Mar 20
planned barrenhood commented on Say It Ain't So, Jane Goodall.
How old is she? I'm worried this might be a sign of dementia :/
Mar 16
planned barrenhood commented on Great Moments in Minority Outreach at CPAC.
Fnarf and ThetaSigma: Please be aware that Southern secession would have left enslaved people to the tender mercies of their owners for the forseeable future. And today, it would still kick a lot of great people out of our country. This asshole doesn't represent "the South" and he never really has.
Mar 6
planned barrenhood commented on SL Letter of the Day: You've Been Dumped, Dude.
I too feel kind of bad for LW. it seems like he's about to learn a common lesson that young, often high-achieving people learn about relationships, which is that they aren't something you succeed at just through work, persistence, and going through the motions. If the other person doesn't want to be with you, then the relationship is over. You can't logic someone into wanting to spend time with you or have sex.
This may just be more projection, but I also have to point out that treating a relationship like a job is one of the least sexy things ever. The GF may have come to resent feeling obligated to do couple-y activities or have sex. She absolutely could've handled things better, but it's often a youthful mistake to think that "I'm not feeling it" is not a good enough reason to break up, and hang around too long.
Well... wanting to break up is a good reason to break up. You can't talk her out of it, LW. She will probably be fine and so will you, just respect her boundaries at work and leave her be. There's no reason to make this more protracted and awkward than it already is.
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This may just be more projection, but I also have to point out that treating a relationship like a job is one of the least sexy things ever. The GF may have come to resent feeling obligated to do couple-y activities or have sex. She absolutely could've handled things better, but it's often a youthful mistake to think that "I'm not feeling it" is not a good enough reason to break up, and hang around too long.
Well... wanting to break up is a good reason to break up. You can't talk her out of it, LW. She will probably be fine and so will you, just respect her boundaries at work and leave her be. There's no reason to make this more protracted and awkward than it already is.
Feb 28
planned barrenhood commented on SL Letter of the Day: Plan Ahead and Plan B.
I don't know, y'all, this sounds a bit contrived. This lady has such rock hard Kegels that she can pull the condom off of a man's dick, but yet she isn't in touch enough with herself to reach in there and figure out where the condom is? Her 21 yo boy toy immediately jumps to the conclusion that she DISAPPEARED THE CONDOM in order to STEAL HIS PRECIOUS SPERM? And now she is like "Do I really have to take plan B" as if maybe her vagina had also managed to carefully hold the condom closed and tie a knot in it to prevent leakage...?
But just in case this actually happened, wow. How long have you known that you have the Arnold Schwarzenegger of vaginas, and yet you keep this information to yourself? Improper condom use (or condom-snatching gnomes who live in your cervix) is an STI and pregnancy risk factor. SERIOUSLY switch to female condoms and/or consider another BC method such as an IUD, or at the very least, tell your partners they have got to keep an eye on that condom. You have got to start outsmarting your crafty, muscular vagina in its blatant attempts to get you pregnant.
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But just in case this actually happened, wow. How long have you known that you have the Arnold Schwarzenegger of vaginas, and yet you keep this information to yourself? Improper condom use (or condom-snatching gnomes who live in your cervix) is an STI and pregnancy risk factor. SERIOUSLY switch to female condoms and/or consider another BC method such as an IUD, or at the very least, tell your partners they have got to keep an eye on that condom. You have got to start outsmarting your crafty, muscular vagina in its blatant attempts to get you pregnant.
Feb 26
planned barrenhood commented on SL Letter of the Day: Flirting vs. Negotiating.
I have to say, this answer is confusing me a bit. Are rape games really that de rigeur that people just bust out with complex, potentially kinda scary fantasies like that in flirty chats, before even discussing hard limits? Honestly, I think that would make me nervous, even though I have no history of sexual violation.
I agree with @1, SUBS has no obligation to continue flirting with this guy. It isn't a sign of sexual dysfunction to be turned off by someone bringing up something that's a huge issue and major turnoff for you. Everyone is allowed to have limits. She can decide to give him a second chance or not, whether or not he is a Dan-Savage-certified asshole.
I agree with @1, SUBS has no obligation to continue flirting with this guy. It isn't a sign of sexual dysfunction to be turned off by someone bringing up something that's a huge issue and major turnoff for you. Everyone is allowed to have limits. She can decide to give him a second chance or not, whether or not he is a Dan-Savage-certified asshole.
Feb 26
planned barrenhood commented on SL Letter of the Day: Out and In.
