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in the past few hours clashfan commented on Accusing the HALA Committee of “Playing the Race Card” Is an Attempt to Derail an Important Conversation.
I've never understood how simply bringing up the topic of race--especially when fully relevant, as when discussing urban housing patterns of the last 150 years--becomes 'playing the race card'.

It's like they think it's a game or something.
Jul 26 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Gone Camping.
@60: The boyfriend knew damn good and well that LW wasn't okay with him having sex with the woman. He fucked her anyway, and then tried to make it seem like LW was being unreasonable. At the very least, he didn't err on the side of caution with regards to her feelings. He cheated.

If he's going to place Camping Woman's feelings above those of his girlfriend's ("How would you feel if someone just ran out after their GF right before they were going to fuck you?"), then he can continue to do so, but LW won't be his girlfriend anymore.
Jul 26 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Gone Camping.
@63: If you mean that telling someone you're single when you're not, or telling someone you're an astronaut when you're not, and using that to get laid is rape--well, no one's prosecuting cases like that as sexual assault. It's unseemly, and deceptive, and wrong--but I don't think it's criminal.
Jul 22 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why Couldn't He Follow the Rule?.
Actually, when I ducked a kiss from a woman because kissing wasn't within the parameters I had with my partner, I explained the reasons why. It made me more attractive to the woman, because she knew that I would abide by expressly stated boundaries and that I respected my partner's wishes and comfort levels.

I now live with that woman. She's amazing.
Jul 22 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Memory Hole.
@39: I had an agreement like that with my ex. No kissing (or anything more) without talking to the partner about it. Flirting okay, exchanging contact info great, no making out without checking in first.

This led to an interesting first encounter with the woman who became my girlfriend. We met at a party, and were flirting like mad. At one point, she was sitting on my lap, and came in for a kiss. I had to duck, but when I explained why, she understood--and thought it was hot that I kept my agreements and boundaries with my partner.
Jun 17 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: His Ex-Girlfriend's Texts.
What about it bothers you? I mean, if you trust him to not cheat on you, then what is it about the texting that's bugging you? It could be that he's setting himself up as a savior/white knight for this girl. Or you feel he's more focused on her than on you. Or that he's using a woman who is in love with him for little ego-boosts without actually having to be in a relationship with her.

If you can figure out exactly why his behavior is bothering you, maybe you and he can talk about it without it turning into a big fight.
Jun 11 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Monogamous Commitments vs. Monogamous Ultimatums.
13: Are you lost? Did you wander in here accidentally?
Jun 2 clashfan commented on School Kids Visit Sex Toy Store.
How did they not have a permission slip, like every other field trip schoolkids ever go on?
May 28 clashfan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Cuck You.
Sounds like the fairly normal adjustment period for opening up a relationship. If what you want is a few one-offs, and not dating situations, say that. "I don't want us actually dating other people. Hookups is one thing, seeing someone multiple times feels like cheating to me, and it's breakup-worthy."
May 14 clashfan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Vengeful Ex.
@24: What? What contortions do you have to engage in to think this guy's in the wrong?

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