May 15, 2010
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Boy Toys
Our son was looking at straight internet porn at age 11. At 15 he came out. I don't think that gay porn = gay boy /straight porn = straight boy is a working correlation. I think that when puberty hits, all porn is interesting, First it's "whoa, what's this sex thing?" Then it's, "And what about me?"
And whatever your experience with porn, or lack of it, coming to understand where you and your partners fit in the junction of loving, lust, intimacy and pleasure is always awkward, difficult and risky. Everybody is screwed up, insensitive and clumsy at the start. The ones who never figure out how to be good partners never would have anyway - porn or no porn.
Feb 28, 2010
commented on Savage Love
To # 144, if you're doing it right, all of the human body is for sex - vagina, cock, ass, hands, mouth, inside of the arm, under the chin...whatever. Probably best not to have the liver or lungs directly involved (though the way she draws in her breath when I touch her...wow).
Anything one or the both of the partners don't want to do, that's fine. Love is a feast anyway. But the more ways that you can touch each other and please each other the better, and we've found over time that we always want more.
More general comment -
For my wife and I it took us about five years of easing into anal sex before she was fully comfortable. The key was patience in the long run, patience in the short run, attention and gentleness (and lube). The hemorrhoids from childbirth are a factor, but just require a little more care. As for mess - after three kids we were able to deal with a little bit of shit (and what marriage doesn't have some shit from time to time?)