Corylea
Boston area, USA
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Bio

Middle-aged bisexual woman. Licensed psychologist, gamer, modder, fanfic author

in the past few hours Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: His Wife Wants Him Hard But Hates the Boner Pills That Get Him Hard.
When I was in grad school back in the 80's, my officemate was surprised when she complained to our academic advisor about a lack of research ideas, and the advisor said, "Ideas are like erections; if you think about them too hard, they go away again." :-)
Apr 13 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Horny Feminist Seeks Porn That Won't Destroy Her Faith in Humanity.
@51: Thanks for that link, Undead Ayn Rand, that sounds well worth checking out!
Apr 12 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Horny Feminist Seeks Porn That Won't Destroy Her Faith in Humanity.
A question related to the LW's -- I love playing computer games, and someone suggested I try a porn computer game. I hadn't know there WERE porn computer games. I checked out one site and felt rather sick afterwards, since all of the games were about humiliating and/or forcing the woman.

Does anybody know of a sexy computer game that's NOT about rape and/or humiliation?

I worry about what it says about our society that "sexy" somehow equals "humiliate women then rape them!"
Mar 8 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Twenty-Something Ways for a Twenty-Something to Come Out.
Dan's list is funny but seems a bit disrespectful and slighting to someone who's just taking their first steps out.
Mar 6 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: When Should She Tell Her Date She Wants to Bang?.
Kinsey 4 woman here.* In my experience, a lot of women don't want to be pushy, so they wait for the other person to make the first move. When you're both women, that means you can wait an awfully long time! Make a move; she's probably wondering why you're taking so long. :-)

*For those not familiar with the Kinsey scale, 4 means bisexual leaning towards lesbian.
Feb 27 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Longest SLLOTD Ever Posted.
Proof positive that you can get older without ever actually growing up.
Feb 3 Corylea commented on Two Magazine Covers.
Wow. That New Yorker cover says SO much in one very simple image. That's really powerful. Good job, whoever thought up that one!
Feb 1 Corylea commented on Savage Love.
WAD, the "I want a man to grab me" part of your letter suggests to me that you want a more aggressive or dominant style than you're currently getting with your girlfriend. At two months into a relationship, the two of you are still figuring out what works together, and if you want a more aggressive style, you can ask for it, and she how she handles it.

Also, do you actually want a dick, or do you just want to be fucked? If it's the latter, you can ask your girlfriend to wear a strap-on, or you can ask her to fist you. Strap-ons never come just as you're getting into it, and fists don't generally feel as if you're not full enough. You may find that fists and/or strap-ons beat bio dicks anytime. :-)
Jan 11 Corylea commented on Savage Love.
I found the question from FAGS especially amusing in light of the fact that readers were encouraged to write to "Hey, Faggot" in the early days of Dan's column. :-)
Dec 23, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: New To America & Ready To Get Laid.
Given that you have so little experience interacting with women, I think it would be a great idea for you to get experience interacting with women when sex is NOT on the table. Take a class or join a club about a topic that interests you, and talk to the women in the class or club just as PEOPLE.

Once you have more experience interacting with women, once you see them as fellow human beings and not as something strange or mysterious, the whole dating thing will go a LOT better. Plus you might make some friends along the way, and who can't use a friend?

Take a class in a useful skill -- like cooking -- or in a sport you're interested in -- like tennis, or in a hobby that calls to you -- like drawing or pottery or music. Not only will you learn something that's either fun or useful -- possibly both -- but you'll have something to talk about on your dates.

Every club I've ever been involved with has needed more people to do the actual work of the club and not just attend events. Volunteer to set up chairs or serve food or do whatever it is that your club does, and not only will you get to know the other active, involved people who also volunteer, you'll develop a reputation as a good and useful person. Plus, it will give you more things to talk about on dates.

Take enough classes and join enough clubs, and you may not need a dating app at all, because you may be meeting lots of people who like what you like and who've gotten to know you in a more natural way. (I'm not dissing dating apps; it's just that no one I know really enjoys meeting people through them, whereas everyone I know has enjoyed meeting like-minded people in classes and clubs.)
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