clashfan
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Mar 22 clashfan commented on Savage Love.
@40: Hunter, don't ever change.
Mar 21 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Tale of Two Colleagues (She's Humping).
@7: She doesn't even have to be single! Just not date people she works with!
Mar 18 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: You Heard It Here First, Cousin.
LW is allowed to be squicked by whatever squicks him. He's allowed to draw a boundary (don't sex your cousin or we're done) and she's allowed to not agree to that boundary and end the sexual nature of her and LW's relationship.

This might be a case of a mismatch in relationship goals, and LW is probably best served by calling a halt to their sexing. He wants a dating relationship, and she does not. He views months of make-out sessions with no orgasm as teasing, and she views it as her libido being on a downturn but still having a good time. Walk away, bud. Date others.
Mar 15 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Too Drunk To Swing.
Being generous, possibly they make the drinks stiffer at that place than you're used to. Now you know to slow down. Don't have more than one, or two if you're there more than an hour and had a solid supper beforehand.

You're disappointed. That's normal, when people around you (including your husband) got laid and you didn't. Figure out what you want now. Close it back up? Go back and try again? He doesn't get any play until after you've had a successful encounter? Talk it out with your husband, and let go of trying to get him to accept blame. If you're throwing blame around, keep some for yourself for not knowing your limits of alcohol and imbibing at a play event.
Mar 13 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Trump Killed His Wife's Libido.
There's so much going on under the surface of this letter. How did LW, his wife, et al., ruin the brother's wedding? Why was brother and his fiancee staying with them, and how stressful did that get--and why? I don't see mention of a farm--was that edited out of the original letter? So many things!
Mar 11 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: When Should She Tell Her Date She Wants to Bang?.
@53: Yay, glad it worked out well for you both!
Mar 7 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Should I Warn My Mom's New Girlfriend About My Mom?.
You don't even have to be direct about it. Do a little ex-name-dropping. "When did you go to Hawaii, Mom? Was that with Barb or with Jean?"
"Remember how Susan hated tomatoes? Huh--oh, she was 3-4 exes ago, I guess."
Mar 7 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: When Should She Tell Her Date She Wants to Bang?.
Awkward can be appealing. If 'adorkable' wasn't a thing, I wouldn't get any play at all.

I hang in some kinky circles, in which talking about consent and what is and isn't on the table is considered sexy. Bringing it up and talking about it *is* being confident--it's knowing that you might be shot down but still taking the chance. You can do this in a shy, awkward kinda way, or you can do it in a hot, sexy way, but it can be done.
Mar 6 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: When Should She Tell Her Date She Wants to Bang?.
"Hey, I'm a little nervous bringing this up, but I'm kinda into you, and I'm wondering where you're at." OR (sideways look) "I was just wondering how it would go for me if I tried to kiss you right now." OR "I'm gonna awkward this up for a minute--I like you, and I'm attracted to you, but I have no idea if you feel the same way. Where's this at for you?"
Feb 8 clashfan commented on Jill Stein Is a Right-Wing Tool.
I saw a response to this Stein tweet: "Shut up, Tofu Palin."