clashfan
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Aug 14 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Swinging Double Standards.
@47: I think that 'casual sex' does not automatically mean anonymous sex, or hookups, or one night stands, or what have you. It can mean a sexual relationship in which you're not close--so you wouldn't say you're friends, exactly--but you have sex dates periodically.

As an aside, I've found myself in one of these recently, and I'm trying to work out how I feel about it.
Aug 4 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Back To the Dorms.
They didn't spell out agreements ahead of time--what if this isn't working? What's the deadline to decide by? What's Plan C if this all goes sideways? Who's responsible for which chores? How much money will she be able to pay each month?

They didn't have these conversations before she moved in, two weeks after she moved in, or as the dorm deadline approached. That might be the equal fault of both legal adult parties, or it might be more his fault, being ten or a dozen years older and having lived independently before where she hasn't. But you can't reasonably make it more her fault than his.
Aug 3 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Men In Her Life.
@30: I got the impression that he would grab her breasts and ass for his own turn-on (or because he thought he should), but not caress her body, slide his fingers inside her, or kiss-suck-lick her anywhere.
Aug 2 clashfan commented on Savage Love.
If the massage guy is actually an LMT, you could report him to whatever regulatory board applies in your state. Think carefully about how you word the complaint if you don't want to rat him out for sex work, but just for making creepy comments. Or maybe just do word-of-mouth negative referrals.
Aug 1 clashfan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Just Say No.
#7 is correct.
Jul 29 clashfan commented on SL Letter of the Day: In Demand.
I live with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. He and I are not romantically/sexually linked, and he and I each date other people. We can't be THAT far out of the norm, surely?
Jul 29 clashfan commented on SL Letter of the Day: Unicorn Hunters.
She needs to figure out what she wants from the encounter, and what she's up for, and what she might consider but should warn there's a good chance she'll back out on. That might look like:
1--I want sex with the dude, in styles A, B, and C
2--I'm up for making out with the wife, and her watching the sex with the dude, or a 3-way with all attention focused on him
3--I'm up for trying receiving sexy actions X, Y, and Z from her, but there's a real good chance I'll back out pretty quick.

See what they say. They might be really focused on a sweetie for her, and pass on you. That's okay! It beats getting into a bedroom or hotel room, with a bunch of mismatched expectations, and everyone winding up grumpy or hurt.
Jul 27 clashfan commented on Savage Love.
@22: Hard luck for the poor girl whose breast you smother on!
Jul 26 clashfan commented on A Conversation With a #BernieOrBuster About Dinner.
I'm with @10. I voted for Sanders in the CA primary. I'm glad he ran, and I'm happy he moved the party--and Clinton herself--to the left. I'm grateful that he got economic disparity front and center in the Democratic Party discussion.
Let the BoBs have some time to handle their disappointment. Kicking them when they're down isn't doing anyone any good. Let them adjust, and most of them will come around. Keep poking at them, and they'll still be angry in November. And that benefits only Trump.
Jul 21 clashfan commented on Savage Love.
What would you tell a woman who wrote in that her brother in law kept saying "Sure do miss being single, and banging all the single ladies!" every time her sister left the room?