Helenka (also a Canuck)
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♥ As a Gemini, I acknowledge many dualities of which woman/child and bold/timid are but… more »

Oct 18 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love.
Before this column is buried upon the release of a new one, I'd just like to state - for the record - (because too many commenters are obviously confused by what infection VULVA has) it's NOT a yeast infection, it's BV. Different symptoms and causes. Different colour, too. [OTOH, I'm fascinated by the mention of strep bacteria ... something to investigate.]

BV seems to be a not uncommon reaction to the introduction of semen, as semen can alter the normally acidic pH levels in the vagina. Either participant using soap could also trigger it as most soaps are formulated with a pH level that is hostile to vaginal pH. I don't think it's something to which an already unbalanced vagina can become accustomed. It's just a basic chemical incompatibility. If the couple want to salvage the physical relationship, then it's either male or female condoms. Or no penetration, though withdrawal might be an option, depending on how reactive she is to precum, if he produces it.
Sep 28 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love.
@25 (undead)
IMO, the compulsion to confess being a CPOS is not so much from wanting to sabotage a relationship or hurt one's partner (or oneself), but rather the immense sigh of relief from having had to hold that secret in instead of blurting it out five minutes after the illicit sex happened. Because then it's out in the open and the cheater doesn't have to lie or hide.

That the revelation hurts the partner or torpedoes the relationship isn't even considered ... another sign of emotional immaturity, perhaps?
Sep 16 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Police Reports Illustrated: Man With Knife Wants To Buy Cigarettes.
Uh ... "waiving"? Definitely should be "waving".

Otherwise, I was also entranced by the decrease in movement from one pane to the next.
Sep 15 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: He Wears Short Shorts.
95% narcissist, 5% fetishist. I know (from personal ... uh ... misery) that straight men can be huge narcissists. As for this guy, he also craves constant attention, so he won't even allow himself to mar that long plane of smooth skin with socks and shoes.
Aug 16 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Blown Opportunities.
Just for the purpose of informing other SLOGgers, surgery doesn't need to involve the pelvic area to affect one's ability to partake in sexual activities. Even when I had eye operations, my aftercare brochure specifically ordered me to refrain from ALL sexual activity ... anything that might result in orgasms for a month, because of the risk of the stitches being ripped, merely from exuberant (uterine) contractions.

HUNGER's new interest may be too squeamish or too timid to tell her exactly what the operation was for. He might also think that saying "intercourse" is the polite way of referring to all sexual activity if he's received the same restrictions. In any case, HUNGER may want to ask him to clarify if they can partake in other activities (manual/oral) where he would be aroused, possibly to orgasm.
Jul 13 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Stray Text Message Outs Wrong Parent.
My husband absolutely does not want to tell our children that he is gay. He doesn't feel like he will ever need to, especially because he doesn't feel that he would ever want to be in a relationship with a man.
Well, IMO, MOM's hubby has come up with a convenient excuse ... that, because it's only sexual for him, there's absolutely no reason for him to be obliged to come out. I call BS. Because, he's also been pretending to "play house" with MOM for over two decades, putting up such a lovely façade of heterosexual fidelity and stability. But, now, having to come clean - even if only to save MOM from being cast in a cheating light by the kids - is something he's not prepared to do, because he likes the fact that he's gotten away with it (if we take at face value that the kids honestly never had doubts about him) and would hate for the kids to know he's been faking it (and that - in a way - he coerced MOM to construct the illusion of a monogamous marriage). Nope, he wouldn't like to be seen as the bad guy, no matter whether his dalliances were straight or gay (though there might be more of a visceral recoil with the gay aspect - as I see it).

I'm puzzled by the text mixup. What kind of a phone does MOM have that doesn't clearly identify the recipient. I just opened my phone and saw my recipient's name. If she's sending naughty texts, then she should assign a name (even if it's not the person's real name) or code. ::shakes head::
Jul 2 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Man 4 Woman Annoyed @ Men 4 Men.
I'm not being serious here, but perhaps guys who respond to a "m4w" are dyslexic or have other problems with reading comprehension and simply think the poster made a spelling error. Even I'm more used to seeing the palindromic "m4m" in print.

My serious proposal is that I wish these sites required a contract (even an electronic one) wherein anybody who does make an unwarranted contact would be fined, with the fine being split by the site and the poster. Hey, if you're going to get pestered, at least the money might soften the irritation factor and eventually reduce the stupidity factor. Well, one can only hope.
Jun 14 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on The Orlando Shooter Might Have Been a Twisted Closet Case.
... while I'm still thinking about this, I wonder whether he thought that by exterminating as many gay people as possible, that his own shameful inclination and forbidden desires would vanish (temptation eliminated; problem solved) - which might align with the absurd thinking of that idiot who wants to exile all gay people on an island.
Jun 14 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on The Orlando Shooter Might Have Been a Twisted Closet Case.
I was still typing when you posted, but we both seem to be seeing the situation through the same lens.
Jun 14 Helenka (also a Canuck) commented on The Orlando Shooter Might Have Been a Twisted Closet Case.
When I finally began to think of the actions of this stain on humanity, I wondered how long he'd researched just where he was going to attack. Did he do a general online search of gay clubs, etc. and, once he had a few names, did he visit the clubs in person to get an idea of best vantage point to carry out the executions.

It makes so much sense that a grotesquely self-loathing gay man could do all the prep, see all the people who were being openly gay, and became even more enraged at the freedom they were enjoying.