Oct 3, 2012
Dynomite commented on Savage Love.
@17 Not to play the "blame the media" card, but women are sort-of conditioned to chase after assholes. Movies and TV shows almost preach to us that we can "change" these assholes with our affection and then they will be, like, totally the best boyfriends ever.
Jul 11, 2012
Dynomite commented on I, Anonymous.
@2 Believing that loving a child isn't a completely selfish act is a nice thought, sure, but ultimately false. Having kids is one of the most selfish acts we can do. That doesn't mean it is necessarily a bad thing, sometimes that selfishness manifests itself in good, giving, parenting, other times it manifests in self-centered and negligent parenting.
That being said, I like this I,A. Kind of reminds me of the scene from Speed where the buggy is (thankfully) full of soda cans but goes SOARING.
That being said, I like this I,A. Kind of reminds me of the scene from Speed where the buggy is (thankfully) full of soda cans but goes SOARING.
Jul 5, 2012
Dynomite commented on I, Anonymous.
Wow. Your current boyfriend is either an insecure twat or is getting fed up of you talking about your ex all the time... Guaranteed.
On that note, you're an insecure twat.
On that note, you're an insecure twat.
May 17, 2012
Dynomite commented on Savage Love.
@68 Maybe I wasn't clear, I think having certain things you are set against whether they come from bad experiences in the past, or an unexplainable bad feeling at the thought of doing them (like your example of flicking water in the face), all of that is perfectly acceptable. We all have little things we would never do.
What I think is ridiculous and should 'revoke your GGG card' is putting your foot down and saying "No, I could never do any S&M or inflict pain in any way". The two (or more) individuals that are involved need to work together to find a compromise where both are happy with the decision so the giver doesn't feel like they are hurting the other person but the receiver can still get off.
I agree, being GGG is all about being open and receptive to talking about and trying new things. So saying no to all forms of S&M to me, at least, is not GGG without even trying to find a method that works for both people.
What I think is ridiculous and should 'revoke your GGG card' is putting your foot down and saying "No, I could never do any S&M or inflict pain in any way". The two (or more) individuals that are involved need to work together to find a compromise where both are happy with the decision so the giver doesn't feel like they are hurting the other person but the receiver can still get off.
I agree, being GGG is all about being open and receptive to talking about and trying new things. So saying no to all forms of S&M to me, at least, is not GGG without even trying to find a method that works for both people.
May 16, 2012
Dynomite commented on Savage Love.
Forgot to add, the important thing is the people working together to help the giver to separate a little slap and tickle in the bedroom from getting the pulp beat out of you, and that is the responsibility of both parties.
May 16, 2012
Dynomite commented on Savage Love.
@43 I think the point is that the individual receiving the 'pain' is way more turned on than hurt. Maybe they can opt out of certain toys (I know someone that rushed a frat and had a really awful experience with paddling, I doubt he will ever want a paddle brought into the bedroom) but hopefully the receiver can express well enough that while it hurts, it feels great. Aside from some select traumatic incidences, I really don't think you can call yourself GGG if you aren't willing to do a little spanking. To me, that kind of S&M-lite is the foundation of GGG.
May 9, 2012
Dynomite commented on I, Anonymous.
Wow. Powerful. I looked it up and this happened back in 2009.
May 8, 2012
Dynomite commented on Savage Love.
Dan, I'm sad to have not seen it addressed in your column at all (apologies if I just missed it), but out here in North Carolina, the state just voted to ban same-sex marriage and any form of civil union. IN THE CONSTITUTION.
It is sad, really, really sad. And I'm only a temporary transplant here, but I want to cry. I read your column, watch your speeches and the "It Gets Better" videos and I feel hope. Then something like this happens (with a clear majority) and I surge into depression.
It is sad, really, really sad. And I'm only a temporary transplant here, but I want to cry. I read your column, watch your speeches and the "It Gets Better" videos and I feel hope. Then something like this happens (with a clear majority) and I surge into depression.
May 1, 2012
Dynomite commented on Savage Love.
Great thorough advice Dan!
I do have to nitpick on the "And when your girlfriend inevitably stumbles over—read: snoops and finds—evidence"... Maybe this isn't what you're implying, but it sounds like you think all women will snoop and pry (inevitably, really?). Sure, you could have been referring to the fact that S.O.s of both genders snoop, but there are some people who actually respect boundaries! Snooping should never be considered inevitable in a relationship, even if you are arousing suspicions through disappearing 6 times a year and coming back with mysteriously bruised balls.
Women, and men, are actually capable of asking questions to find answers instead of snooping!
I do have to nitpick on the "And when your girlfriend inevitably stumbles over—read: snoops and finds—evidence"... Maybe this isn't what you're implying, but it sounds like you think all women will snoop and pry (inevitably, really?). Sure, you could have been referring to the fact that S.O.s of both genders snoop, but there are some people who actually respect boundaries! Snooping should never be considered inevitable in a relationship, even if you are arousing suspicions through disappearing 6 times a year and coming back with mysteriously bruised balls.
Women, and men, are actually capable of asking questions to find answers instead of snooping!
Apr 25, 2012
Dynomite commented on Savage Love.
Wow, people are being really harsh on STUCK's SO. She can only possibly be a complete idiot or a complete prude? Yikes.
Not to point fingers here, but STUCK doesn't exactly sound like an exemplary boyfriend: "I travel for research and come home and agonize over writing it up", makes it sound like even when he is home he is busy, possibly complaining, and stressed. But oh in those few moments when he is not writing or gone he expects her to magically have a high libido and then just wait around while he's gone, twiddling her thumbs?
Most of the women I have met who "don't believe in masturbation" say that because they have not had success with it. They can't get in the mood solo, and that doesn't mean they are broken or a prude.
Not to point fingers here, but STUCK doesn't exactly sound like an exemplary boyfriend: "I travel for research and come home and agonize over writing it up", makes it sound like even when he is home he is busy, possibly complaining, and stressed. But oh in those few moments when he is not writing or gone he expects her to magically have a high libido and then just wait around while he's gone, twiddling her thumbs?
Most of the women I have met who "don't believe in masturbation" say that because they have not had success with it. They can't get in the mood solo, and that doesn't mean they are broken or a prude.
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