May 15
Tim Horton commented on SL Letters of the Day: Just Say No to DSGs.
Tim Horton commented on SL Letters of the Day: Just Say No to DSGs.
"Oh no, a drunk attractive person is hooking up with me but isn't interested in a relationship" - said by no man, ever.
May 4
Tim Horton commented on SL Letter of the Day: No Magic Beans.
Tim Horton commented on SL Letter of the Day: No Magic Beans.
This should be required reading before anyone gets married. You can't - and wouldn't want to - make someone have sex with you that they don't want to have.
May 1
Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
@62 - maybe I am in an unforgiving mood because the Leafs lost....but Jesus H. Christ, you need to loosen up the Che fedora and take a breath. Accusing a single soldier of enacting the enemy combatant statute and operating the drone program seems a little dramatic.
May 1
Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
@37 - EricaP, for what it's worth, I am not saying cheating is ok; I don't pretend to be the arbiter or morality. I only raise the potential of ITHANGMS having kids because I can't fathom what other reason someone would stay in a sexless marriage, absent perhaps some extreme illness.
The above being noted, I think you, and many in this Savage echo chamber, vastly overestimate how well low libido or withholding spouses will react to the suggestion of opening up a marriage, becoming monogamish, etc. When all else fails, conducting a discreet and safe affair seems more virtuous that blowing up the family home, especially if the sexless phase is transient. But obviously, we will have to agree to disagree.
The above being noted, I think you, and many in this Savage echo chamber, vastly overestimate how well low libido or withholding spouses will react to the suggestion of opening up a marriage, becoming monogamish, etc. When all else fails, conducting a discreet and safe affair seems more virtuous that blowing up the family home, especially if the sexless phase is transient. But obviously, we will have to agree to disagree.
May 1
Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
@10 - it seems very natural (at least to me) to want to sleep with lots of other women but to feel jealousy if Mrs. Horton did the same. Hypocritical, yes, but still natural. I assume this double standard is fairly typical which is why there are so many affairs yet so few honest and open relationships.
Which brings me back to EricaP's @6 advice that ITHAMGS encourage her lover to confess his affair. With the caveat that we know nothing of her lover's situation: if we assume it's the typical long term married with children and relationship generally good but for the lack of sex - then a confession will do nothing but cause tremendous hurt to his wife, and potentially the end the marriage and break up his children's home. He has managed to keep his affair discreet, so why not keep it that way while he tries to resurrect his sex life with his wife? I see no reason to rip off the bandaid and rub her nose in it.
Which brings me back to EricaP's @6 advice that ITHAMGS encourage her lover to confess his affair. With the caveat that we know nothing of her lover's situation: if we assume it's the typical long term married with children and relationship generally good but for the lack of sex - then a confession will do nothing but cause tremendous hurt to his wife, and potentially the end the marriage and break up his children's home. He has managed to keep his affair discreet, so why not keep it that way while he tries to resurrect his sex life with his wife? I see no reason to rip off the bandaid and rub her nose in it.
Apr 30
Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
Tim Horton commented on Savage Love.
WIFE's letter reinforces my belief that good ole fashioned discreet cheating in underrated and total honesty in an relationship is overblown.
WIFE is clearly uncomfortable at the thought of her husband fucking around overseas. So why not just keep up the illusion of being faithful while keeping your affairs discreet, mature, short-lived, safe-from-STDs and preferably out-of-town. On the off chance either of them get "caught" they should be mature enough to understand that forced celibacy is hard and forgiveness is a virtue.
DADT implies permission to sleep around. Clearly she doesn't feel comfortable granting that.
Chalk it up to one of those white lies that occurs over the course of a successful and hopefully long marriage. Take your affairs to your grave.
WIFE is clearly uncomfortable at the thought of her husband fucking around overseas. So why not just keep up the illusion of being faithful while keeping your affairs discreet, mature, short-lived, safe-from-STDs and preferably out-of-town. On the off chance either of them get "caught" they should be mature enough to understand that forced celibacy is hard and forgiveness is a virtue.
DADT implies permission to sleep around. Clearly she doesn't feel comfortable granting that.
Chalk it up to one of those white lies that occurs over the course of a successful and hopefully long marriage. Take your affairs to your grave.
Apr 29
Tim Horton commented on NBA Player Comes Out: "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay.".
Tim Horton commented on NBA Player Comes Out: "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay.".
@24 - You are right - not one of my teammates growing up were out of the closet. I hope I didn't imply that Collins' announcement wasn't courageous.
Anyway, Tim Tebow got cut by the Jets, so teh Gays were + 1 NBA gay and -1 NFL gay. Gay neutral as far as sports world is concerned.
Anyway, Tim Tebow got cut by the Jets, so teh Gays were + 1 NBA gay and -1 NFL gay. Gay neutral as far as sports world is concerned.
Apr 29
Tim Horton commented on NBA Player Comes Out: "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay.".
Tim Horton commented on NBA Player Comes Out: "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay.".
Yawn. Speaking as a mid-30s straight male ex-jock and current sports junkie, I don't see this as that groundbreaking. Most people my age and younger grew up around openly gay people. We all pretty much knew who the gay guys were on my hockey/football teams. All that has changed is the political climate to allow them to come out.
That being said, the fact that most people would shrug their shoulders is a big deal.
That being said, the fact that most people would shrug their shoulders is a big deal.
Apr 26
Tim Horton commented on SL Letter of the Day: Wrong To Completion.
Tim Horton commented on SL Letter of the Day: Wrong To Completion.
@44 - I am with 48. I would be thrilled to spend my day going down on women, even if no reciprocity. While I do believe I am a special snowflake (just ask my mom), I don't think my fondness for pussy is unique.
Apr 25
Tim Horton commented on SL Letter of the Day: Wrong To Completion.
Tim Horton commented on SL Letter of the Day: Wrong To Completion.
@10 is right. Blowjobs are a simple combination of hands, pressure and enthusiasm. You can teach the first two, the last is harder to come by, pun intended.
In the abstract, I totally get where the LW is coming from. While there are plenty of women who will give a BJ, it's the rare gem (and fucking hot) when you find a girl who get's off on the dick sucking. Gay men have it good.
In the abstract, I totally get where the LW is coming from. While there are plenty of women who will give a BJ, it's the rare gem (and fucking hot) when you find a girl who get's off on the dick sucking. Gay men have it good.
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