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LateBloomer
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Average-sized, average-looking guy with nice eyes and a cut body is seeking a...whoops. Wrong profile.

May 4 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Is "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Right For You?.
"Also, it's astounding how few guys on business trips care about my wedding ring."

No it's not.
May 4 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Great Expectations.
Hey LW! Thanks for the summing up. Sounds like you did things right, and in the process learned some more about poly relationships and, more importantly, about yourself. Nothing wrong with that.

"I like the idea that we can love more than one person." Totally. Seductively simple idea, but there's sooooo much more to it than that isn't there. But there's no way you would have known about that without giving it a try.
May 4 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Great Expectations.
(In awe) Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
May 3 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Great Expectations.
Well, phew. Vous ĂȘtes trop gentille.
May 2 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Great Expectations.
Kay I'm done now.
May 2 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Great Expectations.
On sober reflection, the reason I'm all cranky-pants about a comment that's normally worth no more than an eyeroll is the context in which it was given. The (mildly) sexist comment was given in the service of an argument that women, by definition, can't be sexist. The irony took me past amusement into annoyance.

Also fascinating to me is the reason women by definition can't be sexist. Because men and women have different lived experiences, and men can't know the sexism that women experience. And why can't we know? Well because, by definition....

Also also fascinating is how much Estarianne knows about my own lived experiences. Not everything, of course, just enough to know that I've never experienced sexism. She knows this about me because I'm male, you see, and by definition..... This saves her the bother of having to listen to me or anyone else of my gender on the subjection of sexism which, again, my gender prevents me from understanding. Not that that's sexist.
May 2 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Great Expectations.
Whenever women make broad, sweeping statements about what men are, what is typically male, what men think (!), what men's real motivations are (!!), it reminds me of the loud American stereotype. Easy to do, satisfying to sneer at, fun to spin condescending theories about, and the product of lazy thinking and inaccurate observation. There's a certain amount of truth hiding in there, but it's not a complete truth and it paints a much more negative and exaggerated version of reality than a more considered comment would allow.

And it's not sexist at all.
May 2 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Great Expectations.
Estarianne @78 -- "Victory by beat-down. A very male technique."

I was going to let this one go, but I can't. One guy on the thread is using this technique. All the others are not. So what makes it "very male"? A few days ago a woman on another thread, staunch feminist, told me repeatedly to go fuck myself. Was she being very male?

Also, you'll notice the guy who practises victory by beat-down has refrained from replying. Is he being very female now?

I find these sweeping, dismissive generalizations about gender so unhelpful. When they're not inaccurate, they're at best incomplete and misleading if taken seriously.
Apr 30 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Great Expectations.
Alright, good work guys, super effort today, loving the ideas. Ummm...Sissou, great input, I like the French angle. Is it alright if we make you Ukrainian? Eastern Bloc accents are trending right now. The jackass can stay, the kids'll love that. I'm thinking we can make Eudaemonic's "You're lying!" the show's first catchphrase, sort of like "Watchoo talkin' bout, Willis?" and tie it in to the laugh track. Also Bi honey, love your reading, can you make your character a little more pouty, you know, a little more mmmmm, and maybe a tighter shirt--no, scratch that, no shirt, you'll always be walking around in a yoga bra, good for the ratings. Okay, good work guys. Big hug!
Apr 28 LateBloomer commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Photo Play.
Might be worth mentioning that I don't think this relationship is necessarily bound for the shitter. She's got to find a way to like him, really like him for being who he is, with all her heart, not just with her appreciative brain, and not deep down wish he were different, and not resent him, and maybe accept that she herself might be the cause of some of his shitty behaviour. He needs to be less of a self-serving sneak and to respect her boundaries a hell of a lot more--and make some half-assed attempt at understanding that, even though something may be no big deal for him, it is for her, and that might be worth respecting. They both need to talk more, and let go of a couple things.

In other words, standard relationship issues, imo. Nothing new here. Or they could break up.
 

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