commented on SL Letter of the Day: Assorted Qs
Adorable set of questions! Let me add a bit of input on some of them:
4. I think that you've done a good job of examining your preferences. Here's one thing to think about though - it's sometimes not that sexy for people to hear "I'm into you because you are my type." If you end up meeting the Asian boy or girl of your dreams, and tell them that you like them because of the physical characteristics you associate with their race, they would be perfectly within their rights to be creeped out and run away. You're allowed to have preferences for sure, but always approach people as individuals!
6. Don't change yourself in order to be able to date people. Yes, men in their early 20s may often expect that of you, but you don't have to do it. Being single is definitely better than playing coquette for some domineering jerk.
7. Identifying as a feminist can be great. People who are freaked out by that are probably misinformed.
8. Make sure to let the doctor know in advance that your hymen is intact. You may also have what's called a "tough hymen" that is too thick to easily go away on its own. For that, there's a very simple remedy - getting it snipped. Takes about 2 minutes, involves local or general anaesthesia and is not a very big deal at all. Take it from me, former owner of a tough hymen.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: That Dick Has Sailed
@86: ding ding ding! This sounds like a problem that could easily recur if she's hooking up with men who think sex should be a completely nonverbal activity and aren't used to asking for what they want. I've experienced this issue a few times myself. What she wants to do is try and get them talking dirty to her, and also lavish a little attention to them (according to their instructions) at the same time as they're trying to make her come.
I also have to question putting so much pressure on the first hookup in general. This is why I made a habit, when I was single, of making out with someone and getting his phone number but NOT going home with him the night we met. What you want to do is get together for Sunday afternoon "coffee" when you are alert, sober, and excited to see someone again!
commented on SLLOTD: Better Off Than Michigan
Nice work, Chris! But I would've called her behavior out as abusive. LW, imagine if a female friend of yours told you she was being socially isolated, berated, threatened and physically attacked by her boyfriend. Would that be OK? Well, what's happening to you isn't in the least OK, either. DTMFA and get back to living a full life of cold beers with your friends and coworkers, and fun times hanging out with your family. You don't need this mean, nasty, jealous hellbeast in your life. Once you've dumped her ass (also lose her phone # and her email address - she sounds like the potential creepy stalker type) you'll be amazed at the weight that lifts from your shoulders. Have a wonderful time being single and resolve to only date people who treat you well!
commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Second Chance
Definitely get to a doctor before you try any kind of penetration (even just fingers) with this new guy! If you've still got some unhealed tissues, you don't want to reopen any wounds.
Good luck - and I wonder if it would help you to find a place where you can read other people's experiences of losing their virginity. It definitely isn't fun for everyone.