Home of the Whopper.

Functional Atheist
report this user
8:33 PM yesterday Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Innocent Virgins.
I hope this is fake, but I don't think it is.

Fantasy/masturbation/erotica/porn--there are a variety of ways that young people who have never had sex with another person might discover a bunch of kinks that get them off. Having said that, I hope that both of these young people recognize that what 'works' in a masturbatory fantasy might not be enjoyable in a real life situation with another person.

And yeah, I'm glad I'm not this letter writer's Dad. I try to be open-minded, but it would be distressing to contemplate my virgin daughter diving into the deep end of the pool with some Skype guy from thousands of miles away, who has such a panoply of kinks.

Also @3 Python reference is on point: before these kids go anywhere near her genitals they ought to spend several hours on plain old vanilla making out, with second and third base on the table only if the kissing is hot and fun.

If you don't like kissing this boy, Letter Writer, break up with him, and have the good sense to be relieved rather than disappointed.
2:53 AM yesterday Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love.
I learned cribbage from Iowans, back when I was a kid in Iowa, and we called scoring points and moving the pegs around the cribbage board as 'pegging.'

The double entendre with the newer, naughtier use of the word 'pegging' never bothered me. The connotations seem congruous to me, what with the insertion of the peg to mark one's forward progress around the cribbage board is a good thing, just as inserting an object or peg and making forward progress sexually is a good thing when 'pegging' describes a sexual act.
Aug 23 Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Jacked Around.
More proof that gender studies majors are priggish shame monsters, or at least deeply annoying.
Aug 18 Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Judgement Daze.
This is just another instance where its best to ignore the judgments of others about stuff that ain't their business.

It really is analogous to Mr. Savage shrugging off homophobic bullshit. Why give those who aggressively violate the golden rule any credence, weight, or significance?

@2 Not wanting children is entirely legitimate. My views on ignoring those who stick their nose in the personal business of others applies to you in this instance. However, I don't like your assumption that for women it is ten times worse than for men. Who has the right to measure pain, and make absolute judgments like that? Certainly not you. So I shall return your presumptuousness with some of my own: you're a fucking bitch.
Aug 14 Functional Atheist commented on An Open Dialogue About Sexuality.
"This person" comes to ALL of Dan's college speaking gigs, is ALWAYS first to the mic, and ALWAYS has the same long-ass speech disguised as a question?

You all are missing the point, I think. The content of "this person's" speech is secondary, even trivial. What's important is "This person's" obsessive, very stalker-ish behavior, and single-minded axe-grinding.

She reminds me of Pooh from The World According to Garp--let's hope she never shows up at a speaking gig armed and ready for her Sirhan Sirhan moment.
Aug 13 Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Code Breakers.
You can put pretty much anything in an OK Cupid profile.

I'd qualify things--I'm not a White Knight, its not about loving chaos--I just prefer uncertainty, someone still on the quest, someone still-posing-those-dorm room bull session questions of why we're here and what's the meaning of life and how do we find meaning in the darkness.

Maybe a pothead hippie chick?
Aug 13 Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Neverlasting Love.
Yeah, @15 nailed it.

Dan going down the mature poly road was extremely optimistic, and not very practical or realistic.

This is one of those situations where old school Ann Landers sort of advice is what's central--get the deadbeat dad on the hook for child support.

Being practical is what's most pertinent and relevant for this letter writer's sister--emotionally, the odds are very high the relationship will end, and working on that assumption, the most important thing is nailing down the child support/custody/visitation issues.
Aug 12 Functional Atheist commented on Feeling Nothing About the Death of Robin Williams?.
Loved him as a kid (I was 11 when Mork and Mindy premiered), began backing away in the 90's (too many sappy roles/films), went into a phase of actively disparaging him, and then was indifferent to him.

Now, I'm remembering being 11 again, and how Mork was must-see TV. That show was important to me.

Rest in peace, and sympathies to his friends and family.
Aug 5 Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: This Cheater Will Never Stop Cheating.
Many people keep doing dumb stuff, knowing full well it is dumb, but they're so habituated to the pattern of behavior that they're effectively incapable of breaking the cycle.

This letter writer, or virtually any cigarette smoker, are examples of this cycle of self-destructive behavior that is so infuriatingly frustrating to observers.

So, how to break the cycle? A shrink? A self-help program like "Co-Dependents Anonymous", if such a thing exists? A hard slap to the face, or a bucket of cold water being dumped on the head? Being kicked around on an internet comment thread?

I dunno what will break the pattern.

I wish her the best, I really do--and not just for the sake of her children. Even with all her mistakes and her drama and her endless cycle of stupid behavior, even with all of that--she deserves better.
Jul 28 Functional Atheist commented on I Saw Three Black People in Vienna Today....
The concept isn't okay (yet).

But it might be within a decade or two. It isn't mean-spirited. The wink, the irony, the whatever-the-fuck Tarantino-esque playful and affectionate retro-70's thing will probably be okay eventually.

And yeah, @2 and @10, it is nice of you to advise Dan to hit the 'real' Vienna, but I'm sure he's doing just fine on his own. His taste in restaurants and bars is sophisticated to the point of being "super fancy pants"--he's an American tourist who is among those LEAST likely to opt for chain shop slumming.

Want great deals and a chance to win tickets to the best shows in Seattle? Join The Stranger Presents email list!

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy