TortoiseTurtle

Website: http://slog.thestranger.com

Bio/Manifesto

I spend a lot of time hating you.

More Than You Need to Know

This or That

• Punch Buggy or Slug Bug
• Bring It On or Stomp the Yard
• Cowgirls, Inc. or Pony
• Dan Savage or Charles Mudede
• Meridian or Film Forum
• No legs and a million dollars or A million legs and no dollars
• Frank Gehry or Rem Koolhaas
• Vampire or Zombie
• Dicks or Vaginas
• Too many teeth or No teeth at all
• Jesus or Santa (sexually)?
• Honey Bucket or Wizards of Ooze
• Elliott Bay or Amazon
• Barsuk or Fantagraphics
• SVN or Git
• Pot or Coke
• Presse or Pichet
• Dina Martina or Jean Godden
• SF or LA
• Zune or Segway
• Poneman or Pavitt
• I hate living in Seattle or I wish I lived in Seattle
• Wildrose or Staying Home (Lesbians only)
• Will in Seattle or Fnarf
• OTB or ACT
• Folklife or A kick in the face while drowning in fish guts
• Ivar Haglund or Jean Enerson
• Production or Devel
• Tushy or Tuchus
• Tom Skerritt or Dave Matthews

Questions

• What song do you want played at your funeral?: Banana Phone
• What song do you never want to hear again?: Anything by Paul Simon
• What do you like to read when you poop?: Whatever's there
• What keeps you up at night?: Hatred
• What helps you sleep?: Sex
• What song or movie makes you cry?: Banana Phone
• Where's your hairiest square inch?: Back of my head
• If you could bring one dead person back to life, who would it be?: Hitler
• What book have you read the most?: A Remembrance of Things Past
• What movie can you recite verbatim?: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
• What piece of art would you steal?: The Statue of Liberty
• What's your biggest grammatical pet peeve?: There, They're, Their misuse
• What is your sweetest taboo?: Checking Slog

For Trolls Only

• What's worse: Gay marriage or black people being allowed to listen to R&B?: Blacks
• Dan Savage started the Iraq war. Why?: Devil made him do it
• If you found out you were going to have a pit-bull baby, would you have an abortion?: Yes
• Why are people so afraid to learn the truth about building 7?: Paul Constant wrote this one.
• Where do you buy your WOW Gold?: The store
• What's your favorite Charles Mudede post?: The fucking idiotic one

Fill in the Blank

• God is: Dead