long-time reader
Portland, Oregon
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...no longer a first-time commenter

long-time reader is, because he thinks.
Apr 18 long-time reader commented on Excerpt: We Sent Ijeoma Oluo to Spokane to Meet Rachel Dolezal.
Pardon me while I run off to start a batch of popcorn.
Apr 4 long-time reader commented on Letter to the Editor: The Real Story Behind the MAGA Hat-Wearing Star of a Police Reports Illustrated.
Let the record show that the hat guy has a small or medium sized head, and presumably brain.
Apr 1 long-time reader commented on Happy April Fool's Day! You Can Play Ms. Pac-Man on Google Maps Today.
This was my favorite Google April Fool of all time. Was, as in, they already did it. A few years ago. It was Pac-Man instead of Ms. It's probably just as well that they turned it off after a week or so, because it was hard to stop playing.
Mar 15 long-time reader commented on Portland Anarchists Who Are Repairing Potholes Have Lost Their Minds.
Bicycles, how do they work? What are they for?

Mr. Mudede, we would like some answers.
Mar 15 long-time reader commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Too Drunk To Swing.
So, did you really puke just because you had too much to drink? Or because you had a good amount to drink, and then the change of circumstances made you sick to your stomach? Because I've been in the latter position.
Mar 13 long-time reader commented on First Hill Streetcar: No Firm Plans to Return to Service.
This seems like a pretty stupid design flaw--brakes unable to actually stop the vehicle in an emergency.

Cable cars designed 100 years ago didn't have this problem. The emergency brake was able to essentially weld the car to the track if necessary, even on the steep streets of SF: http://www.cablecarmuseum.org/the-brakes…
Feb 16 long-time reader commented on Detained Dreamer's Lawyers Say Government Doctored Legal Document to Try and Prove False Gang Affiliation.
The law enforcement officer who falsified that document is the only person in this case who belongs in prison. For a long, long time.
Feb 3 long-time reader commented on RETRACTION: Milo Yiannopoulos Is Not a White Nationalist.
What the fuck did I just barely even skim?

Let's just settle on "Milo Yiannopoulos is a maggot-infested roadkill skunk." I mean, that's just an objective fact.
Jan 12 long-time reader commented on Owner of Magnolia Gym Says RVs Are Hurting His Business.
@11, your straw man is too ridiculous to even entertain as having the basic outlines of a man's form.