report this user
Dec 11, 2015 secretagent commented on Savage Love.
Phile - for someone that is not a sex worker, you sure have lots of thoughts and feelings about yourself as one. And no, I'm not god(dess) of the comment threads. But I can sure scold you if I feel like it for shitty, pointless, and not that interesting navel-gazing. What is for you a rather dull thought exercise is real life for other people, and I personally find your inanity distracting from what was an interesting discussion of the letter writers actual concerns. You know, the reason for this thread. But I am feeling rather feisty today so feel free to disregard. Far be it for me to propose that people not be assholes on the Internet.
Dec 11, 2015 secretagent commented on Savage Love.
If you've worked in the service industry, you've likely been treated like shit for very little money. If you are the right age, weight, and race, you can likely get paid a lot more for sex work.

And I'm not sure why people feel it's appropriate to comment about how they would never do that on a thread where someone is considering it. They've likely thought about the cons already. And you wouldn't do that to any other job. Literally no one asked you.
Nov 27, 2015 secretagent commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Poly vs. Mono, Round 4,982,475.
So is he or is he not banging multiple people? He says that he is fluid-bonded with just one person at a time. But that tells us only that he doesn't use barrier methods during sex with just one person. That doesn't tell us whether he has sex with barriers with any others. I think the writer confused Dan and Dan didn't call him on his weirdly non-specific "fluid-bonding" comment.
Nov 18, 2015 secretagent commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: An Easy Call for a Former Call Girl.
I would also argue that the sex workers I know have a healthier respect for sex and their bodies than the majority of people sleeping around. They tend to be more diligent about protection and more discerning in their partners than the average drunk at a bar hookup, which the majority of us have done/are doing. I just don't get why sleeping around in college or in our twenties, thirties, forties, demonstrates more respect for sex and feelings than sex work. Most of us have slept with people whose names we've forgotten or never knew, whose feelings we didn't consider and who made little impression on us emotionally.
Nov 18, 2015 secretagent commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: An Easy Call for a Former Call Girl.
@98 Generic and @Eud:
@ Generic
You keep saying Sex is: and then putting your personal definition of personal (intimate) and important. For many people, sex is a variety of things, depending on who you're doing it with. With a partner, it could be love. Or maintenance. Or connection. With a one night stand it could be ego validation, physical release, or status seeking. The odd thing about sex work is that while a lot of the reasons for sex can be selfish or egotistic or damaging or otherwise "bad" in our moral view, the for cash reason is somehow different. It can be consensual and enjoyable and not hurt or use anyone, and as such, much better "morally" then a lot of the sex people are having, but because it is also commercial, it's worse? This doesn't make sense.

And to Eud:
Do you believe that sex workers don't have partners? Or fall in love? Or struggle with unrequited affection or broken hearts? Because it seems like you think that if a person can see sex as a for-profit thing, they automatically ONLY see it that way. That's not true. They see sex with their partners just the same as anyone. It's that it can also be something else, with a different person, which is not different than a person seeing sex as just solely physical with a bar hookup and transcendent emotionally with a spouse. Just like anything else, context matters. Massage therapists don't feel the same way about their work as they do rubbing their lovers feet after a long day. A chef can hate their job or love their job and feel vastly different emotions about feeding their family. I don't think the person that feels so "different" or abnormal about sex in your statement is the sex worker. I think it's people who see money as so base a motivation that its addition to sex is somehow so much worse than the other selfish reasons people have sex.
Nov 17, 2015 secretagent commented on Man Shoots and Kills Woman During "Freaky Sex" Gone Wrong.
@9 I think you underestimate the vast stupidity of our nation.
Nov 17, 2015 secretagent commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: An Easy Call for a Former Call Girl.
Also, for those that say she disclosed too late, keep in mind that it takes a few months to determine someone's trustworthiness. Before that, you're not sure whether he'll hit you, call your boss, post about you on the Internet, God only knows. Men are fucking scary sometimes and women know better than to make ourselves vulnerable to someone too soon.

And if you think you wouldn't date a sex worker but you've had sex with lots of women or would date someone who'd had sex with lots of men, think about that. How is going home with a man from the bar superior to getting paid for it?
Nov 17, 2015 secretagent commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: An Easy Call for a Former Call Girl.
@28 - you are still grieving. Most Anericans are cowards about death and can't even have a conversation about it, let alone date someone recently bereaved. Also, you sound a bit depressed - you can't really believe that "no one" is single, can you? Your happiness, on your own, is your path to a happy relationship. It's normal to be depressed right now, and some grief therapy can really help. If you continue to have self defeating thoughts, seek some individual therapy. You deserve to be happy and loved, and a good therapist can help you get there. Starting with yourself.
Nov 4, 2015 secretagent commented on Voters Repeal Anti-Discrimination Law in Houston After Hate Campaign Targeting Trans Women Using Public Toilets.
Yeah, you know what doesn't stop people from rape and assault? Laws. Rape and assault are already illegal. Men still go into people's homes, bathrooms, cars, etc and rape and assault them. And they sure as fuck don't need to dress as women to do so. Because why would they? We already have a rape saturated culture in which they're unlikely to be reported, caught, or even prosecuted.

Also, Houston is looking for a man who raped a 12 year old in a women's bathroom right now. Dressed as a man.…
Nov 3, 2015 secretagent commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Invisible Man.
I feel like this is the letter of a lot of bitter men and women in the world. "Why is everyone so shallow? None of the hot gals/guys want to fuck me!" *facepalm*