9:04 PM yesterday
vennominon commented on
Savage Love.
Mr Savage is incorrect. If the BF had been decent at 14 and the incident basically accidental, WSN may get an apology, but it won't be the apology she wants. He may not remember the incident at all, or his version of what happened could be so different from hers that they won't be able to have a profitable discussion; a decent person will be sincerely sorry that he accidentally contributed to her ongoing trauma, but that doesn't feel like enough.
She seems to want - not unreasonably - that he should carry a "fair" share of the burden. I strongly suspect that contacting him and finding out that he hardly recalls the incident at all or doesn't immediately display an ongoing sense of having felt terrible himself all along over what he did might well make her feel much worse than she does now, thus forcing the apology to be a good deal more than what she thinks she needs going in.
I may be a bit harsh, though, as WSN reminds me of someone. "For the most part, this hasn't scarred me too much," immediately calls forth the image of Hyacinth Bucket, who, after making a loud and sudden noise that caused her neighbour Elizabeth to spill her coffee, would generally tell Elizabeth not to worry, the stain would come out, eventually, or that she hadn't damaged the table, too badly.
I'll steer completely clear of commenting about the police.
More...
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May 20
vennominon commented on
Savage Love.
Mrs Tito - There's plenty of support for your choices in feminist circles. It probably won't be unanimous or universally uncritical.
May 18
vennominon commented on
Azerbaijan's Contribution to Eurovision.
I realized later yesterday evening that last year's Swedish winner was precipitate by one year. Next year would have been the ideal time for Sweden to host, as it will mark the 40th anniversary of Waterloo.
May 17
vennominon commented on
Savage Love.
My thanks for the clarification. I can agree with the principle, though I suspect that, if we were on a Review Board, we would not be in universal agreement on all the potential cases.
May 17
vennominon commented on
SL Letter of the Day: Living Discomfortably.
Ms Marrena - I shall refrain from commenting about "home team advantage" (because of course all gay men are all exactly alike, perhaps?) and ask, in a tone reminiscent of Mr Justice Wargrave inquiring if Mr Lombard asserts that women are immune to homicidal mania, whether you intend to claim that no woman ever offered similar accommodation to another woman with similar motivation (perhaps because you buy into Mr Savage's Creed equating All Men to Dogs [rather topical today of all days] - frankly, Miss Hinchcliff in A Murder is Announced did that rather better than Mr Savage has ever done?).
And I at least am not coddling the LW or underplaying his shortcomings.
May 17
vennominon commented on
Savage Love.
M? Cardia - It was a little unlucky for JW to have to contend with both of them.
Sochi next year may be tough; it seems highly likely that none of my current group of favourites will get there - and it was a thin group for starters.
She seems to want - not unreasonably - that he should carry a "fair" share of the burden. I strongly suspect that contacting him and finding out that he hardly recalls the incident at all or doesn't immediately display an ongoing sense of having felt terrible himself all along over what he did might well make her feel much worse than she does now, thus forcing the apology to be a good deal more than what she thinks she needs going in.
I may be a bit harsh, though, as WSN reminds me of someone. "For the most part, this hasn't scarred me too much," immediately calls forth the image of Hyacinth Bucket, who, after making a loud and sudden noise that caused her neighbour Elizabeth to spill her coffee, would generally tell Elizabeth not to worry, the stain would come out, eventually, or that she hadn't damaged the table, too badly.
I'll steer completely clear of commenting about the police.