they could be spending that same time actually pleasing you. That, and a confused spouse who doesn't understand when you finally come clean about hating it, after encouraging it for months. You have just admitted to lying to them, and they will lose trust in your word. But at least it explains the constant shitty mood that you aren't actually quite good enough of an actor to conceal.

I notice you aren't in that relationship any more.
Jul 20 avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Different Day, Different Couple, Same Issues, Same Advice.
""I am the man here, you need to ask my permission for things, but I don't need to ask you."

That should earn him a derisive laugh and a "Srsly? Get out. Grow up. Come back after you've grown up."
Jul 14 avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Crazy Soon-To-Be-Ex-Girlfriend.
Tell her that she makes a way better ex-girlfriend than Ex does.
Jul 7 avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Two Dicks, One Girl (Who Happens To Be Engaged to Someone Else).
re: 83 -- and yes, I did read where Fiance is very conservative and monogamous, in which case I call the above "at very least" in the sense that more than "least" would involve a DTMFA and three previously working friendships and a potential marriage destroyed.
Jul 7 avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Two Dicks, One Girl (Who Happens To Be Engaged to Someone Else).
"Our girlfriend did say that she can now tick off "threesome" off her list of life goals and that she would happily marry her boyfriend now that it's done."

You say that like you think it's a mitigating factor. It isn't.

Not only did she cheat on her fiance with you two in order to do this thing she's been pining after, now that she's had her cake, she intends to wall off all the hotness from the man she's marrying. What a nice way to (de-)prioritize the person whose sexuality she supposedly is binding to her and noone else for the rest of his natural life. By getting her rocks off clandestinely, and then putting that possibility up on the shelf, out of reach, for the rest of time. What a piece of shit she is. I truly hope Fiance reads Dan and recognizes his situation.

AT VERY LEAST she does not get to check "threesome" off her bucket list just yet, because now she owes Fiance one, with the hot girl of his choice, and maybe, if she's lucky, herself as Particpant #3. If she's not lucky, she gets to wait at home while he goes out and fulfills his fantasy with two other women, neither of them her, just like she did to him.
Jun 15 avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Stressed Out.
To paraphrase: " I carry the stress from my job in my pelvic floor." I'm sorry, but that just sounds like a real leap of logic. I'm not insisting you are wrong about that, but you might want to look into the possibility of other medical conditions that cause pelvic pain.

I am also wondering about the other pain issues you mentioned. Pain play? Does your girl want to be on the receiving end of the pain, or the giving end? If she wants you to be the recipient, I can imagine where you'd be more than a little tense.
Apr 17 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
@PART: "My wife does not trust my friend not to "take advantage" of our friendship."

Translation: your wife does not trust YOU not to take advantage of the situation, should the opportunity arise. This is kind of stupid, because the opportunity arises literally every time LW is away from the house, not just bike days. Infidelity hardly requires that it occur during known, scheduled coffee dates with the suspected paramour.

In any case, you need to understand that in your wife's estimation _you,_ not your paddling partner, are the problem. Meaning, this isn't going to go away once you dump your friend to placate your wife.
Apr 17 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
@43: "remind her that she's always welcome to join the two of you on your outings.":

Might even be appropriate to tell her that in a little less delicate fashion. "Okay, fine, but if you insist that I drop my biking buddy, then you can damned well get your ass out of bed every Saturday morning and join me on the lake."
Apr 17 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
@37: What you said -- "if I wanted to cheat, doing it in the dirt with a sweaty woman is probably the last place it would happen. "

What she heard -- "The two of us are actually at a nearby motel, with a nice bed and hot showers."