Feb 13
smoakes commented on Savage Love.
Oh, and of course provide them with access to condoms and drive them to any doctor they feel like visiting.
Feb 13
smoakes commented on Savage Love.
@32 I tend to agree. Parents do not own their offspring's genitals. Give them info, keep them safe from predators, but after a certain age you've got to MYOB about what they do alone or with their peers.
Jan 23
smoakes commented on Savage Love.
@52
I had the same situation--my husband and his family live in L.A, which is where I was living when we met, and my family is all on the East coast.
We had a small ceremony and a big reception in L.A., and then had another big reception a week later back East. It was lovely. A few family members chose to come to L.A., but those that did not didn't miss out on anything or feel like they'd missed my wedding.
I had the same situation--my husband and his family live in L.A, which is where I was living when we met, and my family is all on the East coast.
We had a small ceremony and a big reception in L.A., and then had another big reception a week later back East. It was lovely. A few family members chose to come to L.A., but those that did not didn't miss out on anything or feel like they'd missed my wedding.
Jan 10
smoakes commented on "We all face the same joys and challenges of life.".
My grandparents were married there, and two of my aunts. I would have been married there if I hadn't changed coasts. The idea that my sister can now get married there just made me burst into tears.
Oct 17, 2012
smoakes commented on Savage Love.
Abortion for convenience is a myth. An abortion takes a gigantic toll on a woman's body, not to mention being expensive and uncomfortable. Hormones go crazy, cramps, nausea, etc. No woman who has had one would blithely plan to have another as if it was no big deal (though it would certainly be her right if she did). Women who have more than one abortion do not consider it convenient.
Sep 18, 2012
smoakes commented on Savage Love.
@13 "Homegirl can look over her shoulder, he's right there."
Do you REALLY not see how looking over your shoulder at a guy is not as intimate as staring into his face which is three inches away?
I say this as a girl whose favorite position is doggy style, but it's definitely much less intimate. If intimacy were a big part of enjoying sex (it's not for me) I can see how that would be a major flaw.
Not saying she shouldn't try it. Just saying telling her to "look over her shoulder" isn't going to help.
Do you REALLY not see how looking over your shoulder at a guy is not as intimate as staring into his face which is three inches away?
I say this as a girl whose favorite position is doggy style, but it's definitely much less intimate. If intimacy were a big part of enjoying sex (it's not for me) I can see how that would be a major flaw.
Not saying she shouldn't try it. Just saying telling her to "look over her shoulder" isn't going to help.
Sep 15, 2012
smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: DTMFA-a-Thon.
I love Dan but whenever he talks about how awful and miserable the vaginal sex he had as a teen was, I always just hope and hope that the owner of that vagina never reads his columns.
Jul 26, 2012
smoakes commented on SL Letter of the Day: Massive Generalization Alert.
I suppose "porn causes men to cheat" is a step up from "porn causes men to rape" which is what I grew up hearing... UGH.
I really wish the "all men watch porn" message would get out there more, because as it is we have so many people freaking out over nothing--girlfriends and wives catching their partners and thinking the relationship is doomed, children finding the browser history and thinking their dad's a perverted sex offender, parents dragging their teenage sons to therapy because he's a sicko. It's just sad, and completely based on confusion about what everyone else also does.
I would add: all women either watch porn, or read erotica (so many romances count), or at least fantasize about people other than their partners. Also so normal that it's the people who don't that are abnormal.
I really wish the "all men watch porn" message would get out there more, because as it is we have so many people freaking out over nothing--girlfriends and wives catching their partners and thinking the relationship is doomed, children finding the browser history and thinking their dad's a perverted sex offender, parents dragging their teenage sons to therapy because he's a sicko. It's just sad, and completely based on confusion about what everyone else also does.
I would add: all women either watch porn, or read erotica (so many romances count), or at least fantasize about people other than their partners. Also so normal that it's the people who don't that are abnormal.
Mar 28, 2012
smoakes commented on SL Letters of the Day: Campsite Rulers.
It bummed me out that the LW had a problem with his father going to the "office gay." I thought it was nice that the father realized that this was something outside his realm of experience and sought counsel from someone who might know more. "I don't want to freak out and do the wrong thing, please tell me what the right thing is" is a good thing for a parent to say. Sure, it would have been even better if the father had understood that this was no different than if his son was dating a woman... but I'm still strongly in favor of parents asking for advice instead of trying to wing it.
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WHY does she want so much to meet his sexual needs when he has not interest in meeting hers?
Okay, not WHY. I know why. It just pisses me off.