Hunter78
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Hunter78 is unwinding from work.
7:03 PM yesterday Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
The Week in Review -- Three Peters
3 Letters, weak response.

HelpMe-- Foreigner writing from Germany complains they have been falling in love with Peter for months. Peter says he has commitment phobia, and, besides, he's still in love with a male exlover. HelpMe: should they stay or should they go?

Bil-- Gay male late 20s. Little sister's husband, Peter, Bil's age, is bi. Peter likes to talk cock to Bil when wife isn't about. Bil feels sure Peter wants to suck his cock-- and he's inclined to let him.

Recons-- Gay guy in an open relationship and on Recon (a bdsm site) where he recognized a new member, Peter, who looks like Recons' bf's best friend's fiance. (Is that only 5 degrees of separation?) He feels this could be a problem on double dates. He would never fuck Peter because of the social situation. If I'm wrong and they're not the same person, bringing it up with them could make things awkward.

The letters didn't generate much interest. Learning to recognize a denial of interest. Movie chatter. HA discussed. Isn't HelpMe more understandable heterocentrically? A dear regular is in one of her manic phases.
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3:48 PM yesterday Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Wonderful automotive company?

Is this the same company that deliberately cheated on millions of emission tests? That promoted diesels as the clean engine of the future?
Jul 23 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Nice!
Jul 23 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Cap,

Venn's explanation of Homocentric August left me with all my questions unanswered. Let me illustrate my ignorance with a sample letter:

Recently my wife of 20 years' relationship has been severely cutting back on our sex. Last night I found out she's been cheating on me. I love her. What can I do?

Lately Wronged.


Experienced advisors will immediately recognize the trap here. Gender flipping. The idea that LW is a man is a matter of heteronormativity. Homocentrivity approaches the issue differently. Assuming the parties are homosexual, one examines the letter again to see whether the narrative was broken, would the advice change (usually not), would the issue improve? Venn likes to espouse the last.

What if the lover is a man? Does the supposition of homosexuality extend to Wife?
Jul 22 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Venn,

With HA bearing down on us, would you be so kind as to remind us of the rules?

Jul 19 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Bi,

Thanks for the fact-checking. Yes, NCA was dumped 10 months ago. And yes, Bruise didn't say he knew the other dude, just that the other dude knows Bruise and gf are a couple. Technically, we don't know that Bruise gave informed consent to Wife's playing around-- only that he has found out and is retroactively "happy" for her. I didn't know "stepping out" had passed its expiration date.
Jul 18 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
The Week in Review -- Straight Up
4 Letters, weak response.

NCA-- Immature mid 40s het male with 3y gf who dumped him 3 months ago. He wrote her saying he still loves her. He's dating another woman who's "pretty, smart, sexy, and kind," but he's not really hot for her. Should he settle for gf2, or continue his search?

Bruise-- Guy's gf has been stepping out on him. Just today she came back from a hotel with passion marks on her breasts. He knows this other dude-- who knows they're a couple. Should he make an issue of hickeys?

TPC-- Guy is able to shoot a wad, then shoot again very quickly. Is it ok to use the same rubber?

Mapip-- Guy wants to reargue last week's Had, and offer his own DTMFA.

Following bleak last week, I was hoping for much better this week-- 4 letters, no less, and plenty to pick at. But I was disappointed. An early theme was being married to an ideal (eg monogamy), not the partner, was potentially interesting, then petered out.

Tpc also drew some interest. Some wondered if this was humble-bragging. Majorities can't be proud. No marks policies. Cheating your way out of monogamy. Is monogamy hard-wired? Monogamy v more highly evolved relationships.

We were able to enjoy Venn wandering off-topic awhile. They became more political. Bi used "fag" in 111, and we were off to the races. No comment on double 69.
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Jul 18 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
I don't care for sex that is easily disease-protected with a condom. What, is major penetration your only practice?
Jul 17 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Venn,

If the 3-letter f-word is among your top concerns, I envy your tranquil world.
Jul 17 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
I dunno. I usually like the Deja Vu ads.