Yeah, it's a copy of that.

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4:37 AM vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Jibe - I could have provided a fairly long post comparing this situation to the time Ms Winfrey decreed that there was No Good Reason for gay men not to commit to bi men and making a few other points in support of you and Ms Cass, but don't want to distract from her flow.

Ms Cass - I was being a bit more particular; we've had a couple of trans participants on the thread opining about profiles and dates, and I'd have been interested in their perspective on LW's prioritizing remaining an ally, and their personal views about allyship. I agree with you about recent trends and eggshells, and on a similar line to yours have half suspected that we are headed for a world where exclusive homosexuality is going to be pushed out from under the (LG)BTetc. umbrella. But it can wait; I really don't want to divert attention.
4:46 PM yesterday vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Cass/Ms Jibe - I think your voices should be centred here (at least with regard to the part of the discussion that deals with cis lesbians being poked and prodded into "Approved" Actions and Attractions; what constitutes a Trans Ally would be nice to see trans voices address). Would you like a supporting post, or shall I just let you two carry on?
May 20 vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Mr Monic - I agree with your point, but you chose perhaps the least fortuitous example for it. Being exclusively OS is like starting a game of Diplomacy in control of the fourteen centres that can be held with only ten units - no Ally necessary.
May 20 vennominon commented on Savage Love.
What I've seen backs up much of Ms Cass' posts regarding the dynamics of TL/CL conflict. It's unfortunate that the centring of trans voices has occasionally reached the extent of silencing other voices. A big part of one major conflict I've seen settled on the question of whether lesbians who weren't attracted to trans women ought more properly to be considered V*philes.

But I wonder, though - Ms Cass mentions [...a parade of computer-literate translesbians hitting on cisdykes all over the place.] which makes me wonder to what extent any of them are deliberately seeking cis partners. (Shades of Mr Savage's infamous recommendation that bi men date other bi men, but I wonder what Ms Cute, who seems the most severe about preference expression in profiles, would say to a "Seeks Same" from a trans lesbian.)
May 20 vennominon commented on SL Letter of the Day: You're Dating a Clown. Deal With It..
Break up either way. It's not nice to stay in a relationship with someone largely because one is established as the "superiour" partner. Even if one doesn't seek to make hay from that status, knowledge of being the relationship's Official AH or DB or whatever pejorative of choice might well prove detrimental to the "inferiour" partner.
May 20 vennominon commented on Savage Love.
M? Dusky - Would that rule out the hatewatchers? On other sites, I occasionally see posts from people who enjoy hatereading Mr Savage, and most of them seem not incompatible with those who can't even bring themselves to hateread (though I doubt most of the claims they make of shouting better advice at their computers, samples of which are almost never supplied).
May 18 vennominon commented on SL Letter of the Day: I Like Big Dicks and I Cannot Lie.
Ms Star - It's unfortunate it took you all the way until #85 to make the most important statement you've made all thread.
May 18 vennominon commented on SL Letter of the Day: I Like Big Dicks and I Cannot Lie.
A reasonable debate could be had between Ms Cute and Ms Fan. I had in mind Ms Fan's first idea about the value of encouraging those of low SMV. Personally, I'd tend to agree with Ms Cute's last paragraph, but there are those (such as Mr Angel) of contrary views.

Two minor points for Ms Cute - would you acknowledge a spectrum? I could see a difference between preferences for more essential characteristics and those that won't matter in the dark. If one required a microscopic endowment for sex that would make Joan Plumleigh Bruce's top drawer, that might get more of a pass than a request for gingers (however little I understand that anti-preference).

Second, couldn't some preferences be expressed in a way that revealed both what one happened to be like as well as what one liked? Would you accept, for instance - "Should prefer Persuasion to Jane Eyre" or "Should prefer The Waves to To the Lighthouse"?
May 18 vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Forgive me if I'm not very coherent today; I made the mistake of watching the season finale of Call the Midwife.

There was potential interest in the third letter along the lines of how best to deal with conflicting POAs; does the more reasonable one get a cookie? or questions along that line. I suspect there was little comment not so much just because it was an SS couple but because there's so much more potential zing on this issue with OS couples due to all the gender cards there are to be played. There may be mild interest in something I've noticed lately, that, if I can frame certain troubles as a big bad wolf blowing down a straw house, all the couples Mr Savage tries to relocate to a brick house (so to frame one or two of his elaborate edifices) seem to be OS. Not that the stick house isn't the right answer for this couple; it's just that this letter accidentally put me in mind of the framework I've been wanting for some time. Perhaps it's just that hardly any SS couples can yet logistically meet the requirements for the brick house.

I thank Ms Helenka for veering the second letter back towards the question of Ally status. The operative question could well be: How comfortable should it be to be an Ally? Mr Savage appears to think that a Trans Ally should be willing to put up with the discomfort of making the Cis Sex Partners Only disclosure in a personal context rather than a public one. I do think it makes sense that an Ally needs to undergo some discomfort, though whether that's just for the acquisition of Ally status or there's some ongoing necessity is open to interpretation. Without it, there's always the risk of a potential Ally turning out to be like the Prince of Arragon rejecting the lead casket: "You shall look fairer ere I give or hazard." (As I also hold that a True Ally must genuinely Get It, I rule out a lot of people others would call Allies, but that's another matter.)

I could go on, but I'm too overpowered; sorry.
May 16 vennominon commented on SL Letter of the Day: I Like Big Dicks and I Cannot Lie.
Ms Cute - Sexual Market Value.

Ms Star - As Miss Brodie would tell you, Art comes first, and then Science.

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