Jul 23, 2015
commented on I Feel Like We Say "I Feel Like" All the Time
In that 70's classic, Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice, near the beginning of the film one guy tells another, "tell me how you really feel!" The other guy says something like, "I feel that you have a really stupid haircut!"
I bring this up because rather than being used as a qualifier or hedge, "I feel" in this case was employed to provide an air of legitimacy to a pretty lame opinion. "You have a stupid haircut" is just a dumb thing to say, but preceded by "I feel," in the 70's enthusiasm for self-actualization, it was taken to be something authentic and therefore of immense value.
May 31, 2014
commented on Living Near Skinny People Makes Overweight People Unhappy
"... it's not the condition in and of itself that makes someone unhappy; it's the way people who have it are made to feel by society's response to it and those who have it."
No, no, no -- that's not what this study is saying! This study did not examine bullying behaviors. Most of the comments here assume that fat people are shamed because people MAKE them feel ashamed. And while I have no doubt that fat people are bullied for being fat, but that's not what this study is saying. It is merely saying that a fat person around skinny people feels less happy than one around other fat people.
Kind of like someone without much money is going to feel unhappy around rich people, but comfortable around poorer people. Etc etc.
People feel unhappy because they feel self-conscious. I can remember a million times or more that I've been unhappily self-conscious to be surrounded by people more "ideal" than I. But I can only recall a few instances of being shunned, shamed, or ridiculed by such people.
My point, I guess, is that to feel ashamed is almost inevitably part of "failing" to live up to society's ideal, whether persons in that society treat you poorly or not.
May 28, 2014
commented on Maya Angelou
Back in '93, I listened to Clinton's inauguration on the radio while I was at work. I will never forget what a thrill it was to hear Maya Angelou read her awesome poem ... I don't know if it was the poem itself or the sound of her voice as she read it, but it was momentous.
(Then Clinton's inaugural speech sucked so bad...oh, well.)
RIP Maya Angelou, you were great.
May 22, 2014
commented on Two Reader Responses to My Trigger Warning Post and One Sensible Defense of Trigger Warnings
What surprises me in all this, aside from that it is even a thing that people are talking about, is that various commenters (not here, but at the NYT and elsewhere, including Sherman Alexie in Dan's original post) are complaining that trigger warnings are "censorship."
Uh, trigger warnings may be anything from simply polite to misguided and silly, but to put a label on something is hardly to censor it.
This whole thing is just a big victim-fest. I'm a victim! Without trigger warnings, you are victimizing me again! I'm a victim! Trigger warnings are censoring me, boo hoo!
Apr 30, 2014
commented on Savage Love
@11 bxtorr19, the reason he is concerned about the label is that he wants to take Dan's advice about coming out.
And I don't think that coming out as bi is necessarily TMI or posturing. People talk about sex, love, romance, etc, all the time. It's perfectly natural to say, "I'm bisexual" in these conversations.
Mar 13, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Ex Files
@14 (agony): "And [slap] whoever put in their minds that the person who is supposed to help you get over a breakup is the person who broke up with you."
I remember a few years ago Dan calling this phenomenon "stage 4 Lesbianism." This couple may have been straight, but they sure had that disease!
Mar 3, 2014
commented on Question of the Day
It looks like that because both figures' lack of a neck make it appear that they are being viewed from above...or are both bending over. One person bending over another person who is bending over does have a certain air of aggression. It could also seem that the yellow figure was beginning to attempt the Heimlich maneuver on the black figure.
Redo the icon, give them necks, problem solved.