commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Bonus Advice for WWWM & VIRGN
Yep, she knows what she is talking about - even though she is a late starter. If I can offer some similar dating advice, here goes. Nobody is going to date you if you sit at home watching chick-flicks. Also, throw away that list of "deal-breakers" - obviously you can keep some like criminal, drunk, drug-addict etc, but the other shit, welcome to lonely old age while still searching for the perfect "ONE". As Dan says, round up.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: London Calling
Who knows if this is true. It's certainly written by somebody who could be an English teacher.
The bit that doesn't ring true is how happy everyone is with the current arrangement. I'm a sex-positive person and despite the fact that in the bedroom I am ridiculously vanilla, this doesn't change my view that people should do what makes them happy. I count ex-prostitutes (actually,they were escorts, but it's still prostitution) amongst my friends. Two of them haven't done very well for themselves - and they are "only" middle-class. Others vary from rich to high flyers. Nevertheless, they are all now in conventional relationships and I think they would balk. (I'll ask one of them for kicks)
If the letter-writers mother, husband and assorted families are all peachy about this, I would be shocked. Families fall out about whose turn it is for Xmas lunch. I can't imagine this dynamic transplanted into my reality.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Thrilla In Vanilla
I agree that kinsters should disclose early. Frankly, I don't know why I am here reading Dan's page. I am about as vanilla as you can get. Most kinks appall me and some disgust me, however, I wish nothing but the best to those that get something out of them.
Let me say that if my long term partner rolled out some kink I would not be interested. I struggle enough with the borderline vanilla stuff that most people wouldn't even think about.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Longest Read
Seriously, I only skimmed and have a vague idea about what the question was. However, I have to say that if somebody writes a novella in which is embedded a question, there are two glaring issues. 1. Whatever is wrong with him has been analysed to the nth degree, so he has no chance = DTMFA 2. Brevity is a virtue, particularly when it comes to describing your issues. If you have pages worth then either you're over-analysing or it's doomed. I suspect column A and B.