commented on Savage Love Letters of the Day: What's In a Name?
@39 Totally agree.
I was given an odd name for the times I was born. No one had my name. NO ONE. It wasn't that I disliked my name so much as I didn't understand why I was so singled out as being odd. It was my name and part of me. I was made to feel like I was doing something wrong by not having a common name or nickname. My name is biblical and old fashioned, but most people had at least heard of it. To compound that, it is my middle name, so every first day of school I had to go through the process of explaining I did not use my first name (which is too common). When I was 10, I was exhausted by the annual ritual so I just tried going by my first name but it felt unbelievably wrong and I had to stop doing that after a few weeks. The next year we had moved and I decided to go by a shortened version of my name which had always felt right to me. New school, new people and instantly I had a name that was still odd but felt good to me, like a favorite shirt. Off course, it took my family 5-10 years to actually call me by that name, but I didn't care. My mother was fond of saying she didn't name me that and I ignore her because she had her chance and blew it. If they had called me by the shortened version and given me time to grow into the name (and confidence to defend it) I probably use it as an adult.
Turns out both my names have a lot of significance in family history and genealogy, but that was never fully explained to me except an airy: oh, you're named for great-great grandmother. Yeah, but WHO was she and where did she get the name in the first place? I am thrilled with my names now, knowing where they came from and I'm grateful my parents didn't name me Tiffany or Courtney because "they liked the name." Ugh.
The LTR needs to get over herself. The kid likes his name and is comfortable with it. She is just hurting him when she calls him something else and implies his name is garbage. That's like saying, yeah, I got you hooked on soda, but it's a terrible thing and you're weak for not giving it up.
Seriously, woman, LET IT GO. You had your chance when he was born and you blew it. Don't punish him because you were too weak to insist on finding a name you both were truly happy with. That ship sailed once he was too big to call "Baby" all the time.
On a separate note: I hate my husband's name and never use it, but it didn't stop me from dating and eventually marrying him. He's not fond of my name either, so we call each other Honey all the time. To outsiders, it might seem weird, but it works for us.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Mated and Checkmated
I have a very vivid imagination. At first I thought, well, he's this dude in a triad that wants to expand but he wants to ease her into the idea. Possible. But he's being way too manipulative and that leads me to a scary idea. Perhaps, a baby is all this triad wanted and could not have themselves? How easy for one of them to form a relationship with another girl, get her pregnant, push her into a living arrangement, "business" (really?) and other things that would tangle her life to the point it would be hard for her to get out? or WORSE, maybe she moves in, has the baby and the couple disappears with it? Even with the best case scenario, this guy is no one to have a baby with. They're not married, which helps some in her rights vs. his, but, yes, if she's very early pregnant and willing, I would counsel having an abortion. It isn't a great solution, but the only one unless she wants to live with the stress of always worrying what this guy is going to do with her baby every time he goes off with it, which he will be able to do with legal visitation. Or, if she can, put up a good fake front and plot carefully to abandon everything and move somewhere else, hoping he won't track her down.
Dec 22, 2015
commented on Sales of Print Books Are on the Rise Again
Don't forget children's (and teen) books. People are still buying their children books, thankfully. You can't leave an eReader in your child's crib, for instance. [A pile of books of books will give you an extra 20-30 minutes sleep in the morning.]
Sep 10, 2015
commented on I Watched Stephen Colbert's First Late Show and You Didn't Miss Anything, Savage
I missed the first show, so just watched some YouTube clips. Not impressed, but it wasn't terrible. I'm not ready to write him off yet. Better to start mediocre, figure out what works and get better than start at the top and never repeat. I like Colbert a lot, so, here's hoping he'll find a way to reinvent late night for himself. Meanwhile, I turned back to Jimmy Kimmel. He is always funny, even when he's not. Plus, he has an ease and air of always having a good time which I enjoy. I wasn't a late night viewer of talk shows until he came along.
Jul 21, 2015
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Memory Hole
I think I have to agree with Dan on this one, though, usually, I'd say honesty is the best policy. The time to disclose it was a month or so after the wedding, in a ha-ha, "I guess I should come clean on this" kind of way. Not having told her then makes it seem like there was more to it. It sounds like to me, the guys were just caught up in booze and hormones. I am in awe that SHIT was able to pull away and get out of there before more than making out happened. Maybe his wife will agree, but I'd let it go until something further is established with that relationship. Then, yeah, he should tell her. Letter of the law, not the spirit: technically, it wasn't a stripper.
Jul 15, 2015
commented on Nine Questions for Sandi Doughton, Author of Full-Rip 9.0: The Next Big Earthquake in the Pacific Northwest
@15 and alcohol, assuming you have it secured so it won't break during the earthquakes. My husband and I don't drink hard liquor but we have a fully stocked bar, thanks to friends' gifts ("what do you want for your birthday?" "Jim Beam"). What started as kinda a joke gift became a tradition. Liquor doesn't go bad...? We both figure whether natural disaster or alien invasion, other folks will trade desperately needed supplies for the booze we don't want.