KateRose
Pennsylvania
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Aug 19 KateRose commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Blown Opportunities.
Bah, my reply didn't submit.

@52, while I agree that there is a definite distinction between having "intercourse" vs "sex", so that was my bad for not being specific. It still doesn't change my statement in 51.

If someone told me they couldn't have intercourse, my response wouldn't be to fling myself face first at their crotch. I'd want to know if oral sex was also off the table either by doctors orders or their own preferences.

I was more concerned with the fact that 45 was recommending grabbing someone's genitals without asking first. Which, sure, if you've been with them a long time, there's an idea of whether they'll be receptive. But if you've not even done that particular sexual act, asking first is always the way to go.
Aug 19 KateRose commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Blown Opportunities.
@52 Very true, and definitely a distinction. But, if someone said they couldn't engage in intercourse, I'd imagine it better to ask them if receiving oral sex was on the table instead of just falling face down onto their crotch.
Aug 19 KateRose commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Blown Opportunities.
@45 There is definitely a difference between just going for it with an established partner and with a new one. Sure, there are plenty of guys that would be totally fine with a girl just pulling out their dick and going to town on it. But that doesn't mean it's ok to do it without getting consent.

And the LW said he can't have sex. Oral sex is a type of sex. So without clarifying, she could be going against what his treatment plan is.

So, she could try it, and it could be well accepted and wonderful. Or, she could try it, and potentially cause him injury. OR she could try it and be sexually assaulting him.

So, maybe erring on the side of asking first is a good plan.
Apr 1 KateRose commented on Savage Love.
@79 " from the twee profile pic (“I'm really just a cute kid on the inside, folks! Don't you like me? Just a little? Please?”) "

Not that this has anything to do with the rest of your statement, but I definitely don't consider the kid from Pet Sematery to be the best example of adorableness.
Mar 30 KateRose commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: What To Do?.
I was definitely more concerned with the idea that she had considered leaving her husband than him asking her to marry him. Plenty of poly people are married (in name, obviously, not legally) to more than one person. I have several friends who either married a second partner, or are in the process of planning a ceremony to do so. Not everyone has primary/secondary/tertiary type relationships. Some people try to keep things more equal.

But if she's talking about leaving. That's a different thing entirely.
Nov 14, 2013 KateRose commented on SL Letter of the Day: Smallsville.
I'm going to admit that size is, at least a bit, important. I'm not a size queen by any means. I've been with guys that were on the smaller side of average. And I've had a wonderful time. However, PIV was a bit lacking. It might not make me popular to admit that I prefer bigger than average, but since I can come from vaginal penetration and I ENJOY having my cervix bumped sometimes, size is a plus. And yes, I know, fingers/toys, etc. But they just don't hit the same way.
I wouldn't miss out on someone awesome for it, but I'd certainly hope he wasn't opposed to strap-ons occasionally.
Oct 11, 2013 KateRose updated his or her location.
Oct 11, 2013 KateRose answered a bunch of weird questions about himself or herself.
Oct 3, 2013 KateRose commented on SLLOTD: Fully-Clothed Fantasy.
I think sissoucat has it @26 when she says "Perhaps because, as a female, I don't pick the male signals of faking it ? " vs those that think gay porn is much more enthusiastic and people are enjoying themselves more. Many of the men in gay porn are heterosexual, and take viagra to get/stay hard.
Aug 12, 2013 KateRose commented on The Experiences of a 17-Year-Old Feminist.
I had to stop reading about halfway through, so on the off chance that I'm reiterating something that someone said, I apologize.
As a woman, I have witnessed other women cat-calling men. Regularly. No, that does not negate how horrible it is when a man does it to a woman. Women do still have a long way to go with being considered "equal", and it's because of this that people are willing to dismiss the behavior when it's instigated by a woman because of the history of oppression. If a woman sexually harasses a man, and other's dismiss it because she's a woman, isn't that really just another form of oppression? "Oh, it's ok, she's just a woman. She can't really cause any harm. And, besides, she's probably had it happen to her hundreds of times."
Part of the reason we haven't been able to get to a point of equality is because there are always people that want special privileges to make up for their oppression for awhile before the actual equality sets in.
It's horrible when anyone violates anyone. Period. When someone makes sexual comments at someone else, it either is, or can at least feel like, a threat of violence.
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