Aug 20, 2012
ciennasmommy commented on
Antiques Roadshow Appraises My Rape Whistle.
It was your Great Great Grandmother's rape whistle, honey. She was the one who Waltzed with Ugly. Your great great aunt just wasn't a morning person. Anyway, these days no one needs a rape whistle, just a tighter vagina. Or fluids that dissolve soft male tissue. Or you are lying and it's not legitimate rape as much as vaginal indifference. In that case, I recommend your Second Cousin Twice Removed (and three times inserted) Hump Harmonica. It's less shrill, as a lady should be.
May 2, 2012
ciennasmommy updated the link to his or her website.
Apr 4, 2012
ciennasmommy commented on
I Am Indifferent to Cats.
Cienna grew up with cats. We always had several. They would show up and take over our house, with their pushy coy cuteness and claws. One used to shit in our bathtub EVERY FUCKING DAY. Cienna speaks from a Learned Position.
LIke Gods and Religion, it doesn't matter what you love or find comfort in dressing up, pretending it loves you back, I just don't think that anything that shits in one's literal or figurative garden should be hoisted on anyone. Except latte drinkers.
Apr 2, 2012
ciennasmommy commented on
Lambs Are Tastier Than Chihuahuas.
@16!
It's called Spoonin' the Ewe! Easter Traditions! That whore Sherri Lewis started the fad with Lamb Chop, then made a mockery of everyone by leaving her hand up there and making fun of children to their faces. Their dirty gullible faces. Fun!
Apr 2, 2012
ciennasmommy commented on
Lambs Are Tastier Than Chihuahuas.
@14 We don't talk about Duane...we only text about him.
Nobody in the family 'shears' sheep, you simple-minded metroperplexedual. We are far too busy for that. Shearing is done by Professionals, just like with your designer dogs anal duct spritzering and the people you pay to make homeless folks less visible in the pretty people's part of town. Only shearing is really difficult to do right and takes a lot of time, where you people are just fat and lazy and have ridiculous values.
Love!
Apr 2, 2012
ciennasmommy commented on
Lambs Are Tastier Than Chihuahuas.
These lambs are milk fed because they pass up the leftover mexican food and gummy bears I keep tossing over the fence, which I believe would make them spicier AND SWEETER...But no. Milk. Anyway, who else would suck on a ewe's tit, more than once...RIGHT. DUANE!?
This is a Scottish Black Face ram lamb. A wool breed. They aren't sheep we eat unless one needs to die. There are reasons that sheep need to die. Not just carseat covers and fancy sock reasons, either.
Mar 9, 2012
ciennasmommy commented on
Spend Spring Break Losing Weight With Your Cat in the Wilderness.
In Idaho cats are also known as "Chinese Chickens."
A Chinese Chicken allowed to Free Range in the wilderness for a month goes for Top Dollar in our Whole Foods markets, if we had any. Add that subtle vibration that purring makes at night in a sleeping bag and you have yourself a full meal deal with a reverse happy ending.
You can't go into the wilderness here in Idaho and not run into 'herders' with their chinese chickens purring away in pleasure bags.