@5, you clearly are suffering from exactly the same issue as the mom. You don't have to be able to comfortably imagine the exact way someone might like to fuck, in order to accept them as a human being. Especially not if that person is a CHILD. Once again, gayness being equated only with gay sex itself.
BITCH, hang in there. I don't know if a couple of months will be enough time to wait before coming out to your mom again. One thing to keep in mind: Are you getting your driver's license right now, or will you be soon? If a car might be your only mode of transportation to an LGBT youth center or other type of support group for young gay people, consider delaying your coming out until you've got your license, and seeking support outside your home first. It would probably help so much for you to be able to talk to people who are going through the same thing.
BITCH, hang in there. I don't know if a couple of months will be enough time to wait before coming out to your mom again. One thing to keep in mind: Are you getting your driver's license right now, or will you be soon? If a car might be your only mode of transportation to an LGBT youth center or other type of support group for young gay people, consider delaying your coming out until you've got your license, and seeking support outside your home first. It would probably help so much for you to be able to talk to people who are going through the same thing.
Feb 18
planned barrenhood commented on Julian Assange Runs for Senate to Avoid Prosecution.
Hey you know what would be awesome? If you'd call it a rape accusation scandal instead of a "sex scandal." The man is accused of rape.
Jan 29
planned barrenhood commented on SL Letter of the Day: Be a Little Selfish.
Loving the neuroses on display from some of the people in this comments section... Is it really that hard to believe that her new boyfriend could be on board with the scenario and would find it hot to see her with her ex? That she really cares for her new boyfriend and wants to give their sex life a jumpstart, not fuck her ex one more time for the sake of it?* I'm a straight woman and if my boyfriend came to me with the idea of a threesome with his ex in which she "shows me how it's done" I would be amused and excited. Some of y'all really need to have more faith in your own sexual attractiveness and worthiness. Women don't just stay with men because the men do a good job of keeping us away from other men. We stay with them because we like them!
*Hint: if that was all she cared about, she'd just dump her boyfriend and call her ex.
*Hint: if that was all she cared about, she'd just dump her boyfriend and call her ex.
Jan 26
planned barrenhood commented on SL Letter of the Day: So And So.
@Styler: "I did not know that his family had no idea of who she was, but feel that her hurt feelings were not something I could fix at that precise moment. The situation was not ideal in any way shape or form."
OK, good job making sure that she is on the title of the home and legally entitled to the kids. But HOW does the situation occur that your husband (I'm figuring you are the wife here???) hasn't said a word to his family about your triad fam, and you two bring her to the funeral regardless, with absolutely no game plan for how to introduce her and your child? Seriously that whole set of decisions was all three of you setting yourselves up to fail. You can't unring that bell, obviously, but now it's time to have an actual conversation about how to deal with everyone's families, plus I personally think your husband owes her an apology whether or not "her hurt feelings were something you could fix at that precise moment." Well you sure do need to process her hurt feelings now.
As for your questions about your degree of openness with your family, I hope that you've posed them to your partners because those are the people you need to come to an agreement with.
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OK, good job making sure that she is on the title of the home and legally entitled to the kids. But HOW does the situation occur that your husband (I'm figuring you are the wife here???) hasn't said a word to his family about your triad fam, and you two bring her to the funeral regardless, with absolutely no game plan for how to introduce her and your child? Seriously that whole set of decisions was all three of you setting yourselves up to fail. You can't unring that bell, obviously, but now it's time to have an actual conversation about how to deal with everyone's families, plus I personally think your husband owes her an apology whether or not "her hurt feelings were something you could fix at that precise moment." Well you sure do need to process her hurt feelings now.
As for your questions about your degree of openness with your family, I hope that you've posed them to your partners because those are the people you need to come to an agreement with.
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"Not hitting your partner is like not shitting in the living room - it's the minimum expected standard of behavior in civilized society. No one (except maybe a three year old) is proud of the fact that they refrain from pooping in the living room. And no one should be proud of not hitting their partner, or think of it as a selling point."
This is the truest thing on a thread full of true things.
Girl, you have to DTMFA, if only because he has you to the point where you are like "at least he isn't hitting me I guess?" Not cool. You deserve more. Don't trot out an anxiety disorder diagnosis or a slightly complicated vag as reasons why you have to tolerate this guy's BS. In fact if he has ever compared his meanness or drinking habits to either of your slight issues, DTMFA and then kick him in the dick.