Functional Atheist
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Oct 23 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Same Time Next Queer.
@22 Makes a valid point: whatever Dan's fatigue, the unrelenting tide of sexual frustration will inevitably keep lapping at his mailbox, meaning that letters of this type can be avoided for a time, but never forever.

@4 The attraction to attraction that the LW referenced can be viewed more charitably than you chose. It need not mean an addiction to that 'new love' high, those particular endorphins. It might refer more broadly to the notion that feeling wanted and desired is pretty fundamental, and if your long-term monogamous partner withholds desire, or is incapable of expressing desire, that can have a withering effect on one's sense of overall self-esteem and confidence.
Sep 11 Functional Atheist commented on Survivor of Homeschooling Moved By Joel's Story.
Homeschooling is catnip for the worst parents in the world.

Ban it.
Sep 10 Functional Atheist commented on Rallying to Help a Homeschooled Christian Kid Who Got Thrown Out After He Came Out.
I'm reminded of Dan's one-year rule: the parents are allowed to have their tantrum, their time to behave like jerks and get all of the vulgar questions and demands out of their system while they adjust to the (extremely uncomfortable to them) reality of the situation.

They're in the negotiating/bargaining phase of their grief. They don't want to look bad, and they don't want to feel bad about their own actions--but those guilty conscience feelings are not yet strong enough to overcome their bigotry.

But I think there's hope for them. This young man wants to give his family respect--which is more than they are offering their son--and I think we should give them some time to wrap their heads around the fact that they have a gay son.

But, of course, sadly, hope is not certainty. If they're still dicks after a year, this young man would best be distant and cool, or absent, from his parents' lives.
Sep 5 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: This Guy Says He Slept With Marco Rubio.
A flight last year really brought home the no talking thing.

I was flying with my brother and my parents--a mini family reunion, meeting up with sister and her hubby in San Antonio.

I hadn't flown with any of them since I was....3?

Brother's in an aisle seat, Dad's in the window seat across the aisle. They banter and talk, yelling at each other, for the bulk of the flight.

Me, mortified, head aching, wishing I could pretend I didn't know those obnoxious motherfuckers.

I vowed to never travel with them again. Unless one of them is in a coffin down with the luggage compartment--where I was tempted to put them, by the end of the flight.
Sep 1 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Say the Right Thing.
I have a good friend who loved my response to him coming out.

My eyes went wide. I had a briefly squiggly expression. A slightly worried look for a moment, as I absorbed the implications. Then I smiled broadly and shook his hand, saying "Congratulations! That took real courage, real bravery. That's great that you trust me enough to tell me that."

This was around the turn of the millennium, so it did take a bit more courage back then. For context, we were both 30-ish, and he'd been married (and divorced) to two different women, me best man at the first of those weddings.
Aug 21 Functional Atheist commented on Dr. Lori Brotto Is Not Impressed with the New "Female Viagra".
The efficacy of this medication is so minimal, based on the clinical trials, that it amounts to a whole bunch of nothing.

@5 I don't see the 'insatiable sex maniac' drug as being anything like inevitable. It may be an appealing trope in certain forms of porn, just as faster-than-light-travel is an appealing trope of sci-fi, but that doesn't mean that either one of them will ever happen.
Aug 14 Functional Atheist commented on Catholic Priest: We Can Reach Out to Gay People by Comparing Gay Sex to Shoving a Bagel in Your Ear.
So this guy, supposedly charismatic and good at communicating with youth, likes to return to his standby 'image' of putting a bagel in your ear, as an analogy for gay sex. Since being gay is all about gay sex, of course, and bagels are natural analogues for insertion devices.

Yeah. The kids are really gonna latch onto that 'image.' They're gonna say "A bagel doesn't belong in your ear!" Of course. How else would a youth respond?

Surely not a single one of those upstanding youths has thought "WTF?"

Keep using that one, Father. You're a good communicator. Charismatic too.
Aug 6 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Reality Check.
@46 Come on. There's normal dumb stuff and there's stratospherically dumb stuff.

Consider a long con: she manipulated him to liquidate his major asset, his home. She finagled her way to him becoming accustomed to assisting her financially, to the point that he writes her a blank check. His money is liquid, she has access to it, BOOM. The long con pays off big-time and she's gone with the wind.

This guy has a child. He has responsibilities beyond himself. He is SO lucky he wasn't being conned by a professional. That bit of good luck is all that spared him from financial ruin. That's not 'everybody does foolish things for love' stuff, that's epically naive, profoundly stupid stuff.

I don't denigrate him, as a person. But I don't have qualms about denigrating bad decision-making. I think that's a fair distinction, but if you don't, I guess you're a more sensitive snowflake than mean old me.
Aug 5 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Reality Check.
Nobody has mentioned that the stuff about "sitting on a pile of cash" and "gave her a BLANK check", to paraphrase, were building toward a truly dramatic disappearing act by this woman.

$300 is nothing. I was figuring it was setting up to be more like $300,000, and good luck buddy in getting it back.

Count yourself lucky, letter writer. At least you got some amazing sex out of this situation, and at least she didn't help herself to vastly more of your dollars.

I mean, really--a BLANK fucking check, when your checking account is overflowing with money? How fucking stupid is that???
Aug 3 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Advising On a Tight Deadline.
Three weeks is an odd amount of time.

I agree with Dan. But @6 has a point. The letter writer's meltdown, while sweet and lovely and human in some respects, also seems clingy and impatient in other respects.

I wonder if he has something else going on. Maybe he's met someone new, as was suggested, and is trying to keep options open for himself, where he can take new woman for a test-drive while keeping the letter writer on hold. Or I wonder if it is something unrelated, and he just needs some time to deal with unrelated stuff.

Or I wonder if he's being honest, and he needed a break to see just how much he misses her, and to see just how she responds. In this scenario, his coldness on the phone might indicate he finds her too intense/clingy/impatient, that she failed this test, and the 'no limbo for me' stance that Dan advised will result in a mutual break-up.