9:57 PM yesterday
avast2006 commented on
Savage Love.
" I wanted to explore my sexuality a little, but things went further than I wanted."
Why do I get the feeling that the boob grope was in the context of her saying "Let's make out, I want to explore my sexuality a little," and then getting mad when sometime during the make-out session he felt her boob without asking "May I please touch your breast?" first? In other words, just like the dry-hump incident.
"He broke up with me a couple months later."
I'll bet he did. She probably confused the shit out of him, and made him feel guilty for desiring her.
3:54 PM yesterday
avast2006 commented on
SL Letter of the Day: Did You Think I Was Going To Tell You Not To Come Out? (PLUS: Help Free Kate!).
@96: Five years? Better check your math.
The affidavit gives Kate's date of birth. Using that, we can place her age as 18yr-4mo, give or take a week, at the time of the first incident.
We know the younger girl was not 15 yet in mid-January when the most recent incident occurred, but she is 15 "now." (Meaning when Kate's mother's plea was written, which we don't know exactly, but it's somewhere between the last incident and today, both of which we do know.) So she turned 15 somewhere between Jan and May this year. That means she turned 14 somewhere between Jan and May of the previous year. That would place her in the range of 14yr-7mo to 14yr-11mo at the time of the first incident. Therefore, characterizing her age as more like 15 than 14 is a reasonable interpretation.
With some simple subtraction, we can see the age difference is somewhere between 3yr-5mo and 3yr-9mo.
"Five...is right out."
May 20
avast2006 commented on
SL Letter of the Day: Did You Think I Was Going To Tell You Not To Come Out? (PLUS: Help Free Kate!).
@45: Mind your date fudging. According to the affidavit, Kate was indeed just barely 18 when the school year started, so she was something like 18 and 4 months when the sex started.
However there is no indication about the age of the other girl. She could easily have been nearly 15 at the time. I'm pretty confident that if she hadn't quite turned 14, as you suggest, they would have said she was 13. That is also supported by the idea that she is now 15, as claimed by Kate's supporters. She couldn't have been just under 14 at the time while also just turning 15 now.
May 20
avast2006 commented on
SL Letter of the Day: Did You Think I Was Going To Tell You Not To Come Out? (PLUS: Help Free Kate!).
Letter Writer: Ah, "complicated living/financial situation with spouse," is it? What does that mean? Why do I get the feeling you are about to bust out the Bisexual Special Pleading Fallacy?
My standard answer is that it doesn't matter if you are gay, bi, straight, curious, bored, or drunk. If you want to fuck around, you had better either A) involve your spouse the way he wants (how do you know he would want this, if you haven't discussed this with him yet?), or B) give him equal permission go go fuck the person of his choice -- and no, that doesn't mean permission to go fuck a guy unless he's bi too and has been hankering for one. It means the person that happens to turn him on regardless of gender, same deal as you are asking for.
Also, the fact that you don't want him involved in your playtime means you need to grant him equal private time with this hypothetical person of his choice. If you get fully unsupervised time to go experiment with your shiny new sexuality, so does he for whatever his reasons turn out to be.
If you aren't prepared to offer both of those concessions happily, then don't bother coming out, because being bi isn't an excuse for demanding a hypocritical and selfish one-sided deal.
(Before anyone jumps on me for jumping to conclusions, it was just the vibe I got. Maybe LW isn't thinking any of that, but it just seemed that way to me. YMMV.)
More...
...Less
May 17
avast2006 commented on
SL Letter of the Day: Insane Demands.
@126/144: Sorry still not getting it. Once you have made dead sure that you are so much more of a catch than that woman that he refuses to leave for you, what's the point? If you are so fucking wonderful, and he is still so fucking unavailable? Why not go find someone actually available to appreciate your bad, hot self without reservation?
May 17
avast2006 commented on
SL Letter of the Day: Insane Demands.
@137: If his wife's sex drive is just peachy, and she is nonetheless freezing him out*, that rather bolsters his claims on being justified in getting his elsewhere. That would be a pretty clear indication that the wife is interested in sex just fine, merely not with her husband. At that point she has officially abandoned her post, and has no further legitimate interest in what he does sexually.
(* taking at face value the claim that she is in fact freezing him out )
That said, yes to the rest of what you said. Involving the frigid wife in the sex play is unnecessary in itself, unnecessarily humiliating to her, and far more likely to completely blow things up.
May 17
avast2006 commented on
SL Letter of the Day: Gonna Boil My Laptop After Answering This One.
Argh! Curse you #10! Beat me to it!
Having trouble imagining a dog that wouldn't turn around and rip his throat out for even trying it, though.
Also, and most important, I wonder whether he is putting you at risk of arrest yourself if the authorities ever caught you with animal porn on your device or in your accounts. (I assume animal porn is illegal?) You should tell him the next time he sends you any of that shit, you are going to kick him to the curb so fast he will count himself lucky if the door is open before you put his ass through it.
May 17
avast2006 commented on
Savage Love.
I haven't followed this week's comments religiously, but I thought I read some from lesbians who didn't like DSGs making out with them in order to impress a guy. I extrapolated that they were showing off with the woman and then would go off with the guy. Not necessarily literally giggling -- let alone _at_ the woman they were just making out with, as if to say boy they sure put on over on her -- but the end result is still the same: it was for all intents and purposes a setup.
It's rude to feign interest in one person in order to get the interest of someone else entirely. That's called "using them."
Why do I get the feeling that the boob grope was in the context of her saying "Let's make out, I want to explore my sexuality a little," and then getting mad when sometime during the make-out session he felt her boob without asking "May I please touch your breast?" first? In other words, just like the dry-hump incident.
"He broke up with me a couple months later."
I'll bet he did. She probably confused the shit out of him, and made him feel guilty for desiring her.