Achieve the Four Modernizations.

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3:58 PM vennominon commented on Variety Reviews the HUMP! Tour.
Accept the fact that your neighbours might be into something different? Wrong, wrong, wrong. Anyone of sense would vastly prefer it that way, except for those who want to do the neighbours.
3:48 PM vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Crinoline - Well, that used to be the classic line, and we had at least one letter touting the modern version last year. You recall the bi woman who gave her straight male partner her gracious permission to have as many male encounters as he wanted, but would not sanction female encounters because he was her only man. I shall credit Mr Savage with assuming that he didn't want to bring that up, or she'd immediately go and tell her BF that of course he could have a boyfriend of his own.
6:35 AM vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Sissou - No, a straight chaser is a (frequently particularly noxious) man who goes after openly straight men, often despises open same-sexers, and thinks bagging straights increases his own masculinity and thereby desirability. The other thing I mentioned was a separate sort of corresponding phenomenon, straight men who got off on luring gay men into making passes at them so that they could act all virtuous and misunderstood when they rejected them. I congratulate you on the felicity of not having had to encounter members of either such group; you haven't missed anything you'd want to experience.

The best example of an allumeuse I've encountered is Louise Leidner in Murder in Mesopotamia (which they really rather butchered when they filmed it by inserting Hastings; the novel is particularly interesting because it's narrated by the nurse, who views Poirot and the investigation through a medical lens, but who barely appears in the episode at all).
4:03 AM vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Sissou - Those aren't gays; those are straight chasers, who really need to have their own separate orientation and who deserve all the blame you assign.

I don't know if it reached France, but around these parts it was quite a game at one time (perhaps still is?) for a certain sort of straight man to befriend gay men, initiate and take the lead in flirtation (which sounds as if it fits the letter and LW rounds BF's portion down to conversation and the waiter's up to flirtation due understandably to the waiter's rudeness to her) with the object of eliciting a Declaration of Affection or indeed even a Proposition, in order to respond with an Indignant Assertion of how he was Just Being Friendly and Why Why Why Was He Being So Traumatized (rather like the writer of that rerun letter who was told by Mr Savage that he was the satyr, not the faun).
9:27 PM yesterday vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Mr Suave - If the unfortunate same-sexer being exploited as an ego booster happens to enjoy the exercise knowing it full well to be what it is, that's a situation that gets the old FTWL, but not that many straight men are all that scrupulous about it (in fairness, quite a number of straight-chasers appear to prefer that) and it's far too common for some nasty homophobic assumption to seep into such encounters.
9:02 PM yesterday vennominon commented on Savage Love.
No waiter is irresistible.

While there is truth in the first two thirds of the conclusion of that response, Mr Savage omits that it might reasonably be considered marginally more excusable for someone who knows very few available people from whom to choose (if Mr Savage can presume that GBF finds BF madly attractive without any evidence, I can presume they live somewhere with a very low quantity of non-Wainthropps) than for one of the rather greater number of women who take male homosexuality to be a personal insult or decline to believe in it as quite real in the first place (I am quite pleased to say that there are only one or two infrequent posters among the present company to whom this designation might apply).

As for the second letter, wouldn't "biamory" be more accurate when she's seeking two partners exactly to fairly careful specifications and not an open-optioned indefinite number greater than one? This letter makes me feel old, as I remember what might be considered the birth of biphobia as a term in common use, when it was mainly evoked when the partners of people like this LW didn't capitulate. It's interesting that there's been such a shift.
Apr 14 vennominon commented on Organic Chemistry Is Hard!.
M? Obvious - It's the wardrobe.
Apr 14 vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Erica - Did you mean to omit the modifier "opposite-sexer"? That makes a most interesting difference to the sentence, and I could see it either way. Cleverly stated.

I'm afraid I shan't allow the SAD authors to be any sort of authority here any more than Anne Elliot allows Captain Harville to assert that he never opened a novel in his life without reading something of woman's inconstancy (her response being that those novels were all written by men) during their friendly debate on whether men or women have more tender or more lasting affections.

If you seriously assert that *only* attractive opposite-sexer men are worthy of the privilege of paying a woman for her valuable time, after which she *might* deign to thrown him a bone(!), I shall begin to wonder whether you think men ought to be permitted to vote or hold property. I rather thought that being terminally unattractive was quite a sufficient reason for people to resort to purchasing physical interaction. Of course, I defer to your expertise, but is there a middle ground between the creme-de-la-creme upper echelon escorts who befriend you and who might reasonably be supposed to be as exclusive in their selection of clientele as any top member of some other profession and the trafficked pawns of greedy pimps?

Still, it is interesting to learn from Dr Sean that the time of opposite-sexer men is so worthless; I hadn't realized orientation made such a great difference. There's probably a good question for Mr Ophian in here somewhere about the value of his time.
Apr 13 vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Erica - I do rather like your therapy analogy; sometimes the financial approach is the most realistic and most productive. But, as I don't think I could venture any sort of guess, given your high estimate of the proportion of opposite-sexer men who want to be cuckolded, as to your opinion of whether men should be content to be judged by their bank balances, I shall allow myself an Austenian paraphrase that is not intended as serious criticism or white-knightery (as if I had any time for that, valuable or not).

The assembled company will all, of course, recall Mr Darcy's claim to know only six accomplished women, a number which first strikes Miss Elizabeth Bennet as exacting and then, after the presentation of his requirements, as unrealistically high. Accordingly, after this thread, I no longer wonder that you think the proportion of opposite-sexer men who desire to be cuckolds so high; I now rather wonder that you know any who don't.
Apr 13 vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Cute - Well, to be a bit Carrollian, I said you were making a disturbingly good case, not that I thought you actually believed it.

You seem finally to be finding your voice at the end of #189 - urging compassion rather than derision for those who have to buy as their only resort - rather like the unfortunate Graham Weatherby in Rumpole Misbehaves, who finds a facial birthmark too great an impediment to unpaid human interaction.

I'm not sure what's judgment of others and what's a personal distaste combined with FTWL, but I had basically the same view of Mrs Geezer as you do of the non-buyers.

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