commented on A Few Words on Our Use of "F" and "Sh"
I read every issue and Slog post, and appreciate what you do, but no one swears that much in real life! Or at least I've never heard that much swearing in real life, even when waiting for the bus at 3rd & Pine, or taking the 358.
It feels like you can't think of more descriptive adjectives and adverbs, and so just default to the easiest option, which is also the least creative.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Pray Away
Dan's answer may have been the cold splash of water in this young man's face that woke him up to the reality of his situation. When I was 20 and writing in overblown, self-centered prose very similar to the letter-writer's, an answer like Dan's would have shocked me utterly, because no one had ever, EVER spoken to me in such a blunt way. During my sheltered upbringing, I seldom needed any correction, and if I did, it was delivered in a gentle and roundabout manner. No one ever told me to grow up; instead, I was encouraged with reams and reams of flowery prose... prose very similar to the letter-writer's, btw.
So advice like this would have been a refreshing, bracing, scary, and challenging thing for the 20-year-old me to take in. I might have just disregarded the advice because of the tone, which I would probably have used as more fodder for my own little martyr complex ("see how persecuted she is: truly, those who are of this world do not understand those who store up their treasures in the next world!", blah-de-blah). But underneath that defense mechanism, I bet Dan's advice would have been percolating away...
Reading this letter in 2009 -- and other letters to similar advice-seekers -- led me to embrace my own "weird," "deviant," "perverted," etc. desires. And I'm so much happier for it than when I was up there on the cross congratulating myself on how happy God was going to be over my self-abnegation.
commented on Savage Love
I've had my Paragard copper IUD for over 5 years, and I love it! After the time it took my body to adjust, I've had no problems whatsoever. My periods are shorter and less painful than they were before, and I love the peace of mind that comes with having a highly reliable birth control device already implanted. No hormones, shots, patches, pills to remember to take, diaphragms that are impossible to insert, etc.
I also use condoms to prevent against STDs. Having the IUD inside me gives me more confidence than using just condoms alone. I've had one break on me (well, not "on" me; heh). The IUD gives me more peace of mind than just using condoms alone.
As for the pill: I had heard that birth control hormones in the water were doing weird things to wildlife. (It's one reason I went with a copper Paragard, which is not enhanced with hormones.) But now I see that the issue of birth control hormones in the water has been vastly overstated. Good to know!
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Poly Problems
And you definitely know you're doing it rong when you spend more time figuring out what relationship graphing software would be most optimal to chart out all the various connections in your extended polycule(s).
commented on SL Letter of the Day: She's a Very Kinky Girl
Coming out of the woodwork to say that when this question first ran, my mind was BLOWN. This column was a huge influence on me -- for the first time I realized what sort of situation might really work for me. It was a "thing!" There were other people who did things like this!
Hugely formative, in a very good way. *grin*
Nov 9, 2012
commented on Takers, Makers, and Givers
I completely agree! From my upbringing in the far-right world, though, I'd say that many ARE very committed to the idea of giving. They don't think it's the government's job to mitigate poverty. They think all charitable giving should all be to private charities and churches, which would dole out the aid as they see fit.