commented on So I Watched Rachel Maddow's Interview With Rick Santorum
@16 He is Catholic.
But I don't agree that "he, like most Catholics would surely like to discriminate..." I think the wars of the Reformation and counter-Reformation are far enough in the past that most conservative Catholics, like Rick, are perfectly comfortable with conservative Protestants. And as to "most Catholics" wanting to discriminate against other believers, I don't buy that either. American Catholics are well integrated in our society, and polling data does not support the notion that they are as bigoted toward non-Catholic Christians as you assert.
Sorry if you were being tongue-in-cheek or sarcastic. I can be highly critical of faith and the faithful, but I do believe in playing fair in terms of avoiding inaccurate generalizations.
commented on Free Pride Glasgow: "We made a mistake, and we apologise."
I'm glad they changed their mind.
I suppose this is niggling, but I would like their decision to rescind to also include a broader philosophical point about the importance of being inclusive, and how competing liberal values can be in conflict.
"Sometimes there can be a tension between being maximally inclusive and maximally sensitive. Our error in this instance was in overvaluing sensitivity to the detriment of inclusiveness. As we move forward, we hope our communities can calmly discuss the tension that sometimes arises when people of good will have differing priorities and values."
commented on Finally, Momentum for Greater Density and More Affordable Housing in Seattle
If someone chooses to live 'by Sharia law', then they are choosing religious piety over other consideration. That is their right.
However, I see no reason to contort civil law to make religious extremism an easier and more palatable choice. If your religion forbids you to pay interest on loans, then it is up to you and your community to pool your resources or to find other methods to finance the purchase of homes.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Lover
As others have noted, SoCal and NoCal aren't really that far apart.
And there are other specifics to her situation that should give the letter writer some hope. For one, LDR's that have indeterminate but LONG durations are particularly stressed. A few acting commitments in NoCal for the letter writer ought not to extend much beyond a year or two. And as an actress herself, the LW might logically relocate to SoCal at some point, irrespective of where her boyfriend lives.
Taken together, these factors make this particular LDR look more plausibly sustainable than most LDR's: it isn't that big of a distance, it isn't necessarily that long of a duration, and it isn't hard to see a situation where they can once again live in the same metro area becoming a reality.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Aren't My Boobs Enough?
A nice introduction for a person brand-spanking-new to Dan Savage. This covers a great deal of ground for such a brief question about boobs: being secure and confident; being aware that checking out others is normal, but its important for all concerned to do that checking out in a non-ogling manner; and more!
And a specific point regarding perfect boobs: there are many ways for boobs to be perfect. The ideal b-cup is necessarily quite different from the perfect d-cup, nipple color and size can vary considerably and more! One individual boob-appreciator might be able to deem many different boobs as 'perfect', just as a leg-appreciator is able to drool over a pretty significant range of legs, just as a face-appreciator is able to appreciate a pretty significant range of faces.
commented on "So You Reproduce Like a Starfish?"
Well, I think it would be helpful to admit that some people who aren't sexually active, who may have never been sexually active, are not necessarily asexual.
I mean, sometimes the behavior IS because of past traumatic sexual experience. Or IS due to some form of social anxiety disorder. Or IS due to chronically poor self esteem, or some form of arrested development, or some sort of hormonal disorder. Or IS from some other factor unlisted, or by some confluence of these or other factors.
So yeah, sure--genuine asexuals exist, and deserve respect. But sometimes those who are not romantic or sexual DO have an underlying pathology, and it would be just as much a disservice to those individuals to lump them in with the asexuals, as it is to lump the asexuals in with those who are coping with a crippling, yet potentially treatable, condition.
commented on Savage Love
The litany of deal-breakers described in the first letter is breathtaking.
So much so that it sounds fake, written by someone with some sort of masochistic or cuckold or messianic or humiliation fetish.
If real, yeah--run, don't walk, away. If fake, insert the come-shot punchline of your own choice--perhaps the fiancee becomes a bisexual dominatrix and all sorts embarrassing--for the letter-writer--hijinks ensue.
commented on Accept the Apology, Already
I agree wholeheartedly, Dan. Forgiveness is a high virtue, and practicing it is at least as good for the forgiver as for the forgiven.
But I'm essentially your peer--48 to your 50 or so--and I think the perspective we share is at least partly attributable to maturity.
In other words, we're old, and the screamers on Vine and Instagram and Twitter tend to be young. And nobody's as sanctimonious and confident in their righteousness as the young.