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in the past hour vennominon commented on Everything Is Transphobic (But "Gay Men Draw Vaginas" Isn't).
"The feel-good book project of the year"?????

All together now...

Gimme an L
Gimme an M
Gimme a B...

Still, at least the book people get a good-on-them for inclusion.
7:33 AM vennominon commented on Savage Love.

Ms Erica - The M>FF oppression is to yell catcalls; the F>MM oppression to is cry Discrimination! (I blame Christina Ricci.) I'll agree yours is more frequent.

Ms Cummins - (there isn't malice in this; I just wanted to write a Parallel Post)

What’s frustrating is when straight women can’t tell the difference. As soon as they hear that you have a boyfriend they tell you they want to take you shopping. Or that they want you to advise them on how to please their boyfriend, because of course you're an expert on pleasing "real" men. Or they muse, “I wouldn’t mind having a best friend who was gay. It would be a social plus for him.”

I’ve had straight women look at me really confused when I say that some gay men insist on equal relationships with our own kind and don't like servicing straight men. “There’s a difference?” Because for them, a gay is what they see in ‘gay porn.’ A man so into d* that he'd do anyone and whose biggest fantasy is straight men. It’s never occurred to them that a gay could be anything else.

How many straight men do you know who get immediately pumped when they meet a lesbian and announce, “I wouldn’t mind having a lesbian best friend”?

Sure, have your fantasies. But pay attention to reality too and be very clear on the difference.

My model here is of a large diamond divided into four smaller diamonds by an X. I am not saying that the top-over-bottom straight men's imposition on lesbians isn't worse, or isn't part of a worse overall social structure. If anything, I'd suggest that they're essentially different conversations. I just keep running into the attitude that, because it's sideways instead of top-over-bottom, straight women's imposition on gays is justified, okay, or even inherently positive.

The hard thing to convey here is how what gets the FTWL response individually becomes a problem when it reaches a collective level. If any of the "mature" women here (or any of the young, though I know the thought would give Ms Driasis a huge LMB), for instance, were to fantasize about joining the cast of Vicious and being the centre of a Sir Sandwich, I'd tell her to knock herself out. And women are perfectly capable of writing good MM literature that actually advances the conversation, or not-quite-so-good MM fiction that is at least respectful. But when the large majority of MM fiction is written by women, written for women, and sufficiently disdainful or at least disregarding of actual MM experience so that not only are real gay men writing about real gay experience shoved aside but the conversation is derailed, isn't there something problematic?

I get why women don't want to write or read female characters and fully support their finding a literary remedy to the ills imposed upon them by opposite-sexer men. It just feels unjust for same-sexer men to have to pay for straight men's oppression.

(For the record, while I view upward imposition as yet a third conversation distinct from downward or sideways, I'm not a big fan of that either and don't practise it, however great the temptation.)
5:32 AM vennominon commented on Savage Love.

Ms Cute - I've used it myself here, and thought you'd be familiar with it - the incident when Miss A was thrust into apparently not a very welcome correspondence with the Prince Regent's librarian (I think it was about the dedication in Emma) and the "suggestion" that any little historical romance illustrative of the ruling house which Miss Austen might care to whip up would be most gladly received. She responded that she could no more write a serious romance than she could fly, would never be able to undertake such a venture under any other motive than to save her life, and, if forced so to do, would be sure to be hanged before she had finished the first chapter.
4:27 PM yesterday vennominon commented on Savage Love.

Ms Cute @56 - Have you ever responded to accusations of romance with the Austen Disclaimer?

(It was tempting to Christiesplain with a paraphrase of a bit from The Secret Adversary when Tuppence insists that she's not sentimental and Tommy replies something like, "Of course not. Nobody would ever think of sentiment in connection with you." Unfortunately, it just didn't quite work.)
7:34 AM yesterday vennominon commented on Savage Love.

Ms Cummins - Wow, I must have been in good form.

Seriously, I can usually give the genre the old FTWL...

It would be nice if the distinction between reality (some women turn out quite good genuine MM literature) and appropriation were clearly delineated, as there are impressionable youths getting hold of these works. To give them their due, some of the better ones have been helpful to the young not-yet-out, but I've known of examples to the contrary, hence the exaggeration in my earlier [HA] post.

The tricky aspect is that this is yet another area where gay people are being made to pay for oppression perpetrated by straight people, but at least it's relatively less seriously in this case.

6:53 AM yesterday vennominon commented on Savage Love.

Miss Piggy @19 gets half a point for being right about the better plots. It was, after all, the rotten plots of "lesbian" fiction written by straight men that brought about the real beginning of #Killallmen (which did not mean all men but only those so-called "authors"), however much the straight-riddled mainstream media succeeded in covering it up.
6:49 AM yesterday vennominon commented on Savage Love.
I see I must explain again that we are in the middle of Homocentric August, during which month I look to make as many posts as possible that go as over-the-top as I can to present as homocentric a perspective as fits a comment on the letter or situation in question. As I don't limit my posts during August to this exercise, I begin them with [HA], as post #10 did, indicating that it was intentionally being as homocentric as possible. Others are quite welcome to join in; Ms Erica has done so on multiple occasions.

In the original year, there were many more opportunities to make deliberate reads of the genders or orientations of LWs, but people are being more complete in their self-identifying this year.

I was actually inspired to begin this by my favourite feminist, whom I shall not identify, but who has on numerous occasions written columns or blog posts that almost exactly coincide with my own take on various things. A few years ago, she seemed to tire of making an effort not to be often heterocentric, and in one or two posts got quite snippy about it. Yet her statements in favour of same-sexer equality when that issue was her focus have frequently had my full approval without addition or amendment (rare for me).

I follow this with an [HA] post and a [non-HA] post to provide examples.
Aug 19 vennominon commented on Savage Love.

Now I shall be too irritated to get any sleep. Mr Savage would have to go and mention that ghastly genre. Slash fiction has about as much to do with actual, real, living, breathing same-sexed human beings as I have knowledge of female anatomy beyond what I learned from Shirley Valentine. And yet people think it an accurate description. No wonder it was almost impossible to win any rights by popular vote. And when anyone tries to correct the false heterocentrisms advanced, he's told to shut up and that straight male objectification of women justifies female appropriation of male homosexuality.

My positively last boyfriend took two years longer to come out almost entirely because he read quite a bit of slash fiction and was afraid it was accurate. If it were, I'd not have blamed him at all for doing everything in his power to be straight.

In fact, I shouldn't be surprised if it were all some giant plot, part of a huge recruiting strategy to win over all the bi men into exclusive heterosexual behaviour.
Aug 19 vennominon commented on SL Letter of the Day: Judgement Daze.
Ms Hopkins - You remind me of how much I wish someone would film Mr Keenan's novels, although perhaps not until the work would have a retro feel (like Jeeves & Wooster, given how Wodehousian the plots are).

My equivalent to the Dowager Countess look comes, as I've mentioned before, from Putting on the Ritz, when Claire Simmons, with a scornful stare, declines a grateful offer of a job from someone she'd only coincidentally saved from ruin...

"and she couldn't have done better if she'd been packing a lorgnette."
Aug 17 vennominon commented on Savage Love.
Ms Erica - I quite believe you could staff it. But how long would the staff stay? In the picture I got of it, you would be like Norman Peterson dropping into Cheers, with everybody crying out, "Erica!" to greet you. The sort of person you'd like just didn't seem to be a good long-term fit in that atmosphere, but I'll take your word for it.

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